Dixie - In Memoriam
New member
Okay, to clear up any possible future misconception or "red flag" you might take from the title of this thread, I don't mean balls, as in "testicles." Heaven's no! The Democrats lost those long ago, they are without testicles completely. I mean Crystal Balls.
Republicans lack the Crystal Balls which Democrats all seem to have inside their brains. It's obvious that this makes them much better qualified to lead our nation! People who have the ability to see into the future, and know what the appropriate action should be, regardless of how crazy it sounds at the time, are amazingly wonderful to have around. Think of all the turmoil we would could have avoided, by electing Democrats with their balls of crystal?
First, we wouldn't have ever had a 9/11! They would have known, by the Crystal Balls in their head, that Osama was going to attack the WTC buildings, and they could have tracked down every single piece of information we discovered afterward, before the terrorists ever knew what hit them!
We wouldn't need the Patriot Act or NSA Spy program, because again... the Crystal Balls in their brains would let them know who the bad guys were, and they could isolate their messages alone, and not violate any rights of anyone. We wouldn't need to interrogate captured enemy combatants, the Crystal Balls would tell them what the plot was, where and who was planning it, and so forth... no need for torture, or really even to detain them. Just turn them all lose and let the Democrats with their Crystal Balls, tell us what to do.
The whole Iraq War! Imagine how many lives could have been saved, and money saved, had we utilized the glorious power of the Democrats Crystal Balls? We would have known that there were no WMD in Iraq, and Saddam was a great guy, just like that great guy over in Iran, the Democrats know these things from the Crystal Balls. Should KimJong or some other nutbag, try to pull something funny with a nuke, the Democrats have their trusty Crystal Balls to save us all!
I mean, look.... let's face it Republicans, we just don't have the balls. The Democrats can withhold a pedophiles sex scandal for timely release to effect an election, then claim Republicans failed in their responsibility to protect the children. That really takes some balls. You see, with the Democrats Crystal Balls, they could tell by the innocuous and harmless friendly emails Foley sent to the pages, that he was a full-blown sexual deviant perverted child molester. The very call for Hastert to resign takes balls! Their Crystal Balls tell them that Hastert knew Foley was a fully-blown sexual deviant child molesting pervert, and allowed him to remain in his seat for political gain. Trust me, it makes sense if you have Crystal Balls.
Republicans lack the Crystal Balls which Democrats all seem to have inside their brains. It's obvious that this makes them much better qualified to lead our nation! People who have the ability to see into the future, and know what the appropriate action should be, regardless of how crazy it sounds at the time, are amazingly wonderful to have around. Think of all the turmoil we would could have avoided, by electing Democrats with their balls of crystal?
First, we wouldn't have ever had a 9/11! They would have known, by the Crystal Balls in their head, that Osama was going to attack the WTC buildings, and they could have tracked down every single piece of information we discovered afterward, before the terrorists ever knew what hit them!
We wouldn't need the Patriot Act or NSA Spy program, because again... the Crystal Balls in their brains would let them know who the bad guys were, and they could isolate their messages alone, and not violate any rights of anyone. We wouldn't need to interrogate captured enemy combatants, the Crystal Balls would tell them what the plot was, where and who was planning it, and so forth... no need for torture, or really even to detain them. Just turn them all lose and let the Democrats with their Crystal Balls, tell us what to do.
The whole Iraq War! Imagine how many lives could have been saved, and money saved, had we utilized the glorious power of the Democrats Crystal Balls? We would have known that there were no WMD in Iraq, and Saddam was a great guy, just like that great guy over in Iran, the Democrats know these things from the Crystal Balls. Should KimJong or some other nutbag, try to pull something funny with a nuke, the Democrats have their trusty Crystal Balls to save us all!
I mean, look.... let's face it Republicans, we just don't have the balls. The Democrats can withhold a pedophiles sex scandal for timely release to effect an election, then claim Republicans failed in their responsibility to protect the children. That really takes some balls. You see, with the Democrats Crystal Balls, they could tell by the innocuous and harmless friendly emails Foley sent to the pages, that he was a full-blown sexual deviant perverted child molester. The very call for Hastert to resign takes balls! Their Crystal Balls tell them that Hastert knew Foley was a fully-blown sexual deviant child molesting pervert, and allowed him to remain in his seat for political gain. Trust me, it makes sense if you have Crystal Balls.
