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Thread: Why We Love To Hate

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    No hater could simply snap their fingers and say they are going to stop hating and then do it.

    It's more complicated that that.

    Hating is a habit.

    Humans are creatures of habit.

    We like to do things the same way on a regular basis.

    It would be impossible for a hater to suddenly become a non-hater.

    It's not so simple.

    It would take a commitment.

    That would require a resolve to recognize the undesirable habit exists, coupled with a desire to change it, eliminate it.

    The best way to change an undesirable habit is to replace it with a desirable one.

    In the case of hatred, the obvious desirable habit is love.

    Finding love for someone who has been hated is very difficult.

    Especially if one has a legitimate criticism of the hated person.

    The trick is forgiveness.

    Even if someone has done something disagreeable, or aspires to a disagreeable politics, it is possible to forgive.

    Simply let them off the hook. They are not going to change. Hatred really only hurts the hater, not the hated, so it's really all in the mind of the hater.

    It is OK to disagree without hatred.

    It is also OK to forgive without hatred. You can't change them. Hating them isn't gonna change them. All hatred does is gathers up negative energy in the mind of the hater.

    Now really, who would want that? No non-hater would choose that.

    Only haters take on hatred. They consume it. And in so doing, they get consumed by it.

    Too bad.

    Only if they decide they want to stop hating can they begin the process to rid themselves of hatred.

    And only after they have done so, can they know the beauty of life without hatred.
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    One might get the idea from watching 'shoot em up' movies that revenge is justice. (It is not.)

    Somebody does something bad to you, then you gotta hit 'em back, right?

    Fair is fair, right?

    And until you get that chance for revenge, then the thing to do is hold on to that hurt. Let your blood boil until you finally get the chance to 'get even,' right?

    And, of course, you can't be happy or satisfied until you get your revenge. You cannot rest easy as long as you know this wrong had not been righted, right?

    Is that how revenge works? Once the score is evened up, then you can rest easy and be happy?

    Sorry. That is not how it works at all.

    After internalizing all that negative energy, the habit of hatred is well established.

    Two wrongs do not make a right. The memory of all those negative thoughts in planning the revenge will not go away after the revenge has been exacted. That bad energy, haunting the mind is why two wrongs do not make a right.

    It is impossible to harbor bad energy and be at peace.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PoliTalker View Post
    One might get the idea from watching 'shoot em up' movies that revenge is justice. (It is not.)

    Somebody does something bad to you, then you gotta hit 'em back, right?

    Fair is fair, right?

    And until you get that chance for revenge, then the thing to do is hold on to that hurt. Let your blood boil until you finally get the chance to 'get even,' right?

    And, of course, you can't be happy or satisfied until you get your revenge. You cannot rest easy as long as you know this wrong had not been righted, right?

    Is that how revenge works? Once the score is evened up, then you can rest easy and be happy?

    Sorry. That is not how it works at all.

    After internalizing all that negative energy, the habit of hatred is well established.

    Two wrongs do not make a right. The memory of all those negative thoughts in planning the revenge will not go away after the revenge has been exacted. That bad energy, haunting the mind is why two wrongs do not make a right.

    It is impossible to harbor bad energy and be at peace.
    Culture not race.

    Am I white and violent?

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    From the OP link:

    "Bonds of Hatred Come at a Cost

    Though there are some bonding benefits to spewing negativity about other people, don’t try to use this tactic to make friends because its risks far outweigh any good that comes from it. Be aware of these potential consequences of speaking poorly about others:

    To know if someone else dislikes the same person as you, one of you has to make the first move and say something negative. This can come at a serious cost to your reputation of people around you if they do not agree with your negative opinions. "

    This often separates liberals from conservatives. A good liberal who prefers to be in the company of other good people will not want to associate with a hateful conservative.

    But if a newcomer does not spew hatred, he/she will be more welcomed.

    People who respect others are more likely to want to be in the company of friends who also respect others.

    And they are less likely to want to associate with the disrespectful.
    Personal Ignore Policy PIP: I like civil discourse. I will give you all the respect in the world if you respect me. Mouth off to me, or express overt racism, you will be PERMANENTLY Ignore Listed. Zero tolerance. No exceptions. I'll never read a word you write, even if quoted by another, nor respond to you, nor participate in your threads. ... Ignore the shallow. Cherish the thoughtful. Long Live Civil Discourse, Mutual Respect, and Good Debate! ps: Feel free to adopt my PIP. It works well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PoliTalker View Post
    Ever wonder why this forum is so nasty?

    "People want a scapegoat

    When you are struggling, whether it’s problems at work, low self-esteem, conflicts in your relationships, etc., it feels much better to funnel your negative energy into blaming someone else than to confront your own role in your problems. A lot of people join hate groups because it allows them to funnel the blame for all of their problems into another group of people while being supported by a group of people who share their beliefs and make them feel like they belong.

    They’re lonely and seeking connections, even hateful ones

    Many other people join hate groups because it fills their need for friendship and belonging. You don’t need to do or be anything special, all you have to do is be negative towards other people. It feels easy. Likewise, some people find it easier to make connections by putting others down and seeing who agrees than to prove to people that they are interesting and valuable companions.

    They fear the unknown

    When someone new enters a group, particularly if they are in a position of influence, many people immediately begin gossiping negative things about the person because they fear how that individual will change their group dynamics. Sharing hatred toward the new person is a way for the existing group to strengthen their bonds in defensive against the outsider.

