Mexicana International Offers New “Adopt An Illegal Immigrant” Program
Mexico City—In what is sure to stimulate the American economy like never before, Mexicana International is now sponsoring a new program for Americans. This program, “Adopt An Illegal Immigrant,” is a ground breaking program that will give every American a chance at owning their very own illegal immigrant.
According to El Presidente de Mexicana International Maria Alonzo, this “new and innovative thinking” will lead the way for illegal immigrants to enter America without all of the hassles of starvation and dehydration. “This way,” Alonzo states, “Americans can sponsor a border crossing, and in return, they get to own their very own Mexican, Guatemalan, Nicaraguan, or whatever they choose. Now what could be more exciting than that?”
Alonzo contends that far too many illegals have been forced to turn back towards Mexico because of the lack of water and food available in the Arizona and Southern California deserts. Now, with this new program, Americans can provide Mexicans and other illegal immigrants, safe passage to their very own home.
“For a paltry $10,000, you’ll have your own indentured servant,” adds Alonzo. “The money also gets you a lovely picture of your illegal immigrant, food and water for five days, and a certificate of authenticity, proving that they are indeed an illegal immigrant. You just can’t beat a deal like that.”
As part of being ahead of the curve, Mexicana International has promised that all illegal immigrants will be fully trained in mowing lawns, washing laundry, scrubbing toilets, wiping butts and all phases of garden care—basically shovel ready jobs that Americans won’t do.
“Here at our headquarters,” says Roberta Gonzalez, “our Mexicans and other illegal immigrants are put through a rigorous training program, guaranteeing that they’ll work like a slave for you. In fact, our trainees are perfect for elite liberals. They’ll tuck you in at night, run and get your favorite brandy, and even scrub the bottom of your toilets with a tooth brush for next to nothing. Pay them $20 a week and you’ll never have to worry about that pesky IRS audit.”
Mexicana International maintains that there is an unequaled pride in owning your own illegal immigrant, and with this new program, every single American that chooses can have their own personal valet at their beck and call.
“Everyone loves a scruffy illegal immigrant,” alleges Alonzo. “And for $10,000, you can bring a loveable, scruffy illegal immigrant to you. If you’re a limousine liberal, then this is a chance for you to pull them out of the sweat shops and make yourself feel as if you’re really accomplishing something. There’s no need to suffer the indignity of dealing with snotty staffing services any longer. Like your morning cup of latte, take that bold step and have an illegal bring it for you!”
:lol:
Mexico City—In what is sure to stimulate the American economy like never before, Mexicana International is now sponsoring a new program for Americans. This program, “Adopt An Illegal Immigrant,” is a ground breaking program that will give every American a chance at owning their very own illegal immigrant.
According to El Presidente de Mexicana International Maria Alonzo, this “new and innovative thinking” will lead the way for illegal immigrants to enter America without all of the hassles of starvation and dehydration. “This way,” Alonzo states, “Americans can sponsor a border crossing, and in return, they get to own their very own Mexican, Guatemalan, Nicaraguan, or whatever they choose. Now what could be more exciting than that?”
Alonzo contends that far too many illegals have been forced to turn back towards Mexico because of the lack of water and food available in the Arizona and Southern California deserts. Now, with this new program, Americans can provide Mexicans and other illegal immigrants, safe passage to their very own home.
“For a paltry $10,000, you’ll have your own indentured servant,” adds Alonzo. “The money also gets you a lovely picture of your illegal immigrant, food and water for five days, and a certificate of authenticity, proving that they are indeed an illegal immigrant. You just can’t beat a deal like that.”
As part of being ahead of the curve, Mexicana International has promised that all illegal immigrants will be fully trained in mowing lawns, washing laundry, scrubbing toilets, wiping butts and all phases of garden care—basically shovel ready jobs that Americans won’t do.
“Here at our headquarters,” says Roberta Gonzalez, “our Mexicans and other illegal immigrants are put through a rigorous training program, guaranteeing that they’ll work like a slave for you. In fact, our trainees are perfect for elite liberals. They’ll tuck you in at night, run and get your favorite brandy, and even scrub the bottom of your toilets with a tooth brush for next to nothing. Pay them $20 a week and you’ll never have to worry about that pesky IRS audit.”
Mexicana International maintains that there is an unequaled pride in owning your own illegal immigrant, and with this new program, every single American that chooses can have their own personal valet at their beck and call.
“Everyone loves a scruffy illegal immigrant,” alleges Alonzo. “And for $10,000, you can bring a loveable, scruffy illegal immigrant to you. If you’re a limousine liberal, then this is a chance for you to pull them out of the sweat shops and make yourself feel as if you’re really accomplishing something. There’s no need to suffer the indignity of dealing with snotty staffing services any longer. Like your morning cup of latte, take that bold step and have an illegal bring it for you!”
:lol: