I have always maintained the policy of never attempting to argue politics with my several liberal friends. I have found, for the most part, we have great friendships and great times together, as long as the subject doesn't end up on politics. Knowing that neither of us are likely to change our views, I choose to avoid getting into lengthy discussions about our differences. Whenever the conversation begins to go there, I can usually find something else to occupy their attention, and avoid the confrontation. First, I will try to change the subject, if that doesn't work, I'll pick up the guitar or turn on some music, and it usually works out lovely. I've maintained these very close friendships for 20 years or more, and haven't lost a friend yet, to my knowledge. I'm telling you this to lead into the story of my recent lesson in abandoning this policy, and the dismal results.
A liberal female friend and I were talking at a recent gathering, not really about politics, but just about how the world was, and how precious life was, and how much we had to be thankful for. Somehow, a comment was made about people with political differences, constantly fighting with each other over every little thing. I can't recall who made the comment, but I began to explain how I felt that most of the differences we consider impossible, are easily settled, if both sides are willing to accept compromise. In order to make my point, I mistakenly used the issue of abortion, which my liberal friend had a very outspoken opinion on.
What I was going to try and explain, was how my particular view was pro-life and I didn't agree with abortion on demand, but I could accept that abortion could be allowed in some cases, under certain circumstances, if we are willing to simply be honest with each other about what we're doing. I don't even have a problem of allowing states to decide individually, whether abortion is legal or not. I think this is a great compromise from most staunch pro-life supporters, in fact, I know it is, because I've gotten a lot of grief from them. The point was, the issue of abortion doesn't have to be impossible, it could be resolved between reasonable and rational people who are willing to accept some level of compromise in their personal views.
Well, before I could even start to make my point, in fact, as soon as the words "I am pro-life and don't agree..." came out of my mouth, my friend launched into an attack on me. She proceeded to tell me how my opinion wasn't legitimate unless I was willing to.... (didn't ever understand this part) ...come to that child years later and explain to them how they were there because I was pro-life, and now I am here to take care of them... Now, I admit, she had consumed several alcoholic beverages and I was completely sober, so there may have been a bit of booze distortion in her thought-to-speech process, but the idea that she wouldn't even allow me to explain my point, and insisted that my opinion was invalid unless I met some stupid criteria of hers, really pissed me off. I couldn't help but think of the irony, how this whole conversation began with me trying to make a point that two sides can get along with compromise and understanding of each other.
I learned that not everyone is open-minded to the opinions of others. I can respect that she had a different viewpoint, and I didn't place any burden of criteria on her to validate her opinion. Her opinions is hers, she owns that, whether I agree with it or not. It bothers me that she disrespected me this way, I really didn't expect it from her. No one's viewpoint was changed, but I believe I lost a ton of respect for her as a person. Not because she was opposed to my viewpoint, I already knew she was a liberal, but because she attempted to invalidate it and render it illegitimate, and without ever actually hearing me out. I also learned that, no matter how much I believed liberal and conservatives could resolve their differences in a civil manner, it's likely a fool's dream. But the most important lesson learned, by far, is never to argue politics with Liberal friends.