    Their insecurities get the best of them


    Hatred also surfaces when people are highly insecure. Often, they’ll compare themselves to other people and when they come to the conclusion that the other person may be better than them or possesses traits that they don’t want to acknowledge that they also share, people may speak out against that person to project their anxiety onto them.

    Hatred defines social lines

    Humans desire structure and certainty in their social lives. To establish that, people naturally divide into in-groups (social circles where everyone feel like they belong with one another) and out-groups (people who exist outside of social circles and are typically not welcomed into them). When people declare their dislike for others, it helps people understand the boundaries between social circles. This is a powerful motivator for people to form bonds because it satisfies their need to feel connected to others.

    Mutual dislike evokes a stronger response than mutual like

    In one study, people were shown a video of two people having a conversation in which the man is politely hitting on the woman. After being asked if they liked or disliked the man, they were told they were going to meet people who shared their opinion of them and asked how likely they were going to get along with the person they meet. People who had a negative opinion of the man were far more likely to say they would get along well with someone who shared their negative opinion than those who had a positive opinion.

    Sharing hatred can be an expression of vulnerability

    Research shows that to form lasting, intimate bonds with people, you have to be vulnerable with them–that is you have to share your authentic, unfiltered feelings. Instead of being negative toward another person because of the internal struggles described above, you may share that you hate someone for a valid, personal reason such as they hurt you or hurt someone and/or something you care about. This instance is a moment of vulnerability because you are sharing a difficult experience which can lead others to hate the other person on your behalf and bond with you."

    The Science of Hatred


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    As usual, Pollyanna is full of theories, all of which he/she/it pulls dierectly out of his/her/its ass.

    Those of us who hate were simply born with the inclination and capabilities to do it.
    Who would know better than I? Pollyanna? I don't think so.
    Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Samuel Johnson, 1775
    Religion....is the opiate of the people. Karl Marx, 1848
    Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose. Kris Kristofferson, 1969

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    Quote Originally Posted by NiftyNiblick View Post
    As usual, Pollyanna is full of theories
    Agree on that. The way children think.

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    Polyp Talker is one of the biggest hater hypocrite douchebags that ever walked the face of the earth.

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    It's easy to hate. But it's not very rewarding.

    What if somebody actually does something bad to you? Do you seek revenge? Why.

    Revenge doesn't do anything for the seeker. It does something bad to the target, but that doesn't do anything good for the seeker. Many who believe in revenge say it makes them feel better about what was done. But that is a shallow way to feel better. And it comes with baggage. There is always the guilt of knowing that doing bad things to other people is bad energy.

    The best way for people to conduct themselves is to not have any bad energy with other people.

    If wronged by another, the best thing to do about it is to forgive.

    And that doesn't have to be said to the other person. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. Nothing need be said at all. Once there is forgiveness in the heart, the bad energy is gone.

    But for those seeking revenge, the bad energy lingers. Bad energy causes stress and illness. Until that revenge is exacted, the desire for it hurts the seeker. And afterwards, there is the guilt to live with. Revenge seekers may feel they have gotten even, but really what they have done has been to perpetuate something that is difficult to feel proud of. Not everyone is impressed with revenge, so it can't be shared without wondering if others think less of the revenge seeker for doing that bad thing.

    Two wrongs do not make a right. That's why revenge is wrong.

    Desiring revenge hurts the one desiring it, not the target. The target probably doesn't give things another thought. It is the revenge-seeker who harbors ill will and bad energy.

    What a waste of a perfectly enjoyable life.

    Mature people accept what has passed and put things behind them, looking forward to exciting times ahead. Learning lessons and living a wiser, happier life.

    Revenge seekers wallow in the past and are unable to be happy or comfortable with things.

    Revenge is immature, and a dead end trip. And there is always the possibility that, if seeking revenge on another shallow minded person, that won't be the end of it, and a feud will ensue. Nobody needs that.

    Revenge is dumb.

    Hatred is dumb.

    Better people know how to forgive and move on.
    Personal Ignore Policy PIP: I like civil discourse. I will give you all the respect in the world if you respect me. Mouth off to me, or express overt racism, you will be PERMANENTLY Ignore Listed. Zero tolerance. No exceptions. I'll never read a word you write, even if quoted by another, nor respond to you, nor participate in your threads. ... Ignore the shallow. Cherish the thoughtful. Long Live Civil Discourse, Mutual Respect, and Good Debate! ps: Feel free to adopt my PIP. It works well.

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    Hatred is toxic to one's soul, and it's detrimental to one's physical health and mental focus.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PoliTalker View Post
    Since hatred is a product of low self-esteem, it is only logical that hateful people suffer from low self-esteem.

    If you find yourself being hateful, know that you are loved, that you are a good person deserving of your own stature in this world.

    It is also good to remember that there will always be other people who seem more impressive than you.

    And that's OK. Would you really want to live in a world where you are the most impressive person?

    It's good to live in a world with people more amazing than you.

    And that's not a problem. It's a good thing.

    So just chill and be OK with it.

    Ain't nuthin gonna bite ya for it.
    it's hillary at the thought of having to go to swing states who coined the term "basket of deplorables".

    psychos are most dangerous when their walls are closing in.

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