CDC Says You No Longer Have To Wear A Life Jacket Outside In Case Of Rain

[dukkha]

he CDC has updated its guidelines and announced that you no longer have to wear a life jacket outside in case of rain. The guidelines had been put in place last year during a particularly rainy March, and although many experts had claimed we would just have to wear the life jackets for a couple of weeks, mandates remained in place for well over a year.

But now, even hardcore pro-life jacket agencies like the CDC have admitted it is time to take the life jackets off and go about our lives.

"Look, unfortunately, the rainy season is just about over," said CDC Director Rochelle Walensky. "We had hoped it would last forever, but even we must admit, you no longer have to put a life jacket on when going outside." However, the updated rule only applies to people who have taken swimming lessons at an approved swim lesson site. Still, many say this is progress over the strict and sometimes anti-science position taken by the CDC throughout the flood season.

"But we will still remain vigilant, and life jackets may become a seasonal thing worn every October through April to stay safe."

Despite the updated guidelines, many liberals announced they would continue to wear life jackets until the chance of drowning in a sudden freak flash flood hit 0%.

"This is way too soon," said Krissy Mackinaw of Austin, Texas as she watched people walk by without life jackets. "Look at these anti-science neanderthals walking around!" Her state of Texas removed the life jacket mandate several months ago, causing many experts to predict there would be a massive spike in drownings, but none of those predictions of doom came true. "You're all going to die!" she screamed at passersby as she put a snorkel on.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-says...n-case-of-rain

[Bigdog]

"Look at these anti-science neanderthals walking around!"

Will Plugs apologize for his bigoted subhuman slur against 'neandertals'?

[Grumpy]

Will Plugs apologize for his bigoted subhuman slur against 'neandertals'?

Will bears stop shitting in the woods ???

[War=Peace]

he CDC has updated its guidelines and announced that you no longer have to wear a life jacket outside in case of rain. The guidelines had been put in place last year during a particularly rainy March, and although many experts had claimed we would just have to wear the life jackets for a couple of weeks, mandates remained in place for well over a year.

But now, even hardcore pro-life jacket agencies like the CDC have admitted it is time to take the life jackets off and go about our lives.

"Look, unfortunately, the rainy season is just about over," said CDC Director Rochelle Walensky. "We had hoped it would last forever, but even we must admit, you no longer have to put a life jacket on when going outside." However, the updated rule only applies to people who have taken swimming lessons at an approved swim lesson site. Still, many say this is progress over the strict and sometimes anti-science position taken by the CDC throughout the flood season.

"But we will still remain vigilant, and life jackets may become a seasonal thing worn every October through April to stay safe."

Despite the updated guidelines, many liberals announced they would continue to wear life jackets until the chance of drowning in a sudden freak flash flood hit 0%.

"This is way too soon," said Krissy Mackinaw of Austin, Texas as she watched people walk by without life jackets. "Look at these anti-science neanderthals walking around!" Her state of Texas removed the life jacket mandate several months ago, causing many experts to predict there would be a massive spike in drownings, but none of those predictions of doom came true. "You're all going to die!" she screamed at passersby as she put a snorkel on.
https://babylonbee.com/news/cdc-says...n-case-of-rain

LOVE!!!

[Legion]

[War=Peace]

Imma keep a snorkel handy just in case; Greta might be right!

[AProudLefty]

In other news, bears no longer need to wear diapers while shitting in the woods.

[Hawkeye10]

The Brain Trust is now willing to consider the possibility that this bug came out of a lab in Wuhan.

That's progress, though even that little honesty took a year.

We are so fucked.

[AProudLefty]

The Brain Trust is now willing to consider the possibility that this bug came out of a lab in Wuhan.

That's progress, though even that took a year.

We are so fucked.

Yep. It is confirmed that the bee with the virus flew out of China.

[dukkha]

The Brain Trust is now willing to consider the possibility that this bug came out of a lab in Wuhan.

That's progress, though even that little honesty took a year.

We are so fucked.

no reason it cant happen again,,the lab has a history of containment problems

[Hawkeye10]

no reason it cant happen again,,the lab has a history of containment problems

More importantly:

1) We have the right to know what happened

2) The truth of its origins, how it came to be, might greatly impact our futures....... if we for instance lost a year in getting ready for Hell then the ones who caused this to happen are dictionary definition of evil.

[dukkha]

More importantly:

1) We have the right to know what happened

2) The truth of its origins, how it came to be, might greatly impact our futures....... if we for instance lost a year in getting ready for Hell then the ones who caused this to happen are dictionary definition of evil.

we do but we wont get it.. can you imagine Biden pushing back on China?? ROFL..

Trump literally walked away from the bilateral because of of the Wu-Flu..
Biden hasn't event contemplated China malign trade..he's stuck on yammering "human rights"
which Beijing just throws back in his face

[Hawkeye10]

we do but we wont get it.. can you imagine Biden pushing back on China?? ROFL..

Trump literally walked away from the bilateral because of of the Wu-Flu..
Biden hasn't event contemplated China malign trade..he's stuck on yammering "human rights"
which Beijing just throws back in his face

Rogue scientists think that they might be able to figure this out in spite of all of the attempts from power to keep us ignorant.

[dukkha]

Rogue scientists think that they might be able to figure this out in spite of all of the attempts from power to keep us ignorant.

a must read
https://www.justplainpolitics.com/sh...wing-the-Clues

[Hawkeye10]

a must read
https://www.justplainpolitics.com/sh...wing-the-Clues

Cool....I dont currently post there so reading is all that I will do.