in memorium

[Don Quixote]

This applies to all military be they air force, army, coast guard, marines or navy and to those at home firefighters, police and paramedics.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

One of my personal demons visited me last night.

I typed this with tears in my eyes for the loss of my brother. I should have used Gunny instead of sergeant but it was as if someone else was typing this


"Soldier stand your post," said the sergeant

I gathered my gear, helmet and rifle relieved the guard and stood my post until relieved

"Soldier stand your post," said the sergeant

I gathered my gear, helmet and rifle relieved the guard and stood my post until relieved

Day after day, night after night I took my turn and stood my post until relieved

I waited and watched until relieved

Day after day, night after night I took my turn and stood my post until relieved

A soldier's duty is to fight and sometimes to die

"Soldier stand your last post," said the sergeant

Now here I lie standing my last post.

Alone I may seem, but many are with me. They too stood their post and then their last post.


For my brother Lance Corporal Steven Hopwood USMC 10/1942 - 1/1967 - he stands his last post

 

[evince]

thats Beautiful

 

[Howey]

Someone wanna merge the five or six Memorial Day threads?

Mine was first

 

[Canceled.2014.1]

Respect, DQ.

Merge the others if needed. This one should stand alone.

Thank you, DQ.

 

[Howey]

Respect, DQ.

Merge the others if needed. This one should stand alone.

Thank you, DQ.

Why? Is it any more special than mine?

 

[Canceled.2014.1]

Why? Is it any more special than mine?

I think it is less likely to devolve into a flamefest.

Does it really matter? Why jump out there with the "Someone wanna merge the five or six Memorial Day threads? Mine was first"

I saw the post concerning your father. I respect that. Did he die in the military?

 

[Howey]

I think it is less likely to devolve into a flamefest.

Does it really matter? Why jump out there with the "Someone wanna merge the five or six Memorial Day threads? Mine was first"

I saw the post concerning your father. I respect that. Did he die in the military?

A. I would personally enjoy reading everyone honoring heroes they've known in one thread as opposed to many. (Barring 007's troll thread)

B. Whereas the literal meaning of Memorial Day is to honor those who died in the line of duty, a more contemporary thought is to use the day to honor those who served our country who are no longer with us.

Fields of poppies and all that...

C. My father served our country for 30 years, and our nation until the day he died.

The OP is touching and honorable, as was my post dedicated to my father.

My request to merge similar threads for all to enjoy was merely that.

What has become a flamefest is your work, noone else's.

 

[Steelplate]

My father....who served in Germany during WWII and finished up in Japan right afterward. I know he saw a lot of action, he alluded to as much, but refused to talk about it with me.

He passed away in 1981 at the age of 61...I was 17.

 

[Howey]

My father....who served in Germany during WWII and finished up in Japan right afterward. I know he saw a lot of action, he alluded to as much, but refused to talk about it with me.

He passed away in 1981 at the age of 61...I was 17.

God bless him. A true hero. My Dad passed in 1987 at 64.

 

[Canceled.2014.1]

A. I would personally enjoy reading everyone honoring heroes they've known in one thread as opposed to many. (Barring 007's troll thread)

B. Whereas the literal meaning of Memorial Day is to honor those who died in the line of duty, a more contemporary thought is to use the day to honor those who served our country who are no longer with us.

Fields of poppies and all that...

C. My father served our country for 30 years, and our nation until the day he died.

The OP is touching and honorable, as was my post dedicated to my father.

My request to merge similar threads for all to enjoy was merely that.

What has become a flamefest is your work, noone else's.

Much respect for your father.

If it was only about merging, then why the "Mine was first"?

It really doesn't matter though, does it? The holiday is all but over.

 

[evince]

My father....who served in Germany during WWII and finished up in Japan right afterward. I know he saw a lot of action, he alluded to as much, but refused to talk about it with me.

He passed away in 1981 at the age of 61...I was 17.

Wow dude that is one tuff age to lose your Dad.


sorry for your loss and so thankful of his service.

 

[Steelplate]

Wow dude that is one tuff age to lose your Dad.


sorry for your loss and so thankful of his service.

My Dad was dying from the time I was 12. He worked as an overhead crane operator in a steel fabrication plant. In his day, ventilation was not a big deal and all the welding fumes hung up in the rafters...right where he worked. His pulmonary doctor told my mom and him to sue, but back then, lawyers didn't do the "you only pay if you win" thing and they couldn't afford it.

