Matt Dillon
Retardium User
Move there instead! Just like a lot of people do!
* They have the lowest taxes to pay for your government corruption of practically anywhere else in the nation!
* They have both alligators and crocodiles. Fascinating creatures, actually. Just keep your distance.
* Excellent golfing.
* Excellent retirement community (The Villages). Primarily conservative.
* Ron DeSantis is governor, a staunch conservative.
* No masks. No vaccine requirements. No power for the Church of Covid. Live life and be happy breathing the fresh air!
* Always green.
* Surface water is sparking clear in most places.
* Close to major cruise lines.
* Almost never freezes. Like summer most of the time!
* Real Bermuda grass. Easy to care for.
* Woke bullshit outlawed in the schools.
* Close to major theme parks and amusement parks.
* Unique bar hopping in the Keys.
* See the creepy Everglades for yourself!
* Close to Cape Canaveral...America's space port!
* Wide variety of snakes. Some pythons are large enough to use as ten year line markers on football fields!
* Home of Sun and Fun, one of the largest airshows in the country!
* excellent boating, scuba diving, and other watersports!
* easy access to the Caribbean islands.
* Escaped Cubans, primarily conservative. Help them celebrate their freedom! They paid dearly for it!
* Democrats hate the place more and more.
Of course, there are downsides in every State. In Florida:
* blind and elderly drivers that like to travel at 3mph on freeways.
* highways under constant construction with no apparent chance of completion.
* occasional hurricanes making a mess out of coastal communities and beaches.
* Disney world, possibly the most expensive place on Earth.
* Florida man (a descriptive term referring to oddball individuals that like to do very strange things, frequently naked, frequently in a Walmart, sometimes both!).
* organized crime, particularly in Miami. Most of the drugs in the State come through organized crime.
* Kudzu (a creeping vine related to Morning Glory but grows much faster, up to a foot a day).
* sinkholes, usually caused by poor drainage management.
* monkees. They can be aggressive and will steal anything not nailed down. Fortunately, their numbers so far are relatively few.
* crappy pink flamingo statues in many yards.
* there are still Democrats in the State.
All in all, a nice place to live!
Actually sinkholes are caused by poor civic planning and too many people/industries sinking wells into the aquifer in too small of an area.
Like Spring Hill or Mosaic land.
Also, the Intracoastal project did not help.