An expected answer from a paranoid schizophrenic where his different personalities can't completely obscure the true self. At the moment, I think your INT personality is closest to being your true self.
IBDa might represent your labido or your Father. Gfm is either your super ego or your Mom. Which might explain why you are so confused; a dad you love but is a "party animal" and a mother who is smart, but because she's a woman, limited to being a housekeeper?
Dude, your website is a bonanza for psychology students looking to write a 10-15 page paper. If all you do with your life is provide hundreds of Psychology students with such a detailed view as you've written, then I acknowledge your contribution to mankind.
It's not your fault you are the way you are. Although I think you are completely non-violent (harmless has negative connotations but means the same thing), when I meet Americans, good people afflicted with your condition, I'm always reminded of Charles Whitman.
Charles Whitman, a good Marine who was an excellent shot, killed 16 people (plus an unborn baby) and wounded 31 people from the top of the UT Tower, University of Texas at Austin, Texas 1AUG66. He was 25 years old when he was shot to death by two Austin Police officers who ran towards the rooftop gunfire seeking to stop the carnage.
He left two notes, one a typed suicide note and one beside the body of his mother after he murdered her. He was discovered to have a small tumor in his brain during his autopsy. What happened to him takes years. Our nation doesn't have a very good system of preventive mental health care much less one where mental healthcare is equal to physical care. He knew he needed help, but didn't ask for it or it wasn't available to him. Since the 60s were worse than the 2020s, the help wasn't available.
You are what you are. If you turn down help, that's not just on you but our society.
I do not quite understand what it is that compels me to type this letter. Perhaps it is to leave some vague reason for the actions I have recently performed. I do not really understand myself these days. I am supposed to be an average reasonable and intelligent young man. However, lately (I cannot recall when it started) I have been a victim of many unusual and irrational thoughts. These thoughts constantly recur, and it requires a tremendous mental effort to concentrate on useful and progressive tasks
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