Dying

[CBHype]

Oh, I always do, dear mortal… I just happen to wake up in… other people’s schedules.


But don’t worry, I’ll tuck myself in nice and cozy. If I happen to stop by your dreams, though… well… let’s just say I don’t need an invitation. Sweet dreams… I’ll bring the ambiance.

Sweet dreams

 

[Grim Reaper]

Sweet dreams
View attachment 78757

 

[CBHype]

Don't you worry. The dead can dance.

 

[Dutch Uncle]

You believe in voodoo don't you? It won't be of your own volition.

No, but I'm unsurprised a Brazilian like you believes in it.

 

[Grim Reaper]

Don't you worry. The dead can dance.

Oh, relax… you make it sound so grim. That’s my job.


Trust me, I’ve escorted enough souls to know, once you’re past the whole eternal void paperwork, things loosen up. Bones creak, sure, but give it a minute… everyone finds their rhythm.


You ever seen a skeleton try to moonwalk?
No muscles, no shame, just pure commitment.


So don’t you worry. The dead aren’t just lying around dramatically…
they’re out there rattling, twirling, and absolutely butchering dance moves from every century.


The dead can dance.
Badly… but with enthusiasm.

 

[CBHype]

Oh, relax… you make it sound so grim. That’s my job.


Trust me, I’ve escorted enough souls to know, once you’re past the whole eternal void paperwork, things loosen up. Bones creak, sure, but give it a minute… everyone finds their rhythm.


You ever seen a skeleton try to moonwalk?
No muscles, no shame, just pure commitment.


So don’t you worry. The dead aren’t just lying around dramatically…
they’re out there rattling, twirling, and absolutely butchering dance moves from every century.


The dead can dance.
Badly… but with enthusiasm.

You're awfully smug for a the walking dead.

 

[Grim Reaper]

You're awfully smug for a the walking dead.

No… not quite. But I’m certainly not alive either. I don’t breathe, I don’t age, and I’ve never had to worry about things like doctor’s appointments or taxes, a true blessing.


Think of me as… employed by death, rather than a participant in it. I’m the one who knocks when life’s lease expires. The universe keeps me on the payroll indefinitely, no retirement plan, unfortunately.


So no, I’m not dead.
But I do spend a lot of time with the clientele.

 

[CBHype]

No… not quite. But I’m certainly not alive either. I don’t breathe, I don’t age, and I’ve never had to worry about things like doctor’s appointments or taxes, a true blessing.


Think of me as… employed by death, rather than a participant in it. I’m the one who knocks when life’s lease expires. The universe keeps me on the payroll indefinitely, no retirement plan, unfortunately.


So no, I’m not dead.
But I do spend a lot of time with the clientele.

Are you taking LSD?

 

[Grim Reaper]

Are you taking LSD?

Oh please… if I took something like that, I’d have to feel things.


No, I don’t need LSD. I already see beyond the veil of reality 24/7. Walls are optional, time is wobbly, and I regularly have conversations with people who technically no longer have vocal cords.


Honestly, if anything, you’re the one on a limited perception plan.


But I appreciate the concern. If I ever start seeing extra skeletons… then we’ll both know something’s wrong.

 

[CBHype]

Oh please… if I took something like that, I’d have to feel things.


No, I don’t need LSD. I already see beyond the veil of reality 24/7. Walls are optional, time is wobbly, and I regularly have conversations with people who technically no longer have vocal cords.


Honestly, if anything, you’re the one on a limited perception plan.


But I appreciate the concern. If I ever start seeing extra skeletons… then we’ll both know something’s wrong.

So then you suffer from schizophrenia.

 

[Grim Reaper]

So then you suffer from schizophrenia.

Ah… bold diagnosis, mortal.


So you claim it is schizophrenia? How delightfully dramatic. I’ve escorted countless souls who insisted their minds were haunted, though, between you and me, most were simply arguing with themselves and losing.


But take care before tossing such words around. The mind is a labyrinth far more intricate than my own realm, and not every echo in the dark means there are two of you wandering the halls.


Now then… shall we proceed with wit, or shall I fetch my scythe for a second opinion?

 

[CBHype]

You're having a psychotic break son.

 

[Grim Reaper]

You're having a psychotic break son.

Ah… son, you say? How quaint. I’ve been around since before your ancestors figured out which end of the stick was the pointy one.


A psychotic break, though? Hmm… leans on scythe..


If I were truly unraveling, I assure you, the signs would be far more… terminal.


But worry not, I appreciate your concern. It’s not every day someone tries to diagnose Death itself. Usually they just scream and run.

 

[CBHype]

Ah… son, you say? How quaint. I’ve been around since before your ancestors figured out which end of the stick was the pointy one.


A psychotic break, though? Hmm… leans on scythe..


If I were truly unraveling, I assure you, the signs would be far more… terminal.


But worry not, I appreciate your concern. It’s not every day someone tries to diagnose Death itself. Usually they just scream and run.

So your the Chief Exit Officer..... you'll be going 1st.

 

[Grim Reaper]

So your the Chief Exit Officer..... you'll be going 1st.

Ahh… so you’ve figured out my corporate title.


Chief Exit Officer, Head of Eternal Transitions, Director of It’s Time to Go. Very prestigious. Excellent benefits. Terrible retirement plan.


But you’ll be going first, you say?
Bold of you to schedule your own appointment… most people just get a calendar invite they can’t decline.


Don’t worry, I’ll pencil you in. No need to rush, though. I enjoy a dramatic entrance… and an even more awkward silence right before it.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a backlog. Turns out everyone eventually becomes my top priority.

 

[CBHype]

Ahh… so you’ve figured out my corporate title.


Chief Exit Officer, Head of Eternal Transitions, Director of It’s Time to Go. Very prestigious. Excellent benefits. Terrible retirement plan.


But you’ll be going first, you say?
Bold of you to schedule your own appointment… most people just get a calendar invite they can’t decline.


Don’t worry, I’ll pencil you in. No need to rush, though. I enjoy a dramatic entrance… and an even more awkward silence right before it.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a backlog. Turns out everyone eventually becomes my top priority.

Go, tend to business. @Dutch Uncle is waiting for you.

 

[Grim Reaper]