USA Today:Noted political loser Donald Trump announces plan to lose presidential race

Joe Capitalist

Racism is a disease
Noted political loser Donald Trump announces plan to lose presidential race again

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A twice-impeached former one-term president who helped incite an attack on the U.S. Capitol and refused to participate in America’s peaceful transfer of power announced Tuesday that he will again put his ego above all else and enter the Republican presidential primary.
The Florida man, presently the subject of a federal espionage investigation relating to the removal of classified documents from the White House, appeared at his gaudy South Florida resort where he has overcharged the Secret Service details that protect him and blathered senselessly about things that never happened while he was president.

Trump bores the masses with presidential announcement
Seemingly bored regurgitating the same pablum he has repeated over and over and over again to crowds of cult-like followers across the country, the man whose company is presently on trial in a criminal tax fraud case made a series of specious claims that America was perfect when he left office in 2020.

That is, of course,*a complete fiction that ignores the fact that when he left office like a huffy school bully angry about getting detention,*there were still thousands of Americans dying each day of a virus he had worked hard to play down and the country was reeling from a violent insurrection incited by his unwillingness to accept the results of a free and fair election.
The insurrection-inciting Trump fools no one
The almost-tragically narcissistic man who lost reelection and caused his own party to lose both chambers of Congress*went on*to say that he, as president, went “decades” without a war, a mathematical impossibility that would be embarrassing for him if it weren’t wholly drowned out about all the other embarrassing things.*

Time has come to dump Trump: Come on, Republicans. Our midterm losses are the final straw.

Flanked by an array of American flags, as if the collective surface area of them might somehow cover his own aura of autocracy, the former American president who*repeatedly expressed*deep respect for murderous Russian President Vladimir Putin*swiftly lost*the audience in his faux-opulent ballroom, babbling on about “deals” and “China” and “the largest number of votes.” He appeared less like a president and more like a bombing stand-up comedian.
 
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