Dixie - In Memoriam
New member
Welcome to Dixie's Pinhead Zoo! Here you will find a wonderful and resourceful guide to the many unique varieties in the Pinhead species. We have identified 20 of the most incredible examples for your observation. You will witness the beauty and splendor of the appreciable and desirable pinheads in their natural habitat, as well as the most venemous and vile examples of disgust in the reptile house. It is recommended, for your saftey, please don't feed the pinheads. Enjoy!
VISITOR'S GUIDE (listed alphabetically)
AnyOldIron (britainicus pinheadicus)
Common slithering variety, found across many parts of Europe, venomous rhetoric and dangerous to humans. Often mistaken in America, for the harmless, non-pinheaded, and familiar, Chapdog.
Beefy (pinheadus erectus)
An exquisite example of the pinhead species, to dispute the myth that all pinheads are liberals. This non-liberal pinhead also defies normality within the species, by seemingly having sustained moments of valid and logical thought. This advanced capacity gives the variety distinction above all others, because it proves that pinheads do evolve, or at least, have evolved in the past.
bob (pinheadus simplex)
This variety represents the "Cradle of Pinheadity." It is believed, this is the simplest form of the pinhead species. Limited to rudimentary function and one sentence replies, this species tends to be a common nuisance, more than anything else. However, in the scientific community, it is important to observe this variety of pinhead, because it is teaching us so much we didn't know about the species.
Care4all (airheadicus americus)
An extremely rare variety of pinhead, often seen mimicking a kind and caring human being. Completely oblivious to reality, this species is fun to play with, and make excellent domestic pets. One of the more pleasant pinhead varieties, despite the typical pinhead annoyances.
charver (britanus fungis)
Another rare pinhead variety. Tolerable and harmless Brit, unlike the Anyold variety, but just as hopelessly clueless about politics. Appreciation of music, makes this variety a popular favorite of the pinhead species.
Cypress (imbecilecus harmonus)
Poisonous and dumb. Those are the attributes of this variety. Pinhead connoisseur's are often embarrassed by this mutation, but it is included for objective scientific evaluation. This variety is too profoundly retarded to ever cause any real harm, but can be a persistent pest to non-pinheaded humans. Congregating in groups, the rhetorical cry of this variety, is almost intolerable, and not unlike fingernails on a chalkboard.
Darla (venomus bitchicus)
Queen of the smart ass one liners, this cat-like variety is flamboyantly rude, and doesn't really give a fuck. A completely clueless, spoiled, stuck-up and condescending twit, who is destined to do damage to any male in her path. Feeds on male pinhead testicles, and snarls at anything non-liberal. Not domesticated, and doesn't do well in confinement. Please do not pet!
Desh (militaris liberalous)
Highly venomous and hostile variety of the species. The reputation of this pinhead is legendary, and indeed, Desh is the most commonly recognized variety of kook pinhead, worldwide. Moderates were once skeptical about the existence of kook pinheads, and the discovery of this variety was proof-positive, kook pinheads do exist and they are, in fact, a separate and distinct species.
DigitalDave (retoricus repeatus)
Resembling the parrot, this variety is curious and odd. It will actually take the form of the nearest pinhead, and is very hard to isolate. Much of its communication is rhetorical mimicking of what it hears from other pinheads. It is attracted to shiny objects.
ib1yysguy (sarcastimus punkus)
This pinhead variety has characteristics of the common jackass pinhead, however, in the presence of others, emits a repulsive and intolerable stench. Although this variety stands proudly as one of the loudest and most obnoxious pinheads, it is hardly recognized as significant in value to the species.
IHateGovernment (pinheadicus minor)
This variety of pinhead is an anomaly. A freak of pinhead nature, in that it's able to have intelligent thought at times, and appears seemingly normal. Very unpredictable and unreliable as a pinhead, many scientists have argued it is not actually a part of the species, however, the contradiction of hating government and posting on a political board, is a clear pinhead indication.
Immanuel (pinheadicus transfigurus)
An exceptionally rare and unique variety of pinhead, we are fortunate to observe. Another example of the non-liberal varieties, this pinhead is difficult to identify because of traits similar to moderatus republicus, a near cousin of the species. The amazing thing about this variety, is the ability to appear completely normal, and transform to a complete loon pinhead overnight.
Jarod (pinheadicus complex)
Few pinhead varieties exhibit all traits of the species so well, which makes the Jarod endangered. We should consider ourselves fortunate to have such an exquisite example here. Behold, the lack of common sense and logic, indicative of the pinhead trademark. Indeed, this variety has the familiar lack of values and morals found in many pinhead varieties, but it's the ability to blow smoke from its rectum, which makes this variety so amazing to watch.
LadyT (afro-americus democratus)
Distinctively different from other varieties, this pinhead is identifiable by the nose ring, used to lead it around by its DNC masters. It is an unusual specimen, because it seems to be a pinhead by sheer choice. A loyal perennial, and dependable helper of the species, this variety is fairly common and harmless unless you notice its pigmentation. It's very sensitive about this, and it's advised that you try not to notice it. Doing so, will often provoke agitation, and it's not advised to agitate this variety.
