Hey Charver....

N

NOVA

U. S. NAVY Veteran
So tell me mate.....what the hell news source should us yanks rely on for unbiased new about the UK.....The bbc, The Telegraph, The Guardian, Independent News, The Sun.......?????

Thats twice I got burned believing some UK rag and then you guys tell me its rubbish..... is their a reliable news outfit in the UK ?
 
As in America, take a selection. Start with the BBC then the Guardian, Telegraph and Independent. If you find that a bit too much check out the Beano and the Dandy.
 
Lowaicue said:
As in America, take a selection. Start with the BBC then the Guardian, Telegraph and Independent. If you find that a bit too much check out the Beano and the Dandy.
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LOL. The Beano has just the correct mix of text and illustrations for someone of Blabo's intellectual prowess. He'd never get past Page 3 of any of the tabloids.
 
The British media is both very good and hideously bad.

The 'Red Top' tabloids sometimes contain a grain of truth but it is often then distorted and warped into sensationalist rubbish. The other tabloids like to think of themselves as 'more serious' but inevitably reproduce the same stories as their red top cousins, only with slightly longer words and, often, a more deep lying moralistic tone. If you want proper news then look to the 'big' papers - Guardian, Times, Telegraph and Independent.

Here's a brief guide.

RED TOPS
The Sun - Murdoch owned. Supports whichever political party is in power, or likely to win an election. Full of rubbish and women with their breasts out.
The Mirror - Labour leaning. Full of the same stuff as The Sun but with fewer tits.
The Star - Right wing, populist, and increasingly overtly nationalist. Not sure about the relative tit count.

OTHER TABLOIDS
Daily Mail - Right wing and Tory. Mainly focussed on how foreigners are ruining the country. Also spends exorbitant amounts of time listing things which both cause and cure cancer.
The Express - Competing to be more right-wing than the Mail. Less bothered about cancer but guaranteed to run every edition with a story featuring new intrigue about, the long-dead, Princess Diana.

THE BIG PAPERS
Guardian - Left leaning
Telegraph - Right leaning
Independent - Left leaning
Times - Right leaning
(as Low said, compare a feature from each of the big papers and you'll probably have a better idea of what is an actual story and what is a politically driven, scaremongering rant dressed up as fact).

Oh and there's the Financial Times as well but people can only read that if they own a bowler hat and a black umbrella.
 
charver said:
The British media is both very good and hideously bad.

The 'Red Top' tabloids sometimes contain a grain of truth but it is often then distorted and warped into sensationalist rubbish. The other tabloids like to think of themselves as 'more serious' but inevitably reproduce the same stories as their red top cousins, only with slightly longer words and, often, a more deep lying moralistic tone. If you want proper news then look to the 'big' papers - Guardian, Times, Telegraph and Independent.

Here's a brief guide.

RED TOPS
The Sun - Murdoch owned. Supports whichever political party is in power, or likely to win an election. Full of rubbish and women with their breasts out.
The Mirror - Labour leaning. Full of the same stuff as The Sun but with fewer tits.
The Star - Right wing, populist, and increasingly overtly nationalist. Not sure about the relative tit count.

OTHER TABLOIDS
Daily Mail - Right wing and Tory. Mainly focussed on how foreigners are ruining the country. Also spends exorbitant amounts of time listing things which both cause and cure cancer.
The Express - Competing to be more right-wing than the Mail. Less bothered about cancer but guaranteed to run every edition with a story featuring new intrigue about, the long-dead, Princess Diana.

THE BIG PAPERS
Guardian - Left leaning
Telegraph - Right leaning
Independent - Left leaning
Times - Right leaning
(as Low said, compare a feature from each of the big papers and you'll probably have a better idea of what is an actual story and what is a politically driven, scaremongering rant dressed up as fact).

Oh and there's the Financial Times as well but people can only read that if they own a bowler hat and a black umbrella.
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Can I read the Financial Times if I own a bowler hat and an umbrella, or do I actually have to be wearing the hat and holding the umbrella while I read it? I'm never sure about these things.
 
WinterBorn said:
Can I read the Financial Times if I own a bowler hat and an umbrella, or do I actually have to be wearing the hat and holding the umbrella while I read it? I'm never sure about these things.
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Etiquette states that, providing you are not in a public place, the FT may be read sans bowler hat and umbrella as long as the hat is jauntily placed atop a hallway hat-stand.

In public the hat must be worn at all times. At all times, sir.
 
Damn Yankee said:
Charver can't get past Page 3...
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That's right, SM. First thing every weekday morning i'm down at the newsagents to grab a copy of the Sun, before cracking one off to the lovely lady on page 3. It has to be said that the newsagent is somewhat less enthusiastic though.

If only some white coated genius would invent a device where a curious chap could request pictures, or, even better, video footage of a wide selection of different sized and multi-coloured ladies (although i've heard some prefer gentlemen) and it would be delivered to you, forthwith, through some sort of viewing screen.

Sadly, i dare say that day will never come as scientists busy themselves with inventing colour televisions and portable record players.
 
charver said:
That's right, SM. First thing every weekday morning i'm down at the newsagents to grab a copy of the Sun, before cracking one off to the lovely lady on page 3. It has to be said that the newsagent is somewhat less enthusiastic though.
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Perhaps he's tired of watching you sputter all over his car park. *shrug*
 
charver said:
Etiquette states that, providing you are not in a public place, the FT may be read sans bowler hat and umbrella as long as the hat is jauntily placed atop a hallway hat-stand.

In public the hat must be worn at all times. At all times, sir.
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And the umbrella must be carried under the left arm with the pointy bit behind you unless being used to shelter a lady from refuse being tossed into the streets from upper windows.
 
Damocles said:
And the umbrella must be carried under the left arm with the pointy bit behind you unless being used to shelter a lady from refuse being tossed into the streets from upper windows.
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They no longer use buckets to dump their sewage on the street below. Most of the old buildings have been fitted with pipes that exit the outside of the building and then proceed to the street level and then below it. ;)
 
charver said:
Etiquette states that, providing you are not in a public place, the FT may be read sans bowler hat and umbrella as long as the hat is jauntily placed atop a hallway hat-stand.

In public the hat must be worn at all times. At all times, sir.
Click to expand...

The umbrella, when unfurled, is an extremely convenient mode of transport over the roof tops of London. One can wave ones FT at the little chimney sweeps as one passes.
 
I will forever envision Low IQ as Mary Poppins, with his umbrella floating just above the rooftops, complete with hoop skirt and full length, white, frilly undergarments.
 
charver said:
Etiquette states that, providing you are not in a public place, the FT may be read sans bowler hat and umbrella as long as the hat is jauntily placed atop a hallway hat-stand.

In public the hat must be worn at all times. At all times, sir.
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Is a fedora acceptable?
 
\(\(\/)/)/ said:
Absolutely not. The fedora is the mark of a spiv.
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images
 
Damn Yankee said:
I will forever envision Low IQ as Mary Poppins, with his umbrella floating just above the rooftops, complete with hoop skirt and full length, white, frilly undergarments.
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You have obviously never been to London where the umbrella is one of the most popular forms of transport. Without it one would be forever bumping into various hideous reincarnations of Dick Van Dyke saying, 'Watcha, guv.'
 
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