Why It Is So Important To Be Nice And Cordial In Your Posting

[Frank Apisa]

Any political chat board I've been on has been just like this one.

Okay...go over to Able2Know...and discuss politics. Be sure to use, "You are a lying, cock-sucking mother-fucker" while you are there.

See if it works out "just like this one."

Try it at PoliticForum.com.

Try it at Debate Politics.com.

While this board has gone to hell compared to what it was a decade ago today's rhetoric is no different than yesterday's rhetoric, last year's rhetoric or last decade's rhetoric.

I do not think the rhetoric has "gone to hell."

I think it accurately reflects what is happening in our nation right now.

You're making an excuse for your own behavior.

Just because someone else acts a certain way doesn't mean you have to. You are part of the problem, not the solution.

Fuck you and all your sanctimonious bullshit.

[PoliTalker]

Hello Loving91390,

Are you kidding ? There is no " cordial " in this angry black man forum !

Baloney. You're not looking hard enough. It's there.

Whether you choose to overlook polite posting and pretend it doesn't exist or not doesn't mean it isn't there.

It is.

[Cypress]

In my opinion, the same rules of social etiquette apply whether words are coming out of your mouth, or being typed by one's fingers on a keyboard.

Plenty of message board dupes will call someone names and pejoratives, will attempt to dehumanize others, and will relentlessly gossip like schoolgirls behind someone's back.

But they do not actually do that in real life to someone's face.

That is the definition of cowardice - it is basically the domain of man-babies and sociopaths.

[cawacko]

Okay...go over to Able2Know...and discuss politics. Be sure to use, "You are a lying, cock-sucking mother-fucker" while you are there.

See if it works out "just like this one."

Try it at PoliticForum.com.

Try it at Debate Politics.com.



I do not think the rhetoric has "gone to hell."

I think it accurately reflects what is happening in our nation right now.



Fuck you and all your sanctimonious bullshit.

Not sanctimonious at all, I contribute to the poor environment here. I'm not above anything or better than anyone else. I need to work on myself. Ultimately it's about being a man and taking responsibility for your own actions.

[Frank Apisa]

In my opinion, the same rules of social etiquette apply whether words are coming out of your mouth, or being typed by one's fingers on a keyboard.

Plenty of message board dupes will call someone names and pejoratives, will attempt to dehumanize others, and will relentlessly gossip like schoolgirls behind someone's back.

But they do not actually do that in real life to someone's face.

That is the definition of cowardice - it is basically the domain of man-babies and sociopaths.

If I am in conversations like the ones that regularly take place here...

...I speak the same way I am being spoken to.

The entire of the politeness nonsense is way over-done. I defy anyone to establish reasonably that a polite conversation here in this forum changes minds with any greater efficacy than the standard "kick 'em in the balls" methods.

If one is looking for a clean, fresh air environment...one does not look for it at one of the Chicago slaughter houses...or at a pig farm in Arkansas. If one is looking for a pastoral picnic site...one does not look in the slums of a major city.

Anyone looking for polite, reasonable, logical political discourse...and has chosen THIS PLACE to look for it...
...is playing with him/herself.

Think about it.

You will see that I am correct on this point.

[Frank Apisa]

Not sanctimonious at all, I contribute to the poor environment here. I'm not above anything or better than anyone else. I need to work on myself. Ultimately it's about being a man and taking responsibility for your own actions.

I take responsibility for my own actions...and the "polite" nonsense in discussions with Trump supporters is a suckers dream.

Anyway...did you give it a shot at the three sites I offered?

Looking for polite, reasonable, logical discourse here...is an absurdity.

[cawacko]

If I am in conversations like the ones that regularly take place here...

...I speak the same way I am being spoken to.

The entire of the politeness nonsense is way over-done. I defy anyone to establish reasonably that a polite conversation here in this forum changes minds with any greater efficacy than the standard "kick 'em in the balls" methods.

If one is looking for a clean, fresh air environment...one does not look for it at one of the Chicago slaughter houses...or at a pig farm in Arkansas. If one is looking for a pastoral picnic site...one does not look in the slums of a major city.

Anyone looking for polite, reasonable, logical political discourse...and has chosen THIS PLACE to look for it...
...is playing with him/herself.

Think about it.

You will see that I am correct on this point.

Let's be real, no one on this board is changing their mind about anything. But good conversations and discussion of ideas are far more likely to happen when people aren't cussing and screaming at each other.

