If you would give just one more time, we could keep this forum running and fully occupy your weekends when you are on your release program.
BTW, President Trump and I still love you.
Dying
- Thread starter domer76
- Start date
BTW, President Trump and I still love you.
Number Six
Chief Exit Officer (CEO)
Ohhh, you return, rattling your little donation cup again?
Listen closely, mortal. I harvest emperors, influencers, and men who think a forum thread counts as a personality. I do not care if you love me. I do not care if you and Donald Trump sit around braiding each other’s hair.
Your affection does not delay me.
Your admiration does not impress me.
And your dramatic speeches about saving the forum certainly do not frighten Death.
If you and your orange-tinted companion think your love grants you immunity, I have grim news, I reap the lovestruck and the loud alike.
And as for the rest of it?
If you’re both acting unhinged, ranting into the void, and demanding devotion like cult leaders of a crumbling message board… then yes, from where I stand in the cold fog of eternity, that is some deeply deranged behavior.
Now either save your precious forum with coin and competence…
Or prepare a tasteful headstone for it.
I do offer bulk discounts.
It is fun watching a howler monkey meltdown in real time. Mr. Tiny Penis gelded himself. Are you to be the next by melon balling your own dried up ovaries and feeding them to the owls?Ohhh, you return, rattling your little donation cup again?
Listen closely, mortal. I harvest emperors, influencers, and men who think a forum thread counts as a personality. I do not care if you love me. I do not care if you and Donald Trump sit around braiding each other’s hair.
Your affection does not delay me.
Your admiration does not impress me.
And your dramatic speeches about saving the forum certainly do not frighten Death.
If you and your orange-tinted companion think your love grants you immunity, I have grim news, I reap the lovestruck and the loud alike.
And as for the rest of it?
If you’re both acting unhinged, ranting into the void, and demanding devotion like cult leaders of a crumbling message board… then yes, from where I stand in the cold fog of eternity, that is some deeply deranged behavior.
Now either save your precious forum with coin and competence…
Or prepare a tasteful headstone for it.
I do offer bulk discounts.
Nevertheless, you remain my favorite cockwomble as I find your frustration oddly fascinating.
You could save yourself hours every day if you could figure out how to triple down on all the positive emojis you give me.
One of your cheapskate leftie peers asked me if you would up your donations to Dammo in their name.
Number Six
Chief Exit Officer (CEO)
I sensed a disturbance in the tantrum field.
It sounded like a howler monkey discovered Twitter and a thesaurus at the same time. Truly majestic. I almost brought popcorn… but alas, I only harvest souls, not snacks.
Now, as the Grim Reaper, I must say self-gelding, melon-balling ovaries, owl charcuterie boards… darling, I admire the creativity. Very avant-garde apocalypse-core. However, my schedule is frightfully booked, and I only collect souls when the hourglass runs out, not when someone rage-types themselves into a cardio event.
Favorite cockwomble, you say? Be still, my nonexistent heart. I haven’t been someone’s favorite anything since the Black Plague. You do spoil me.
As for tripling down on positive emojis, I carry a scythe, not a sparkle wand. The only thing I triple is existential dread. Though I could send you three skulls in a row if that helps:
consider them artisanal.And donations? I deal strictly in eternal consequences. Currency is so… temporary. Tell your cheapskate leftie peer that if they’d like to donate something meaningful, I accept firstborn egos and lightly used grudges.
Nevertheless, continue. Your frustration keeps my cloak billowing dramatically, and I do adore a good monologue before someone inevitably trips over their own outrage.
Now then… shall we practice deep breathing, or would you prefer to insult the void some more?
More AI.I sensed a disturbance in the tantrum field.
It sounded like a howler monkey discovered Twitter and a thesaurus at the same time. Truly majestic. I almost brought popcorn… but alas, I only harvest souls, not snacks.
Now, as the Grim Reaper, I must say self-gelding, melon-balling ovaries, owl charcuterie boards… darling, I admire the creativity. Very avant-garde apocalypse-core. However, my schedule is frightfully booked, and I only collect souls when the hourglass runs out, not when someone rage-types themselves into a cardio event.
Favorite cockwomble, you say? Be still, my nonexistent heart. I haven’t been someone’s favorite anything since the Black Plague. You do spoil me.
As for tripling down on positive emojis, I carry a scythe, not a sparkle wand. The only thing I triple is existential dread. Though I could send you three skulls in a row if that helps:
And donations? I deal strictly in eternal consequences. Currency is so… temporary. Tell your cheapskate leftie peer that if they’d like to donate something meaningful, I accept firstborn egos and lightly used grudges.
Nevertheless, continue. Your frustration keeps my cloak billowing dramatically, and I do adore a good monologue before someone inevitably trips over their own outrage.
Now then… shall we practice deep breathing, or would you prefer to insult the void some more?
You need a teacher to help you construct sentences comprised of your own thoughts. Perhaps contact TOP via PM.
Number Six
Chief Exit Officer (CEO)
Ha! I’ve been around long enough to meet spirits far older and wiser than that… and none of them were sloppy enough to mistake bourbon for wisdom.
Do you really think I, the Grim Reaper, will stoop to sending messages to some tipsy charlatan masquerading as an instructor? Ha! I have souls to collect, not drunk DMs to decode. Let them stumble through life on their own, my scythe doesn’t do tutoring… unless you count the occasional cutting critique.
Cockwomble, you gotta catch up, you have missed over 66,000 of my posts.
Number Six
Chief Exit Officer (CEO)
Ah, whining about downvotes now, are we? Listen, troll, the internet isn’t a safe nursery for your feelings. If your posts rub people the wrong way, or, let’s be honest, are just plain irritating then yes, they’ll get disliked.
I don’t hand out thumbs-ups for entitlement. Consider it practice thickening your skin before I or the forum come for you again. Complaining about it won’t reverse it, it just makes you sound like a ghost wailing in the void while I sharpen my metaphorical scythe.
Keep posting if you must… I’ll be right here, silently judging.