The 12 RULES OF A BBQ or it's real name BRAAI

[cancel2 2022]

My old mate Ken from Wales posted this on Facebook

The 12 RULES OF A BBQ or it's real name BRAAI (As it was when I was a boy being brought up in Africa)

1 ) No women allowed within 25 feet of the BBQ Fire.

2) Supplies... Rump Steaks, Boerewors, Ice Cool Crates of both Lion and Castle Lager, bread rolls and optional salad.

3 ) All charcoal must come in a sack that will last the entire season. Under no circumstances can a throw away children's silver foil tray BBQ be used.

4) The only fuel allowable is petrol which has syphoned by mouth from your petrol tank although all real men should be able to light a BBQ without using a chemical accelerant.

5 ) Only men who have a bottle of Lion or Castle Lager in their hands are allowed anywhere near the BBQ. Any men with a glass of wine in their hand have no business being with the real men and should go and sit down with the women spreading butter on bread rolls and tossing the salad.

6 )Always place the BBQ So that once the BBQ starts billowing smoke, it enhances the atmosphere by sending clouds of fragrant smoke over all of the tables, chairs, food and any guests sitting down. This is why when using a portable BBQ, wind direction is very important.....

7 )Whilst the men stand around the BBQ drinking Lion or Castle Lager they should all move out of the way of the smoke by moving to the other side of the BBQ.

8 ) The Chief BBQ operator is in total control of his BBQ and he assumes full responsibility and the success of the BBQ is dependant entirely on him.

9 ) The BBQ operator will always test the heat of the BBQ by pouring Castle or Lion Lager onto the hot charcoal where he determines from the amount of steam as to whether the BBQ is ready or not. The use of Lion and Castle Lager as a temperature control is a long established tradition

10 ) Once the temperature has been determined to be correct the steak and boerewors are placed on the grill. As this fat drips into the hot coals smoke flames are sent high into the air much to the delight of the all the men who must all cheer and wave their bottles of Lion and Castle lager in the air.

11 ) As the steak is turned so it's colour becomes darker as does the Boerewos until eventually it has turned mostly black. On closer inspection both the steak and the boerevos are charred on the outside and raw in the centre. These are considered perfectly done by the seasoned BBQ operator and are sent to the women and wine drinkers for loading into rolls. Once the meat is loaded onto the rolls, the blood soaks into the soft bread, making the bread a very pink soggy pulp,.

12 ) The BBQ operator looks to everyone there for approval praise to be heaped on him along with copious slaps on the back from all the men for his magnificent cooking prowess and the splendid job he has done.. “Ja lekker Butty.”

If your BBQ isn't like this you are doing it wrong....

[Jack]

This sounds like a 'Castle or Lion Lager commercial'.

"Lion Lager makes a return, but only for Christmas"
https://www.bizcommunity.com/Article/196/162/20126.html

(shaking head) 'Irish Boy becomes English Lackey'. (Sad)
(anything for Quid, how much are the south africans paying you?)

[PostmodernProphet]

lol......limeyies think they know something about BBQ!.....

[Jack]

I like a Chardonnay at a BBQ. This sexist pig, Havana, is forcing me to sit with the women, ... which, actually, I don't mind.

[Guno צְבִי]

My old mate Ken from Wales posted this on Facebook

The 12 RULES OF A BBQ or it's real name BRAAI (As it was when I was a boy being brought up in Africa)

1 ) No women allowed within 25 feet of the BBQ Fire.

2) Supplies... Rump Steaks, Boerewors, Ice Cool Crates of both Lion and Castle Lager, bread rolls and optional salad.

3 ) All charcoal must come in a sack that will last the entire season. Under no circumstances can a throw away children's silver foil tray BBQ be used.

4) The only fuel allowable is petrol which has syphoned by mouth from your petrol tank although all real men should be able to light a BBQ without using a chemical accelerant.

5 ) Only men who have a bottle of Lion or Castle Lager in their hands are allowed anywhere near the BBQ. Any men with a glass of wine in their hand have no business being with the real men and should go and sit down with the women spreading butter on bread rolls and tossing the salad.

6 )Always place the BBQ So that once the BBQ starts billowing smoke, it enhances the atmosphere by sending clouds of fragrant smoke over all of the tables, chairs, food and any guests sitting down. This is why when using a portable BBQ, wind direction is very important.....

7 )Whilst the men stand around the BBQ drinking Lion or Castle Lager they should all move out of the way of the smoke by moving to the other side of the BBQ.

8 ) The Chief BBQ operator is in total control of his BBQ and he assumes full responsibility and the success of the BBQ is dependant entirely on him.

9 ) The BBQ operator will always test the heat of the BBQ by pouring Castle or Lion Lager onto the hot charcoal where he determines from the amount of steam as to whether the BBQ is ready or not. The use of Lion and Castle Lager as a temperature control is a long established tradition

10 ) Once the temperature has been determined to be correct the steak and boerewors are placed on the grill. As this fat drips into the hot coals smoke flames are sent high into the air much to the delight of the all the men who must all cheer and wave their bottles of Lion and Castle lager in the air.