Anyway, from the age of 12 till the age of 17, I watched my dad die a slow, horrible death. He went from a strapping 6'5" 280lb guy to a bag of bones in 5 years. He used to sleep kneeling over something because that was the only way he could breathe. Obviously, as his disease progressed, his mental state deteriorated. He became verbally and psychologically abusive to my Mom and I. It's hard to be angry at someone.so sick..after all it really wasn't his fault, but it didn't hurt any less....so I tended to stuff that anger and pain with whatever I could find...mostly booze and pot, but dabbled in coke(too expensive), and did LSD a few times.

It took a while, but I came around to accepting and forgiving him..
.that gave me more peace of mind than any substance ever could.

 

[evince]

My Dad was dying from the time I was 12. He worked as an overhead crane operator in a steel fabrication plant. In his day, ventilation was not a big deal and all the welding fumes hung up in the rafters...right where he worked. His pulmonary doctor told my mom and him to sue, but back then, lawyers didn't do the "you only pay if you win" thing and they couldn't afford it.

Anyway, from the age of 12 till the age of 17, I watched my dad die a slow, horrible death. He went from a strapping 6'5" 280lb guy to a bag of bones in 5 years. He used to sleep kneeling over something because that was the only way he could breathe. Obviously, as his disease progressed, his mental state deteriorated. He became verbally and psychologically abusive to my Mom and I. It's hard to be angry at someone.so sick..after all it really wasn't his fault, but it didn't hurt any less....so I tended to stuff that anger and pain with whatever I could find...mostly booze and pot, but dabbled in coke(too expensive), and did LSD a few times.

It took a while, but I came around to accepting and forgiving him..
.that gave me more peace of mind than any substance ever could.

The pain of a verbally abusive father is like no other.


I too had a father who did this.

Mine did not have the excuse of a brain altered by so many substances and physical pain.


Mine just self medicated with alcohol for reasons I dont even think he knew.


I have also forgiven mine and he is ten years gone.

He died right after 911.

His last years he suffered from a brain bleed that left him a shell of his former self and unable to remember much of anything beyond a few minutes.


I still will never understand why he treated me that way but I had to just write it off to being a weak person with an inability to understand the impact of his actions.


He was angry at the world for not being what he wanted it to be I guess.


I was just the whipping post.


The tearing of your soul must have been amplified by the fact that you cared so much for him and he was hurting so bad.

At least mine I could look at him and think "your a 6'2" strapping blonde white man with everything going for you yet you act like your being treated unfairly by life?"

Mine made his own pain.


I to this day have no idea what was in his head and why.


Its crazy too when your trying to recover from such crap as a child people dont want to here about it for obvious reasons yet the ONLY way through it is to talk about the reality that you were forced to keep quiet all your life.


Pain does make you stronger in ways but it sure aint any fun to process.


My dad was not a monster and in fact people loved him.

He had many friends who adored him.


I at least got to see some of that as an adult.


In the end it makes you a far deeping thinking person than most.


Less assuming about the lives of others.

 

[Don Quixote]

My Dad was dying from the time I was 12. He worked as an overhead crane operator in a steel fabrication plant. In his day, ventilation was not a big deal and all the welding fumes hung up in the rafters...right where he worked. His pulmonary doctor told my mom and him to sue, but back then, lawyers didn't do the "you only pay if you win" thing and they couldn't afford it.

Anyway, from the age of 12 till the age of 17, I watched my dad die a slow, horrible death. He went from a strapping 6'5" 280lb guy to a bag of bones in 5 years. He used to sleep kneeling over something because that was the only way he could breathe. Obviously, as his disease progressed, his mental state deteriorated. He became verbally and psychologically abusive to my Mom and I. It's hard to be angry at someone.so sick..after all it really wasn't his fault, but it didn't hurt any less....so I tended to stuff that anger and pain with whatever I could find...mostly booze and pot, but dabbled in coke(too expensive), and did LSD a few times.

It took a while, but I came around to accepting and forgiving him..
.that gave me more peace of mind than any substance ever could.

i still have not forgiven my father or adoptive father

my father deserted us a few years after i was born

my adoptive father molested my brothers and me

i know that i need to forgive them and myself, but it is difficult when i can only remember what they did only part of the time.

my childhood memories are slowly starting to come back, but then they hide again...still i keep trying

i have trouble forgiving my mother for the poison she poured into our ears about my blood father, but i keep trying

 

[007]

The pain of a verbally abusive father is like no other.


