TOMMY ATKINS (98) IS IN BIG TROUBLE

**cancel2 2022** · 01-20-2018, 04:31 AM

Solicitors4U say they have identified a soldier committing serious crimes including, but not exclusively limited to, invasions of safe space, causing offence and inciting racially-motivated violence.

The incident allegedly took place in Egypt in 1942, and is shown in the attached photo. Atkins can be seen approaching a German soldier in a clearly offensive and racist manner, having previously conspired with others to try to set his tank on fire. The German in question, identified as Siegfried Schmidt, is evidently distressed at the prospect of the invasion of his safe space, namely his Panzer III tank. A spokesman for Solicitors4U, Jerome Carbine, said Schmidt’s descendants, including the 4 widows and 20 children of his grandson Mohammed Abdul Butthurti Al Benefiti, had been tracked down and identified, and had been persuaded to seek redress from Atkins for these serious crimes.

“We are sure this is just the tip of the pyramid, “ continued Carbine. “Clearly the photo also points to issues such as climate change and the predominance of white, male, heterosexual stereotypes in the scene depicted. We also came across widespread incidence of colonial oppression in this particular theatre of activity. It seems that large numbers of South Africans and Australians were people-trafficked by their colonial slave masters to fight this war in appalling conditions. Not one of these people for example were issued with personal barbecues, nor had they attended classes to study Mein Kampf. German prisoners were at no time given the option of German food and a choice of accommodation types. “

A spokesman for Atkins (98), still paying 500 pounds a week to a private centre for long-term rehabilitation and treatment for wounds incurred fighting for his country, said Atkins denied wanting to take the tank, saying he had always been sceptical about any claims made for German vehicles, and maintained the smoke in the picture was in fact from the exhaust.

Atkins’ Labour Member of Parliament was said to be on a prolonged visit to the children’s home next door, and was hence unavailable for comment.

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