11 ) As the steak is turned so it's colour becomes darker as does the Boerewos until eventually it has turned mostly black. On closer inspection both the steak and the boerevos are charred on the outside and raw in the centre. These are considered perfectly done by the seasoned BBQ operator and are sent to the women and wine drinkers for loading into rolls. Once the meat is loaded onto the rolls, the blood soaks into the soft bread, making the bread a very pink soggy pulp,.

12 ) The BBQ operator looks to everyone there for approval praise to be heaped on him along with copious slaps on the back from all the men for his magnificent cooking prowess and the splendid job he has done.. “Ja lekker Butty.”

If your BBQ isn't like this you are doing it wrong....

Grilling is not the same as BBQ , limey boy

[Eagle_Eye]

I like a Chardonnay at a BBQ. This sexist pig, Havana, is forcing me to sit with the women, ... which, actually, I don't mind.

Why not you dress like them. Just kidding I couldn't resist.

[BRUTALITOPS]

should an english person (actually a bogman) really pretend to have any knowledge of anything culinary?

[Guno צְבִי]

should an english person (actually a bogman) really pretend to have any knowledge of anything culinary?

what can you expect from people who have a dish called spotted dick

[Lord Yurt]

I like a Chardonnay at a BBQ. This sexist pig, Havana, is forcing me to sit with the women, ... which, actually, I don't mind.

Real men DO NOT drink wine at a BBQ. Hang yourself.

[Lord Yurt]

Yeah, because dick always meant penis.

You are so effing stupid guano.

[Guno צְבִי]

Yeah, because dick always meant penis.

You are so effing stupid guano.

thankfully you are unable to spawn

[Mott the Hoople]

My old mate Ken from Wales posted this on Facebook

The 12 RULES OF A BBQ or it's real name BRAAI (As it was when I was a boy being brought up in Africa)

1 ) No women allowed within 25 feet of the BBQ Fire.

2) Supplies... Rump Steaks, Boerewors, Ice Cool Crates of both Lion and Castle Lager, bread rolls and optional salad.

3 ) All charcoal must come in a sack that will last the entire season. Under no circumstances can a throw away children's silver foil tray BBQ be used.

4) The only fuel allowable is petrol which has syphoned by mouth from your petrol tank although all real men should be able to light a BBQ without using a chemical accelerant.

5 ) Only men who have a bottle of Lion or Castle Lager in their hands are allowed anywhere near the BBQ. Any men with a glass of wine in their hand have no business being with the real men and should go and sit down with the women spreading butter on bread rolls and tossing the salad.

6 )Always place the BBQ So that once the BBQ starts billowing smoke, it enhances the atmosphere by sending clouds of fragrant smoke over all of the tables, chairs, food and any guests sitting down. This is why when using a portable BBQ, wind direction is very important.....

7 )Whilst the men stand around the BBQ drinking Lion or Castle Lager they should all move out of the way of the smoke by moving to the other side of the BBQ.

8 ) The Chief BBQ operator is in total control of his BBQ and he assumes full responsibility and the success of the BBQ is dependant entirely on him.

9 ) The BBQ operator will always test the heat of the BBQ by pouring Castle or Lion Lager onto the hot charcoal where he determines from the amount of steam as to whether the BBQ is ready or not. The use of Lion and Castle Lager as a temperature control is a long established tradition

10 ) Once the temperature has been determined to be correct the steak and boerewors are placed on the grill. As this fat drips into the hot coals smoke flames are sent high into the air much to the delight of the all the men who must all cheer and wave their bottles of Lion and Castle lager in the air.

11 ) As the steak is turned so it's colour becomes darker as does the Boerewos until eventually it has turned mostly black. On closer inspection both the steak and the boerevos are charred on the outside and raw in the centre. These are considered perfectly done by the seasoned BBQ operator and are sent to the women and wine drinkers for loading into rolls. Once the meat is loaded onto the rolls, the blood soaks into the soft bread, making the bread a very pink soggy pulp,.

12 ) The BBQ operator looks to everyone there for approval praise to be heaped on him along with copious slaps on the back from all the men for his magnificent cooking prowess and the splendid job he has done.. “Ja lekker Butty.”

If your BBQ isn't like this you are doing it wrong....

Oii...no wonder the SE US is known as the Kings of BBQ.

[Jack]

Real men DO NOT drink wine at a BBQ. Hang yourself.

... what do you even know about 'Real Men'?

[countryboy]

I like a Chardonnay at a BBQ. This sexist pig, Havana, is forcing me to sit with the women, ... which, actually, I don't mind.

You misspelled "wimmen".

[Lord Yurt]

thankfully you are unable to spawn

Stop projecting guano. You messed up and can't admit it.

Poor guano....