Engineering Jokes

[cancel2 2022]

Why do computer scientists/electronic circuit engineers always confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec


What's the difference between a civil engineer and an aerospace engineer?

Aerospace engineer's build weapons, civil engineers build targets!


How many software customer-support people does it take to change a light bulb ?

What makes you think the problem is with the light bulb? Have you tried reinstalling your house's electrical wiring?


A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: :Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says "You must be a manager."
"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

[MAGA MAN]

Funny stuff. Ever notice that the cobbler's kids have the worst shoes?

Where I went to college the mechanical engineering building had the worst heating system on campus. One room would be 95F and the one next to it would be 60F.

The parking lot for the civil engineering building had potholes large enough to swallow small children.

My dad, and electrical engineer, wired up outlets in a converted porch using zip cord and $1.29 push through outlets.