Kickball+Booze+Dark=World of hurt.

Beefy

Beefy

Worst gambler ever
So, as I'm in my Robaxin/Vicodin fog and at home injured and unable to work, I thought I'd share my tale with other lonely internet politics junkies, and you guys are my favorite lot of them.

2 weeks ago, I was eating zucchini and standing in the grass, watching the sunset behind diamond head when I dropped the plate over the fence down the hill behind the back yard (I was pretty lit up at the time). So I hop over the fence and proceed to eat shit down the lava rock and brush covered hill, in the process clapping my knees together and being unable to climb back out. So I holler and holler until my Amazon lady roommate discovers me and hoists me out of the bushes. I could barely walk to bed, but I managed, had a limp for a few days and just healed up over the weekend when our neighbors came by with a handle of vodka, a cooler full of beer and other spirits, and a giant exercise ball. They're all 20 something spring chickens, and I'm dear-old-dad at 34. So they want to play kick ball at the park down the street, so we all oblige. Its our house vs. theirs. 1st inning, I'm running to catch a pop fly and I get it, running full blast, and then fall onto my right shoulder and my head slams into the ground full force. I'm pretty lit up so I keep playing. This morning, I get up and I can't move my head. It took me 10 minutes to get out of the car at work, so I said fuck it, I go to urgent care and the doc says I'm all fucked up and can't work until next week. So, I'm taking today off, but I gotta be back at the office by tomorrow. I gotta quit drinkin.

Anyhow, I'm bored as shit and thought I'd share this tale with you.
 
I dont think I'll be playing shit for a while. Man, is this what its like to be old? I wish Doniston was still alive to answer that question for me.
 
Beefy said:
I dont think I'll be playing shit for a while. Man, is this what its like to be old? I wish Doniston was still alive to answer that question for me.
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Well it's not like you're in fucking Detroit. Or I in motherfucking Hawaii. But if the chance ever comes up, we need to play. Drunken.
 
CaptBillyTheKid said:
Well it's not like you're in fucking Detroit. Or I in motherfucking Hawaii. But if the chance ever comes up, we need to play. Drunken.
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You brought it up crakka! I will never, EVER be in Detroit. So let me know if you ever want to take the Missus out here. We'll play then.
 
Beefy said:
You brought it up crakka! I will never, EVER be in Detroit. So let me know if you ever want to take the Missus out here. We'll play then.
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Actually I think we have a free vacation there still available. What island are you on again? And is it easy to go between islands?
 
CaptBillyTheKid said:
Actually I think we have a free vacation there still available. What island are you on again? And is it easy to go between islands?
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I'm on Oahu, and yeah, its easy to go interisland. 20 minutes to Maui, half hour to Kauai, 45 minutes to big island...
 
Come on down. Its awesome here. I could show you way cooler shit than all the hokey tourist traps anyway.
 
beefy that sounds like a great time. you're a lucky dude, drunk kickball in Hawaii while blazed. yeah what a terrible time, lol.

a bunch of young poker players every year have what's called the drunken kickball classic down in austrailia. name pretty much describes the game. your story reminded me of that
 
Beefy said:
So, as I'm in my Robaxin/Vicodin fog and at home injured and unable to work, I thought I'd share my tale with other lonely internet politics junkies, and you guys are my favorite lot of them.

2 weeks ago, I was eating zucchini and standing in the grass, watching the sunset behind diamond head when I dropped the plate over the fence down the hill behind the back yard (I was pretty lit up at the time). So I hop over the fence and proceed to eat shit down the lava rock and brush covered hill, in the process clapping my knees together and being unable to climb back out. So I holler and holler until my Amazon lady roommate discovers me and hoists me out of the bushes. I could barely walk to bed, but I managed, had a limp for a few days and just healed up over the weekend when our neighbors came by with a handle of vodka, a cooler full of beer and other spirits, and a giant exercise ball. They're all 20 something spring chickens, and I'm dear-old-dad at 34. So they want to play kick ball at the park down the street, so we all oblige. Its our house vs. theirs. 1st inning, I'm running to catch a pop fly and I get it, running full blast, and then fall onto my right shoulder and my head slams into the ground full force. I'm pretty lit up so I keep playing. This morning, I get up and I can't move my head. It took me 10 minutes to get out of the car at work, so I said fuck it, I go to urgent care and the doc says I'm all fucked up and can't work until next week. So, I'm taking today off, but I gotta be back at the office by tomorrow. I gotta quit drinkin.

Anyhow, I'm bored as shit and thought I'd share this tale with you.
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Beefy......if we ever hear a story coming out of Hawaii of some white dude being incinerated cause he tried surfing a Kilawea lava flow while drunk....we'll all know who it was!

You need to give up drinking or you'll become like Cap'n Billy!
 
Beefy said:
Come on down. Its awesome here. I could show you way cooler shit than all the hokey tourist traps anyway.
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Like how to eat shit down the lava rock and brush covered hill! Just fuckin' with you Beef. 34 is not old. You aren't fucking yourself up because you are old. You are fucking yourself up because you decided to do this shit drunk. You've gotten hurt so often lately people must think you are a Haole.
 
Yeah, that's what it feels like to be old. Socrtease just joined the old people's conspiracy where they pretend that it doesn't hurt and it's all smoking cigars and spending money you've saved up all your life.
 
Damocles said:
Yeah, that's what it feels like to be old. Socrtease just joined the old people's conspiracy where they pretend that it doesn't hurt and it's all smoking cigars and spending money you've saved up all your life.
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I never said it doesn't hurt to be old, I just said Beefy isn't old and he hurts because he drinks too much. At 34 years of age, I played 5 games of Racketball a night and lifted weights with no pain from the activities themselves. Sometimes I collided with someone and that caused pain, but not because I was Old. Now I am getting older and I hurt some. My knees hurt from jumping out of airplanes.
 
Socrtease said:
I never said it doesn't hurt to be old, I just said Beefy isn't old and he hurts because he drinks too much. At 34 years of age, I played 5 games of Racketball a night and lifted weights with no pain from the activities themselves. Sometimes I collided with someone and that caused pain, but not because I was Old. Now I am getting older and I hurt some. My knees hurt from jumping out of airplanes.
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Next time use a parachute. :D
 
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Socrtease said:
I never said it doesn't hurt to be old, I just said Beefy isn't old and he hurts because he drinks too much. At 34 years of age, I played 5 games of Racketball a night and lifted weights with no pain from the activities themselves. Sometimes I collided with someone and that caused pain, but not because I was Old. Now I am getting older and I hurt some. My knees hurt from jumping out of airplanes.
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He wanted to know if that is what it felt like, he didn't ask, "Does this mean I am old..."

Yes, that's what it feels like. According to every old person that I know, except the ones in the conspiracy who try to tell you it's all butterfly-pooping unicorns and leprechauns with pots of gold.

BTW - Beefy, no... getting old doesn't hurt at all. You'll be fine. Just stop digging your face into hillsides and falling over huge dodge balls while clapping your knees together.
 
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