Conservatives vs liberals

[Stringfellow Hawk]

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.
The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.
He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?"
She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."
Her father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence."
If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."

[BidenPresident]

Who did you steal that text from?

[Stringfellow Hawk]

Liberals have become the radical party and their President needs cue cards for the easy stuff

[ThatOwlWoman]

Plagiarism is as stupid as the OP plagiarizer's mindless point of view.

[Life is Golden]

As the hit dogs begin hollering.

[T. A. Gardner]

A conservative is walking along a lake. He sees a man in the lake who's obviously drowning. He runs to a nearby house, where he knocks on the door and gets the homeowner to lend him some rope to save the man.
Running back to the lake he tosses the rope to the man. It lands several feet short of him. The conservative shouts, "Swim for it!"

A liberal is walking along a lake. The liberal (we can't use gender pronouns here because that is offensive) sees a person in the lake who is differentially abled at swimming. Recognizing that that person needs help, the liberal runs to a nearby house where the liberal rummages through the garage taking a rope and lifejacket.
The liberal throws the life jacket to the person in the lake with the rope tied to it. The person in the lake grabs onto the life jacket.
The liberal drops their end of the rope and waves at the person, "You don't have to thank me!" then walks off whistling a happy tune looking for another good deed to do.

[AProudLefty]

A conservative is walking along a lake. He sees a man in the lake who's obviously drowning. He runs to a nearby house, where he knocks on the door and gets the homeowner to lend him some rope to save the man.
Running back to the lake he tosses the rope to the man. It lands several feet short of him. The conservative shouts, "Swim for it!"

A liberal is walking along a lake. The liberal (we can't use gender pronouns here because that is offensive) sees a person in the lake who is differentially abled at swimming. Recognizing that that person needs help, the liberal runs to a nearby house where the liberal rummages through the garage taking a rope and lifejacket.
The liberal throws the life jacket to the person in the lake with the rope tied to it. The person in the lake grabs onto the life jacket.
The liberal drops their end of the rope and waves at the person, "You don't have to thank me!" then walks off whistling a happy tune looking for another good deed to do.

Lame. 0/10.

[Lightbringer]

Plagiarism is as stupid as the OP plagiarizer's mindless point of view.

Hold on a second, I did this with my kids and their allowance. The quickest way to show them their teachers are wrong is to give them just a wee bit of real world hurt.

[Stringfellow Hawk]

Yes liberals would shit their pants if we redistributed grades among students

[T. A. Gardner]

Lame. 0/10.

No, you just drew the wrong conclusion from the story because you didn't think about it.

[NiftyNiblick]

If we're going to start threads this stupid, there's no point in even having a forum.

[T. A. Gardner]

If we're going to start threads this stupid, there's no point in even having a forum.

You've been here long enough to know this thread doesn't even approach the tip of the stupidberg...

[Matt Dillon]

Who did you steal that text from?

Smells like a Facebook chain letter.

[AProudLefty]

No, you just drew the wrong conclusion from the story because you didn't think about it.

Lame.

[T. A. Gardner]

Lame.

True, not lame.