Another warning to the Conservative Republican Christians About Halloween

[AProudLefty]

Leftism/Liberalism is a mental disorder and must be stopped. Warn and teach the children.

To be continued...

[Guno צְבִי]

Tips for good christians on Halloween


1. Wait for unsaved children to come to your door and hurl a bucket full of warm lamb's blood (goat or dog blood can be substituted later in the night if you run out) all over their hair and faces. Shout - "I plead the power of the Blood of the Perfect Lamb over you! Take that! FOUL DEMON!"

2. Dress up as the freshly resurrected Christ. To make your costume as realistic as possible: (a) use your mother's sewing needles to poke holes in your hands and stomach; (b) wear bluish makeup to look like someone who has been dead and lying around in a cave for a couple of days; and (c) stuff five pounds of week-old hamburger meat in your pockets to smell like rotting flesh. Sneak up behind people, grab them, turn them around, look them in they eyes and scream, "Why have you forsaken me!" And then slap them very hard across the face with a palm-full of rancid hamburger meat. It will usually scare the living Hell out of little children, and they are sure to remember their first experience with Jesus for the rest of their pathetic lives.

3. Offer to exchange your giant treat bag with the small bag of an unsaved child - when he gets home, surprise! BIBLES!

[ThatOwlWoman]

Tips for good christians on Halloween


1. Wait for unsaved children to come to your door and hurl a bucket full of warm lamb's blood (goat or dog blood can be substituted later in the night if you run out) all over their hair and faces. Shout - "I plead the power of the Blood of the Perfect Lamb over you! Take that! FOUL DEMON!"

2. Dress up as the freshly resurrected Christ. To make your costume as realistic as possible: (a) use your mother's sewing needles to poke holes in your hands and stomach; (b) wear bluish makeup to look like someone who has been dead and lying around in a cave for a couple of days; and (c) stuff five pounds of week-old hamburger meat in your pockets to smell like rotting flesh. Sneak up behind people, grab them, turn them around, look them in they eyes and scream, "Why have you forsaken me!" And then slap them very hard across the face with a palm-full of rancid hamburger meat. It will usually scare the living Hell out of little children, and they are sure to remember their first experience with Jesus for the rest of their pathetic lives.

3. Offer to exchange your giant treat bag with the small bag of an unsaved child - when he gets home, surprise! BIBLES!

Okay. I admit to laughing out loud. I'll try to remember to say some Hail Marys tomorrow.

[Matt Dillon]

^I take it back, guno IS 'tarded.

As a rebuttal:

Give the trick-or-treaters gefilte fish and matzoh.



guno is a tard.

[Jack]

I don't think 'Christians' honor Halloween.

[Stone]

I don't think 'Christians' honor Halloween.

We dont anymore. Wife wont have anything to do with it.

[Jack]

We dont anymore. Wife wont have anything to do with it.

Yeah. Instead of a fun Holiday for kids, it's turned into a 'Political' issue. (A Day for Satan-Worshippers)

[leaningright]

I don't think 'Christians' honor Halloween.

It was my mom’s favorite “holiday.” There was no more Christian lady than she was.

[Jack]

It was my mom’s favorite “holiday.” There was no more Christian lady than she was.

No more 'fun'.

[leaningright]

No more 'fun'.

We’ll, our porch is decorated and I’ll have the mid-size snickers bought and the popcorn balls made for the kiddos by the 31st. We’ll have fun anyway.

[Jack]

We’ll, our porch is decorated and I’ll have the mid-size snickers bought and the popcorn balls made for the kiddos by the 31st. We’ll have fun anyway.

[Into the Night]

Tips for good christians on Halloween

1. Wait for unsaved children to come to your door and hurl a bucket full of warm lamb's blood (goat or dog blood can be substituted later in the night if you run out) all over their hair and faces. Shout - "I plead the power of the Blood of the Perfect Lamb over you! Take that! FOUL DEMON!"

A Christian performing an old Jewish rite???

2. Dress up as the freshly resurrected Christ. To make your costume as realistic as possible: (a) use your mother's sewing needles to poke holes in your hands and stomach; (b) wear bluish makeup to look like someone who has been dead and lying around in a cave for a couple of days; and (c) stuff five pounds of week-old hamburger meat in your pockets to smell like rotting flesh. Sneak up behind people, grab them, turn them around, look them in they eyes and scream, "Why have you forsaken me!" And then slap them very hard across the face with a palm-full of rancid hamburger meat. It will usually scare the living Hell out of little children, and they are sure to remember their first experience with Jesus for the rest of their pathetic lives.

What makes you think a resurrected body is rotting??

3. Offer to exchange your giant treat bag with the small bag of an unsaved child - when he gets home, surprise! BIBLES!

Play the trick on that house. They earned it.

[Into the Night]

I don't think 'Christians' honor Halloween.

Why?

[Into the Night]

We dont anymore. Wife wont have anything to do with it.

No kids in the neighborhood?

[Into the Night]

Yeah. Instead of a fun Holiday for kids, it's turned into a 'Political' issue. (A Day for Satan-Worshippers)

Some have turned it into a religious issue. Moron fundamentalists, mostly. Yup. Christianity has it's fundamentalists, just like any religion.