Disillusioned
New member
And most of the time the abusee will cooperate with the abuse, they think they can make it better, or they're trying to protect their kids, or they don't want to be "that abused woman". Restraining orders are meaningless because what they mean are, "I was in fear for my life but the person hasn't done enough substantial acts to get themselves imprisoned, there isn't a way around that because its a bail issue as well as several other rights, and as I said earlier, a great deal of time the victim won't press charges despite pleas from family, friends and police. Its not a nice situation or crime, however I don't know what could be done to make it better.The problem is, as someone pointed out, there is no way to actually protect the victim. Restraining orders are meaningless to a violent abuser. Add in years of conditioning to the fact that the abuser will punish them for violating his "rules", and you have what amounts to justification. I am sure there are plenty of examples of abuse victims killing their abuser. But there are probably far more examples of abusers killing their victim. There is an old (and bad) joke among domestic abuse workers - "If you want to kill a woman andget away with it, marry her first".