I too had a father who did this.

Mine did not have the excuse of a brain altered by so many substances and physical pain.


Mine just self medicated with alcohol for reasons I dont even think he knew.


I have also forgiven mine and he is ten years gone.

He died right after 911.

His last years he suffered from a brain bleed that left him a shell of his former self and unable to remember much of anything beyond a few minutes.


I still will never understand why he treated me that way but I had to just write it off to being a weak person with an inability to understand the impact of his actions.


He was angry at the world for not being what he wanted it to be I guess.


I was just the whipping post.


The tearing of your soul must have been amplified by the fact that you cared so much for him and he was hurting so bad.

At least mine I could look at him and think "your a 6'2" strapping blonde white man with everything going for you yet you act like your being treated unfairly by life?"

Mine made his own pain.


I to this day have no idea what was in his head and why.


Its crazy too when your trying to recover from such crap as a child people dont want to here about it for obvious reasons yet the ONLY way through it is to talk about the reality that you were forced to keep quiet all your life.


Pain does make you stronger in ways but it sure aint any fun to process.


My dad was not a monster and in fact people loved him.

He had many friends who adored him.


I at least got to see some of that as an adult.


In the end it makes you a far deeping thinking person than most.


Less assuming about the lives of others.

Verbally abusive, pah!!
My father used to kick the living shit out of the old bird.
Once stabbed her in the back with a pair of scissors.
She gave as good back mind!!
She stabbed him first!!!
I had a fun upbringing!!
At age 12 I ensured he would give us no more trouble!!

 

[Don Quixote]

The pain of a verbally abusive father is like no other.


I too had a father who did this.

Mine did not have the excuse of a brain altered by so many substances and physical pain.


Mine just self medicated with alcohol for reasons I dont even think he knew.


I have also forgiven mine and he is ten years gone.

He died right after 911.

His last years he suffered from a brain bleed that left him a shell of his former self and unable to remember much of anything beyond a few minutes.


I still will never understand why he treated me that way but I had to just write it off to being a weak person with an inability to understand the impact of his actions.


He was angry at the world for not being what he wanted it to be I guess.


I was just the whipping post.


The tearing of your soul must have been amplified by the fact that you cared so much for him and he was hurting so bad.

At least mine I could look at him and think "your a 6'2" strapping blonde white man with everything going for you yet you act like your being treated unfairly by life?"

Mine made his own pain.


I to this day have no idea what was in his head and why.


Its crazy too when your trying to recover from such crap as a child people dont want to here about it for obvious reasons yet the ONLY way through it is to talk about the reality that you were forced to keep quiet all your life.


Pain does make you stronger in ways but it sure aint any fun to process.


My dad was not a monster and in fact people loved him.

He had many friends who adored him.


I at least got to see some of that as an adult.


In the end it makes you a far deeping thinking person than most.


Less assuming about the lives of others.

you are a braver person than me

however, my wife and shrink are helping

i know why i hate myself, i must have deserved what they did to me only i did not. i just have trouble believing that. when i was 19 i drank some cyanide i took from the chem lab...it was almost enough, but just not quite, i died in the er, but they brought me back. there are still times today when i wish that they had not, but now i have a wife, 4 children and 6 grandchildren that for some reason, known only to them, love me and i will neither desert them nor teach them that there is an easy way out. i guess that i am a creature of duty, that hopes to learn to enjoy life

 

[Don Quixote]

why are there so many right leaning people who pretend they dont vote republican?

ask them

i used to vote republican, but not anymore. the party just got too weird for me.

 

[evince]

You dont really need fo forgive them for what they did to you.

You can try forgiving them for being flawed Human beings with an inability to act in caring manner.


what they did doesnt deserve forgiving.


what they did was foul and weak.


The person that they were was horribly flawed.


at some point your step dad was a child.

He was likely molested himself by someone.

some people are not strong enough to stand up to what was done to them.

YOU WERE!


Your special that way.


I have never done to a child anything bad that was done to me.


I am a better human being than the people who harmed me.


So are you Don.


You are a better human being than they could muster in life.

they failed to make you like them.


