IBDaMann
Well-known member

I like talking about the Mormon (LDS) vision of Heaven. I find it somewhat humorous and, as an atheist, I don't have to be totally reverent to obscure the [sillier] aspects.Are Heaven and Hell actual places that people go when they die, or do they metaphorically describe states of the soul?
Mormons think Heaven is a place that is infinitely huge. This means that when you eventually get there, there isn't any real chance that you're going to be able to find anyone that you know. So Mormons have this ritual called a "sealing" that magically binds family members with an invisible, magical epoxy (like holy Mormon Gorilla Glue) so that the entire family will be together, and waterproof, in heaven. Families that are not "sealed" won't be together. Families that are sealed who have an insufferable member who was kicked out of the family because nobody wishes to ever see him again, have to suffer him for eternity because there is no way to get anyone's "sealing" annulled.
Sealing's are only for families. Bride-Groom couples can get a sealing for their "family" upon marriage, and all children born into the "sealing" are automatically "sealed" at birth. However Mormons who might be expecting to look up their best friends in Heaven are shit out of luck. There's no way to "seal" friends.
Just when you thought that only the Catholic church would come up with a concept like "indulgences," LDS tells its congregation that deceased family members who never got in on a sealing are floating around lost in heaven, alone and afraid ... but that living family members can act as a "proxy" in a "proxy sealing" that effectively sends a telegram to the deceased family member that extends a final offer to get in on a sealing and rejoin the family.
So the Mormon view of Heaven is an infinitely expansive place with sealed clumps of families and lone individuals floating around without anyone else in sight. Weird.
