Using data from "lots of smart people, really smart people, the hugest brains I know," Ex-Casino Owner Trump is reported to claim victory in the 2024 election.

"Sure, a lot of people believe it is better to wait for the results, but I have seen data that shows there is no way I could lose unless almost all democratic votes are counted. With so many red states doing all they can to suppress democratic voters with new laws they are trying to pass, I feel sure I got this one in the bag. The Arizona GOP is trying to get a law passed saying the state legislature has the right to overturn the popular vote result if they want to- who do you think that favors?" Trump went on.