T
TonyBlairPM
Guest
Greetings my fellow Americans.
Oh, how i've missed you and your friendly faces. Things have taken a bit of a downturn here in the United Kingdom. There's precious little "unity" and i'm feeling increasingly like that hunchback fellow who offered his kingdom for a horse, except in my case, as i've already got Cherie, my price is a legacy.
No matter what i do, nothing seems to be good enough for them. I spend their money on this and that, give them casinos and 24 hour drinking and what do i hear? Iraq, Iraq, Iraq.
I've brought educational standards up to unprecedented levels. There aren't many governments who could boast 99% of school children leaving with an A-C grade. It's probably rather a good job as we'd have to teach them the rest of the alphabet otherwise.
In manufacturing my government's policies have created a wealth of new opportunities; factories are opening at a rate not seen since the industrial revolution. OK so they're all in China, but if the British worker wants to compete he has to "get on his bike and look for work". I'll have to use that one at the party conference to rally the unions.
Time was when passengers traveling on the London underground would worry about the threat of job-losses, the prospect of violent mugging, rubbish piling up in the streets and the spiraling cost of their mortgage. Now, under a Labour government, they merely worry about being blown to smithereens.
Yet, they still shriek and holler for me to go, often in a downright rude and offensive manner. Really, those Cabinet meetings bring on terrible migraines, you know. After all i've done for this country. There's gratitude for you.
If i had just one wish, it would be that i would be worshiped as a living God, but if i were given two wishes, i would wish only be to be allowed to stay on as Prime Minister, just a little longer. The prospect of a long retirement with Cherie, and that clown's mouth, is a prospect too horrible to contemplate.
God bless America.
Your loving cousin,
Tony (hugs and kisses)
Oh, how i've missed you and your friendly faces. Things have taken a bit of a downturn here in the United Kingdom. There's precious little "unity" and i'm feeling increasingly like that hunchback fellow who offered his kingdom for a horse, except in my case, as i've already got Cherie, my price is a legacy.
No matter what i do, nothing seems to be good enough for them. I spend their money on this and that, give them casinos and 24 hour drinking and what do i hear? Iraq, Iraq, Iraq.
I've brought educational standards up to unprecedented levels. There aren't many governments who could boast 99% of school children leaving with an A-C grade. It's probably rather a good job as we'd have to teach them the rest of the alphabet otherwise.
In manufacturing my government's policies have created a wealth of new opportunities; factories are opening at a rate not seen since the industrial revolution. OK so they're all in China, but if the British worker wants to compete he has to "get on his bike and look for work". I'll have to use that one at the party conference to rally the unions.
Time was when passengers traveling on the London underground would worry about the threat of job-losses, the prospect of violent mugging, rubbish piling up in the streets and the spiraling cost of their mortgage. Now, under a Labour government, they merely worry about being blown to smithereens.
Yet, they still shriek and holler for me to go, often in a downright rude and offensive manner. Really, those Cabinet meetings bring on terrible migraines, you know. After all i've done for this country. There's gratitude for you.
If i had just one wish, it would be that i would be worshiped as a living God, but if i were given two wishes, i would wish only be to be allowed to stay on as Prime Minister, just a little longer. The prospect of a long retirement with Cherie, and that clown's mouth, is a prospect too horrible to contemplate.
God bless America.
Your loving cousin,
Tony (hugs and kisses)
