Reply With QuoteSailor (12-05-2020)
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Sailor (12-05-2020)
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I used to.have a Capri like that back in the day.
I
Honoring my oath
Two old men, a priest and a rabbi, were sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons. They'd been good friends since childhood and stayed friends throughout each of their vocations.
One day the priest says to the rabbi, "Adam, have you ever eaten ham?"
The rabbi pauses and says, "Yes. One time some gentile friends invited the wife and myself over for a Christmas party. There were lots of hors devours offered and, so, yes, I ate some ham".
Both men were silent for a few seconds when the rabbi said to the priest, "John, have you ever had carnal knowledge of a woman?"
The priest paused for a second then said, "Yes. There was one time while I was still in seminary, before I took my vows, when I met a young woman. One thing led to another and, so, yes, I've had carnal knowledge of a woman."
Both men were silent for a few seconds then the rabbi nudges the priest and says "Better than ham, wasn't it?"
"Hatred is a failure of imagination" - Graham Greene, "The Power and the Glory"
Sailor (12-05-2020)
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Ah but...but...that was different!!Originally Posted by jakemax
jakemax (11-29-2020)
Never Again
“If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we’d rather be alive and have the bad image.”
— Golda Meir
Zionism is the movement for the self-determination and statehood for the Jewish people in their ancestral homeland, the land of Israel.
“If Hamas put down their weapons, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons, there would be no Israel."
ברוך השם
Doc Dutch (11-28-2020)
Thread Killer
An engineer dies and through a bureaucratic mistake is sent to Hell.
Upon arriving he finds the place a totally inefficient disaster. He quickly sets about fixing things. Soon Hell has working air conditioning, indoor plumbing and flush toilets, and microwaves for burritos.
God calls Satan to see how things are going. Satan says, "Since we got an engineer down here things are going great! We have air conditioning, flush toilets that work, and we're microwaving our snacks! This guy is great!"
"Hey, wait a minute!" God says. "All engineers are supposed to go to heaven because they're virgins who didn't have a social life. Send that guy up here to heaven immediately!"
Satan replies, "Hell no! This guy is great. We're keeping him where he is."
"I'm going to sue you," God replies. "You have no right to keep an engineer in Hell!"
Satan starts laughing, "Go ahead and sue! Where are you going to find a lawyer?"
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Sailor (12-14-2020)
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A taliban crossing a desert.
Finally approaching a false oasis to find a Jew selling ties.
Half dead from thirst he comes face to face.
Do you have any water?
The Jew replies no I have no water but I’ve these beautiful ties just $5 do you want one?
No I don’t want your western clothes I hate Jews and I would kill you but I must have water!
Well I have no water but to show you I’m the better man there’s a restaurant that way all the water you can drink.
I don’t care what you say I may come back and kill you.
The taliban makes his way thru the pass.
Later that day the Jewish man sees the taliban approaching waving a five dollar bill in the air.
They wouldn’t let me in without a tie.
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