Your more powerful than them or their actions.


they tried to make you a victim so they could fulfill their sick and twisted percieved needs.

They failed in making you a victim.


their perpitraitors succedded in making them victims.

They are your lessors.


I have no doubt you will easily be able to forgive the child they were who was abused and had their humanity destroyed.


the duplicitous monster who actually harmed you needs no forgiving.


as for you mother she likely thought she was making you see you were better off with your new dad.

She likely did not know you were being attacked by what she thought was a good choice.


Her intent was not harm Ill bet.


Only you know for sure.


I had always seen my Mom as by safty place.


Until my dad died.


I then somehow had the revelation that she would sit quietly while my father did his post drinking show at my expense.


I realized that she allowed him ( out of fear) to target me.


Yeah the gift that just keeps on giving huh?


such is this type of abuse.


Your just here to as a whipping post.

Your just here to pleasure me.

Your pain and terror mean nothing.


I am trying hard to forigve my Mom and was dumbfounded I never thought about it that way until my dad was gone.


The hard part is forgiving someone who you cant explain your pain to in a way they can truely understand.

My mother was the apple of her daddys eye.

she has NO idea how to process what she allowed to happen.


I would have torn any human being a new one who tried to talk to my child that way.


I have no doubts about it.


I protected my older brother from my dad.

I even protected my mother from my dad.

No one protected me.


In retrospect it helped me realise how strong and moral I was compared to others.


They could not make you into them.


You rose above them and screamed to the world "THIS WILL NOT STAND".


I will NOT accpet your twisted world and I will not participate.


Your the golden crop.


Your the best man has to offer.


They could not destroy you.

 

[evince]

Verbally abusive, pah!!
My father used to kick the living shit out of the old bird.
Once stabbed her in the back with a pair of scissors.
She gave as good back mind!!
She stabbed him first!!!
I had a fun upbringing!!
At age 12 I ensured he would give us no more trouble!!

It sound like a very sad way to grow up.


tell us more.


remember though that minimizing the pain others lived through does not exsault you pain to a higher level.


that is abuser thinking stuck in you brain

 

[evince]

you are a braver person than me

however, my wife and shrink are helping

i know why i hate myself, i must have deserved what they did to me only i did not. i just have trouble believing that. when i was 19 i drank some cyanide i took from the chem lab...it was almost enough, but just not quite, i died in the er, but they brought me back. there are still times today when i wish that they had not, but now i have a wife, 4 children and 6 grandchildren that for some reason, known only to them, love me and i will neither desert them nor teach them that there is an easy way out. i guess that i am a creature of duty, that hopes to learn to enjoy life

They love you for the very reasons your abuser didnt love you.

Because you are kind and understanding.

Because you are what they saw as weak.


You are what is finest and best about man.


You look at another human being and seek to understand their pain even though the pain that swirls arround your own life by NO doing of your own is so very deep.


You are compassion

you are love


You are the finest things human kind can offer.

You know that deep down in some little corner of your soul.


Im so glad that you are here.

Im so glad that even though they almost got you that they didnt succede in destroying you.


the strength in me that you see is right inside you too.

It just manivested it self in a different manner.


when you have those dark thoughts about there is something about you that deserved the abuse you think of me if it will help.

You think about the fact if YOU deserved it than that means I deserved it.


Please dont do that to me.


I did not deserve it.

neither did you.


You were strong enough to fight it and the proof is you are still here.


You are showing the world what real love looks like.


If this will help when you have those dark thoughts imagine me giving you my best drill sargent rant (wow my dad is still in there huh) about how you are the golden crop and no human being ever had the right to harm you in any way.


That child that was you who was harmed deserved to be treated like your own children.

Those children would not have deserved to be harmed any more than the child that is you deserved it.

try this little trick on for size.

Its a little bit of self parenting.

every time you have one of those bad memmories or you think a bad thought about yourself say out loud to your self if you can " I love you".


The physical act of saying and hearing it out loud could be cathartic and it helps train you brain to layer over the self derogetory thoughts with reprograming.


self doubt is more normal than peopel like you and me thought in our lives.

Everyone does it to some extent we just have some programing that tries to confirm that self doubt.

this reprograms that mechanism back to reality.

You dont even have to believe you love your self for it to work over time.


You reprogram yourself enough and you may notice you begin to believe it after some time.