I'm sitting here, white as a sheet and trembling, in a state of abject shock after hearing the news this morning that Barack Obamas has failed to retain the Nobel Peace Prize for a second time. Apparently he didn't even make the play-offs, which must be a crushing disappointment.
Despite employing his army of peace-bringing robot extermination drones to blow up hordes of Islamic mentals and saving the UK, France and Germany from the prospect of wild terminator Muslims wreaking havoc on the streets of London, the boulevards of Paris and the linden-lined strasse's of Berlin, he was cruelly snubbed by those cold hearted Norwegian fucks.
Instead they gave it to some Chinese bloke, who, rather than bringing universal peace and happiness to the world, like some people we could mention, is apparently a criminal, in prison for subverting state power by writing a particularly frightening leaflet. He's called
Liu Xiaobo although god knows how in the world you pronounce that. A lot more complicated than, say, Barack Obamas.
I'm sure you too are disgusted and i urge you all to launch an immediate boycott of Norwegian pornography, trolls and Ibsen plays. From this day forth i resolve never to allow another fjord in the house.
'Not a Second Time' - The Beatles