Earl Buttz
Amerikan
You know what makes me sick? You know what makes me so angry I could tie Harry Reed to a lightning rod and let him discover electricity?
It's these daggone high fallutin city fellers who think they know all there is about science. They come up with all sorts of laughable stuff. Like time gets slower as yall go faster. Well hell if that was true Dale Earnhardt woulda started every race dead last and then they try tellin me my great, great, great, great grandpappy was a monkey, though that could eplain explain all that hair growen on the back of Mabels Maw.
WAKE UP AMERICA! Some of the greatest scientific discoveries ever made were made by rednecks. These are important and usefull discoveries to and I want to pay honor to these scientist.
My ole Pal Dub Johnson - Who discovered by licking a frozen piece of sheet metal that all tongue prints are unique.
Then there's the late Ruben Dillhoff who gave his life discoverin that Elephants are the only animals that can't jump (Sad too, he saved for years for that safari).
and what about good ole Jimbo Smith who discovered a cockroach can live for about two weeks after you pull its head off?
Then there was the genious of the Hair salon Luella Simpson who discovered fingenails grow about 4 times faster than toenails. Manicurist the world over owe their livin to that woman.
Then there's my teenage daughter Bobby Sue who discovered you can't kill yourself by holding your breath. You have any idear how many concerned parents that's helped?
But do you ever hear about these great scientist? No, you just hear about fellas like Newton, Galileo and some Jewish fellar called Einstein but do you ever hear about Dub Johnson? Oh hell no.
It bout makes a fella wanna drown a bag full of kittens!
and thats alls I got to say bout that.
Buttz out!
It's these daggone high fallutin city fellers who think they know all there is about science. They come up with all sorts of laughable stuff. Like time gets slower as yall go faster. Well hell if that was true Dale Earnhardt woulda started every race dead last and then they try tellin me my great, great, great, great grandpappy was a monkey, though that could eplain explain all that hair growen on the back of Mabels Maw.
WAKE UP AMERICA! Some of the greatest scientific discoveries ever made were made by rednecks. These are important and usefull discoveries to and I want to pay honor to these scientist.
My ole Pal Dub Johnson - Who discovered by licking a frozen piece of sheet metal that all tongue prints are unique.
Then there's the late Ruben Dillhoff who gave his life discoverin that Elephants are the only animals that can't jump (Sad too, he saved for years for that safari).
and what about good ole Jimbo Smith who discovered a cockroach can live for about two weeks after you pull its head off?
Then there was the genious of the Hair salon Luella Simpson who discovered fingenails grow about 4 times faster than toenails. Manicurist the world over owe their livin to that woman.
Then there's my teenage daughter Bobby Sue who discovered you can't kill yourself by holding your breath. You have any idear how many concerned parents that's helped?
But do you ever hear about these great scientist? No, you just hear about fellas like Newton, Galileo and some Jewish fellar called Einstein but do you ever hear about Dub Johnson? Oh hell no.
It bout makes a fella wanna drown a bag full of kittens!
and thats alls I got to say bout that.
Buttz out!
