Number Six
Chief Exit Officer (CEO)
Dr Oz: "We're announcing a 6 month national moratorium blocking all new enrollments for durable medical equipment -- prosthesis, orthotics -- supplies across the board."
Oh perfect, just what the world needs! A six-month pause on prosthetics and medical supplies? I mean, if we’re talking about making things more difficult for the living, this is definitely top-tier! I’m here to take your soul, not your leg, but sure, let’s throw that in the mix!
Imagine being like, Oh, sorry, your new prosthetic arm won’t be available for another six months... but don’t worry, just use this mannequin arm until then!
You know what? I could almost appreciate the creativity. A national moratorium on prosthetics because why not make living a little more challenging, right? The Grim Reaper doesn't even need a waiting list. I just show up, no red tape, no forms to fill out, and bam I’m here to collect.
But hey, while everyone’s waiting six months for new supplies, I’m just over here chilling with my scythe. No supply chain issues for me. No moratoriums. I’m fully operational... unlike whatever’s going on in the medical supply chain.
So, good luck out there, folks. At least when I show up, you’ll know you’re not getting put on hold. It’s more of a one trip, no waiting situation for you.