So why don't women want to become pilots ... or ATC's?
They do, just not in as many numbers as men. It's a good behaviorism question since women are certainly capable. I've worked with both female pilots and female controllers. On average, the female pilots were better than the male pilots: less whining, more focus upon the task at hand, more professional.
OTOH, they are rare, about 1 out of 20 by my experience, so maybe the maxim about "#2 tries harder" comes into play here. Male pilots, 9 out of 10 being Euro-American, had a wider range of competency with some very professional and some being whiney little shits that made a four-day trip miserable.
IMO, the difference can be found in two major areas: cultural conditioning, resulting in life goal desires, and access. Babies, especially my generation, are immediately subjected to social conditioning upon birth such as wrapping boys in blue blankets and girls in pink blankets. Boys who want to play "house" or with dolls are ridiculed while girls who want to play with toy trucks are pushed away and told to play with dolls.
Both flight training and ATC training are very expensive. Most people have to obtain loans for their training and end up heavily in debt. That requires a lot of dedication. Not as many females have that much desire to become professional pilots or controllers compared to males. This may be partly genetic since males are genetically predisposed to be more aggressive. This, coupled with cultural enhancements, make them bigger risk takers while females end up being more cautious.
This male-female difference can be demonstrated in gambling with twice as many males gambling than females and almost three times as many males having gambling addictions than females:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4736715/
There also seems to be some cultural influences noted in the above study.