OrnotBitwise (dimwiticus analretentivus)
This variety is common, and has many of the common species traits, but distinguishes itself by its own delusions of grandeur. Defiant of labels, this pinhead will often argue it's not a part of the species, and has been able to actually convince the novice pinhead observer in the past, that it is not a part of the common pinhead species. Articulating of the same illogical pinhead thoughts, this variety has an unusual ability to display ignorance in a way that seems to mock intelligence at times.
robdastud (homo-erotica logcabinus)
This deviant mutation is rare and unusual indeed. At times, it seems to defy the pinhead template completely, leading science to believe it must simply be a pinhead by choice, however, many believe pinheads are all born with the affliction. In any event, the robdastud is the most promising example of a variety capable of achieving escape from the species, if that is possible, or if extinction doesn't become a reality for the variety. Routinely thrown under the bus by the other varieties in the species, the robdastud (aka: robdawg) is a pariah among his own pinheads.
SR (bullheadicus jerkus)
An extremely rare example of a Conservative pinhead. Scientists believe this variety was created by osmosis, through continual close proximity to so many strong pinhead varieties. It is believed this is the only way a Conservative can become a pinhead. The unmistakable lack of common sense and logic, are always a dead give away, and there is no escaping the fact this is now a distinct pinhead variety.
uscitizen (macacas pinheadicus)
The ever popular variety of pinhead. Full of goofy antics and dumb wit, this is a favorite among pinhead lovers. From feigned indignation to false outrage, this variety could win Academy Awards for its performances. Unlike the more undesirable varieties, this pinhead is a joy to play with, and promises hours of entertainment for the whole family. Just toss him a little bait, and let the hi-jinx begin! Never a disappointment, if you are expecting to see the full beauty of the pinhead species, this one displays it like a peacock.
Watermark (cranial pointicus)
Another rare and unusual member of the pinhead family. This variety is thought to be an example of a non-pinhead, reading enough pinhead books, to actually alter the shape of his cranium, thus turning him into a pinhead. At times, it almost seems sad to watch this variety struggle with the condition, as if it's a normal person trapped inside a pinhead mind. A popular variety among Anti-Pinhead advocacy groups, who routinely use him as an example of what could happen to you, if you read too many pinhead books.
zoombwaz (moronicus pinheadicus)
One of the minor varieties of pinhead. Similar to a weed, no real tentative value to mankind, and often used by the pinhead community to demonstrate support for their idiocy. This zygote pinhead is completely harmless and easily ignored because of its profound stupidity.
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VISITOR'S GUIDE (listed alphabetically)
AnyOldIron (britainicus pinheadicus)
Common slithering variety, found across many parts of Europe, venomous rhetoric and dangerous to humans. Often mistaken in America, for the harmless, non-pinheaded, and familiar, Chapdog.
Beefy (pinheadus erectus)
An exquisite example of the pinhead species, to dispute the myth that all pinheads are liberals. This non-liberal pinhead also defies normality within the species, by seemingly having sustained moments of valid and logical thought. This advanced capacity gives the variety distinction above all others, because it proves that pinheads do evolve, or at least, have evolved in the past.
bob (pinheadus simplex)
This variety represents the "Cradle of Pinheadity." It is believed, this is the simplest form of the pinhead species. Limited to rudimentary function and one sentence replies, this species tends to be a common nuisance, more than anything else. However, in the scientific community, it is important to observe this variety of pinhead, because it is teaching us so much we didn't know about the species.
Care4all (airheadicus americus)
An extremely rare variety of pinhead, often seen mimicking a kind and caring human being. Completely oblivious to reality, this species is fun to play with, and make excellent domestic pets. One of the more pleasant pinhead varieties, despite the typical pinhead annoyances.
charver (britanus fungis)
Another rare pinhead variety. Tolerable and harmless Brit, unlike the Anyold variety, but just as hopelessly clueless about politics. Appreciation of music, makes this variety a popular favorite of the pinhead species.
Cypress (imbecilecus harmonus)
Poisonous and dumb. Those are the attributes of this variety. Pinhead connoisseur's are often embarrassed by this mutation, but it is included for objective scientific evaluation. This variety is too profoundly retarded to ever cause any real harm, but can be a persistent pest to non-pinheaded humans. Congregating in groups, the rhetorical cry of this variety, is almost intolerable, and not unlike fingernails on a chalkboard.
Darla (venomus bitchicus)
Queen of the smart ass one liners, this cat-like variety is flamboyantly rude, and doesn't really give a fuck. A completely clueless, spoiled, stuck-up and condescending twit, who is destined to do damage to any male in her path. Feeds on male pinhead testicles, and snarls at anything non-liberal. Not domesticated, and doesn't do well in confinement. Please do not pet!
Desh (militaris liberalous)
Highly venomous and hostile variety of the species. The reputation of this pinhead is legendary, and indeed, Desh is the most commonly recognized variety of kook pinhead, worldwide. Moderates were once skeptical about the existence of kook pinheads, and the discovery of this variety was proof-positive, kook pinheads do exist and they are, in fact, a separate and distinct species.
DigitalDave (retoricus repeatus)
Resembling the parrot, this variety is curious and odd. It will actually take the form of the nearest pinhead, and is very hard to isolate. Much of its communication is rhetorical mimicking of what it hears from other pinheads. It is attracted to shiny objects.
ib1yysguy (sarcastimus punkus)
This pinhead variety has characteristics of the common jackass pinhead, however, in the presence of others, emits a repulsive and intolerable stench. Although this variety stands proudly as one of the loudest and most obnoxious pinheads, it is hardly recognized as significant in value to the species.
IHateGovernment (pinheadicus minor)
This variety of pinhead is an anomaly. A freak of pinhead nature, in that it's able to have intelligent thought at times, and appears seemingly normal. Very unpredictable and unreliable as a pinhead, many scientists have argued it is not actually a part of the species, however, the contradiction of hating government and posting on a political board, is a clear pinhead indication.
Immanuel (pinheadicus transfigurus)
An exceptionally rare and unique variety of pinhead, we are fortunate to observe. Another example of the non-liberal varieties, this pinhead is difficult to identify because of traits similar to moderatus republicus, a near cousin of the species. The amazing thing about this variety, is the ability to appear completely normal, and transform to a complete loon pinhead overnight.
Jarod (pinheadicus complex)
Few pinhead varieties exhibit all traits of the species so well, which makes the Jarod endangered. We should consider ourselves fortunate to have such an exquisite example here. Behold, the lack of common sense and logic, indicative of the pinhead trademark. Indeed, this variety has the familiar lack of values and morals found in many pinhead varieties, but it's the ability to blow smoke from its rectum, which makes this variety so amazing to watch.
LadyT (afro-americus democratus)
Distinctively different from other varieties, this pinhead is identifiable by the nose ring, used to lead it around by its DNC masters. It is an unusual specimen, because it seems to be a pinhead by sheer choice. A loyal perennial, and dependable helper of the species, this variety is fairly common and harmless unless you notice its pigmentation. It's very sensitive about this, and it's advised that you try not to notice it. Doing so, will often provoke agitation, and it's not advised to agitate this variety.
OrnotBitwise (dimwiticus analretentivus)
This variety is common, and has many of the common species traits, but distinguishes itself by its own delusions of grandeur. Defiant of labels, this pinhead will often argue it's not a part of the species, and has been able to actually convince the novice pinhead observer in the past, that it is not a part of the common pinhead species. Articulating of the same illogical pinhead thoughts, this variety has an unusual ability to display ignorance in a way that seems to mock intelligence at times.
robdastud (homo-erotica logcabinus)
This deviant mutation is rare and unusual indeed. At times, it seems to defy the pinhead template completely, leading science to believe it must simply be a pinhead by choice, however, many believe pinheads are all born with the affliction. In any event, the robdastud is the most promising example of a variety capable of achieving escape from the species, if that is possible, or if extinction doesn't become a reality for the variety. Routinely thrown under the bus by the other varieties in the species, the robdastud (aka: robdawg) is a pariah among his own pinheads.
SR (bullheadicus jerkus)
An extremely rare example of a Conservative pinhead. Scientists believe this variety was created by osmosis, through continual close proximity to so many strong pinhead varieties. It is believed this is the only way a Conservative can become a pinhead. The unmistakable lack of common sense and logic, are always a dead give away, and there is no escaping the fact this is now a distinct pinhead variety.
uscitizen (macacas pinheadicus)
The ever popular variety of pinhead. Full of goofy antics and dumb wit, this is a favorite among pinhead lovers. From feigned indignation to false outrage, this variety could win Academy Awards for its performances. Unlike the more undesirable varieties, this pinhead is a joy to play with, and promises hours of entertainment for the whole family. Just toss him a little bait, and let the hi-jinx begin! Never a disappointment, if you are expecting to see the full beauty of the pinhead species, this one displays it like a peacock.
Watermark (cranial pointicus)
Another rare and unusual member of the pinhead family. This variety is thought to be an example of a non-pinhead, reading enough pinhead books, to actually alter the shape of his cranium, thus turning him into a pinhead. At times, it almost seems sad to watch this variety struggle with the condition, as if it's a normal person trapped inside a pinhead mind. A popular variety among Anti-Pinhead advocacy groups, who routinely use him as an example of what could happen to you, if you read too many pinhead books.
zoombwaz (moronicus pinheadicus)
One of the minor varieties of pinhead. Similar to a weed, no real tentative value to mankind, and often used by the pinhead community to demonstrate support for their idiocy. This zygote pinhead is completely harmless and easily ignored because of its profound stupidity.
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We hope you've enjoyed your visit to Dixie's Pinhead Zoo!
Please Come Again, and Tell Your Friends!
Please Come Again, and Tell Your Friends!
