Jan 6th Commission Canceled After Everyone Agrees Trump Won Election Fair And Square

[signalmankenneth]

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congress has voted down a proposed commission to look into the events of January 6th after everyone realized that Trump actually won the election fair and square in 2020.

"Wow, I guess I never really saw it that way!" said Senator Chuck Schumer after Mitch McConnell made everyone sit in a semi-circle and watch a Newsmax special on election fraud.

"The election was totally rigged! Total disaster! Completely and totally unfair!"

Schumer then got on his computer right then and there to write an apology letter to Trump.

"Trump and Mike Lindell were right!" exclaimed Nancy Pelosi. "I can't really blame Trump supporters for rioting at the Capitol anymore. I guess I would have done the same thing! Boy, was I an idiot! This whole experience has really put me in my place, that's for sure!"

Multiple Evangelical leaders took to social media soon afterward to celebrate the fulfillment of prophecy, as Trump was "totally vindicated".

Democrats are currently looking for ways to remove Biden so they can replace him with the one true President Donald Trump. Nancy Pelosi is now proposing an independent commission to look at the secret of Trump's incredible success as well as good looks.

Wow! Congratulations, President Trump!

https://babylonbee.com/news/jan-6th-...air-and-square

[Blackwater Lunchbreak]

the truth will out.

[Micawber]

I for one am elated the most physically fit president in US history since Taft will ascend to his rightful throne. (three steps at a time)

[Geeko Sportivo]

[ThatOwlWoman]

Can't you see OANN picking this up as actual news and presenting it to their marks? lol

[Blackwater Lunchbreak]

that's how groupies are. they're easy and willing.

[martin]

Can't you see OANN picking this up as actual news and presenting it to their marks? lol

That was my reaction. A typical Trumper seeing this will think its straight news, a bit surprising but perfectly credible.

[ThatOwlWoman]

That was my reaction. A typical Trumper seeing this will think its straight news, a bit surprising but perfectly credible.

What we need is a credible-sounding-to-the-cult antiOANN site. It could feature stories like "The Real President, Donald J. Trump, Urges His Supporters to Get the COVID Vaccine, so they can continue to fight for America!" and "Greatest President of All, Donald J. Trump, Endorses Compromise on Infrastructure Bill, says it's the only way to beat our enemy China."

[gfm7175]

Can't you see OANN picking this up as actual news and presenting it to their marks? lol

Don't worry, ThatCowardWoman, righties actually understand satire (and humor)...

[evince]

All you know is Putin turds on your tongue

[Blackwater Lunchbreak]

What we need is a credible-sounding-to-the-cult antiOANN site. It could feature stories like "The Real President, Donald J. Trump, Urges His Supporters to Get the COVID Vaccine, so they can continue to fight for America!" and "Greatest President of All, Donald J. Trump, Endorses Compromise on Infrastructure Bill, says it's the only way to beat our enemy China."

you may just stumble upon the truth.

[Grokmaster]

BABYLON BEE. AND?

[ThatOwlWoman]

you may just stumble upon the truth.

Yep. The truth is, if you really believe in such a thing as the Deep State and oligarchs behind the scenes controlling things to their advantage, another fake news site is *exactly* what we need.

[Grokmaster]

JAN 6th Commission FAILS AFTER EVERYONE FORCED TO ADMIT IT IS ALREADY BEING/BEEN THOROUGHLY INVESTIGATED BY DOJ/FBI.

[Blackwater Lunchbreak]

Yep. The truth is, if you really believe in such a thing as the Deep State and oligarchs behind the scenes controlling things to their advantage, another fake news site is *exactly* what we need.

you think deep state doesn't exist? you're obviously insane.