Choosing a wife

[Ralph]

Of course he chooses the one that lavished him with gifts as is the custom in all marriages......the female uses his money to purchase gifts that he could have purchased himself establishing the common precedent that is used by females throughout the world today.

What's yours, is ours....what's mine is mine.

That's what has led to the current divorce rate with the men that have been divorced more than twice simply walking up to the next beautiful female they met and declaring straight out, I WILL GIVE YOU HALF OF EVERYTHING I OWN IN THE WORLD TO SLEEP WITH ME...……..

The cheaper and more common sense option? Just use the 5k to purchase the services of a 1k per night call girl for 5 nights.... With the other 10K....take a vacation to Vegas.

[Jack]

This is the reason why you are known here as Jackoff...

... oh, I left out the bee stung lips and the Botox injections. My bad.

[MAGA MAN]

... oh, I left out the bee stung lips and the Botox injections. My bad.

Stop fantasizing about my wife Jackoff.

[Jack]

[Troll]

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much..

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

 

So he married the one with the biggest tits.

Sounds about right!

[Mason Michaels]

Liberals aren't real men.

Says the chickenshit piss ant

[Jack]

Sounds about right!

Sounds about right for Dark Soul ... after years of fucking a Blow-Up Doll with big fake Plastic Tits.

[MAGA MAN]

I'm a chickenshit piss ant

2 bad

[MAGA MAN]

I've spent years fucking a Blow-Up Doll with big fake Plastic Tits.

You should try the real thing...

[Jack]

I wanted to try the real thing...

Sounds about right.

[MAGA MAN]

I'm just not right.

This has been established.

[Jack]

Hey! I have mommy issues. What's the Big Deal.

It just seems, I don't know, odd. I grown man has to be given a pacifier and a large beachball to hold as he goes to sleep.

[MAGA MAN]

It just seems, I don't know, odd. I grown man has to be given a pacifier and a large beachball to hold as he goes to sleep.

Whatever makes your boat float.

[Jack]

DS: "So he married the one with the biggest tits."
Jack: This comment, and your Avatar 'Boob grabber', tells me you have a 'Boob Fetish'.

[christiefan915]

Probably true. One of my close female friends (who hinted more than once that I should ask her out) was a gorgeous girl with the most awesome D rack. She married a plumber.

A Story for Every Occasion ™