A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions;
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It is made of concrete.
I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No we have a carport, and don’t need one.
I mean, What are your relations like?
All of my relations still live in Poland
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have a hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always get up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she is white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She is going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I have proof.
What kind of proof?
She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle at the drugstore and put it on shelf in bathroom. I read it, and it says:
Polish Remover.
I might read Szczepan Twardoch’s novel just to find out what kind of wise-guy dialogue he wrote for the gangsters in Poland:
The King of Warsaw is the Polish version of Goodfellas. The first of Szczepan Twardoch’s novels to be translated into English, it follows a young man as he enters the world of Warsaw gangsters. It’s clear why this plot-heavy tale of Poland in the 1930s was a bestseller in Europe: It’s packed with villainous hit men, street brawls with Nazis, whores with hearts of gold, and political coups. Though it is told in the looming shadow of World War II, the story focuses on Warsaw’s lowlifes. If The King of Warsaw sometimes feels a bit too familiar, it is still an entertaining pulp read for summer.
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Wise-Guy Dialogue
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