Tell a joke, riddle, or just something funny (non-PC)

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[Sailor]

I was in port in Alaska. I thought I saw an eye Doctor on an Alaskan Island. Turns out if was an..............optical Aluetian......

[Flash]

I went to see my doctor about fluid on the knee. He said I wasn't aiming straight.

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Hillary Clinton visits a Primary school, to give a talk, After her talk she offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. "Kenneth," he says.

"And what is your question, Kenneth?" she asks.

"I have three questions," he says.
"First -- whatever happened in Benghazi?
"Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
"And, third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time.
Who has a question?"

A different boy -- little Johnny -- puts his hand up.

Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
"Johnny," he says.

"And what is your question, Johnny?" she asks.

"I have five questions," he says.

"First -- whatever happened in Benghazi?
"Second -- why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
"Third -- whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
"Fourth -- why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
"And, fifth -- where's Kenneth?"

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[Celticguy]

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In honor of the Westminster show...

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Who can work this out?

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[Iolo/Penderyn]

Aged demonstators:

What do we want?
A better memory!
When do we want it?
Want what?

[Frank Apisa]

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

· Dustin Hoffman

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Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved.

Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or girl yet, so don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle???

Your uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned, they couldn't get the tailgate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Mom

P.S. - I was going to send you some spending money, but I had already sealed the envelope and mailed it.

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[Celticguy]

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[Sailor]