[PoliTalker]

Hello Phantasmal,

I try, but sometimes I fall short. It’s why I have people on ignore because I know engaging them will result in my lowering myself to their level. I don’t want to do that, so best to just ignore them.

Same here. Totally.

I used to mix it up just like everybody else. A long time ago and in a chat board far far away. I changed, so I know others can too.

I had nobody on ignore. Mixed it up with the worst. And I was nasty. I was proud of the fact that I had nobody on Ignore. Although I wondered just what that was worth. Nobody ever gave me a trophy for 'taking it.'

It often left me angry and stressed. And I carried those bad feelings with me into the rest of my life.

One day, I got tired of it and got curious if there was a more pleasant posting experience. I decided to try an experiment. I decided to run the experiment for 3 weeks, just to make sure I got a good feel for what it was like. I chose 3 weeks because that is the average amount of time it takes to change a habit. In my experiment, I placed every single poster who trash-talked me on Ignore. Wow, that list filled up fast! The changes were sudden, but the effect sank in a little slower.

Suddenly, many of the people I was talking to were off limits. I didn't want to 'cheat,' so I did not allow myself to even look at what they were saying. If I am going to cut myself off from grief, I wanted to follow through. Here's what I found:

-I ended up following fewer conversations, but the ones I followed became more meaningful.
-I spent less time on the internet and enjoyed more time for other things. It was like suddenly having more time. Fabulous!
-I gradually became less confrontational and more reserved, more accepting of different views. I came to find a whole new appreciation for diversity.
-I was less apt to use swear words in every day conversations away from the internet.
-I gained the ability to listen to others say things I disagreed with, without becoming angry.
-I was able to respond to people who said bothersome things by saying very thoughtful things which caused them to stop and think.
-I experienced less stress in my life.
-I became nicer to be around.
-I enjoy life more, and have remained strong and healthy.

I think what was going on before my big change was I was internalizing the stress of online flame wars, and taking that into my real life, which resulted in my life being more stressful. Naturally, when I got to the end of my 3 week 'experiment,' I knew I was onto something good. I didn't want to go back. That was when it occurred to me that I should make my own Ignore policy permanent. I adopted that personal rule; and have enjoyed the benefits ever since.

I also realized that it was a bad idea to talk about those whom I have placed on Ignore. I am trying to distance myself from their grief and stress and set a good example. So I just do my best to stay away, avoid taunting, simply have nothing to do with them, as if they don't even exist. I don't read their threads, don't reply to them. This way, everybody knows I mean what I say.

I learned that you can tell something about a person by the way they react to my policy. Sometimes I have doubts about somebody. I get the come-on/go-away thing from them. The ones who can be nice but also be mean. I wonder if they can check their posts while talking to me. So I will let them know I am considering them for Ignore. If they double down, I give up on them and place them on permanent Ignore. But if they back off, I give them another chance. That usually runs about 50-50. Some back off, others double down. I feel bad when I place somebody like that on permanent Ignore because I know I will never take them off, and I might be missing something good they might say. But I have to be true to myself. So I do what I need to do to take care of myself. And I am glad I do that.

If you don't look out for yourself, nobody else is going to. And by looking out for myself in this way, I am contributing a radical idea to the forum. The idea that people can exchange ideas and thoughts positively and enjoy the experience. Apparently it is a radical idea to just want to talk about politics at Just Plain Politics.

[evince]

Because meanness is contagious!

When you're mean to somebody, it makes them feel bad. When people feel bad, they tend to be mean to somebody else.

If you're mean to somebody, they are very likely to go and be mean to somebody else.

And around and around it goes, feeling bad, being mean, until most people think: 'That's just the way it is.'

But it doesn't have to be that way. And it shouldn't. Why are we letting mean people set the tone? We don't have to.

Part of the problem with internet posting is you don't get to look people in the eye. There's no expression. Nothing about the way you say something. You don't get to add a smile or a look.

It's all about what is written. The written word conveys it all. Nothing is softened with a smile, a wink or a glint in the eye. The written word is the only thing there, so the written word carries more weight than the spoken word. Everything is about what is written. Mean words become meaner.

Your words carry more weight here. Mean words hit harder. We have to be more careful. It's a big responsibility, taking care of other people's feelings. And it's important. What goes around comes around.

If we really want to help our nation, work out issues, solve problems, share information, communicate effectively, cause people to ponder our own creative ideas; we need to be nicer.

Mean words cause many to simply stay away from this site. Others may return, but use the Ignore Feature. The fact that mean words cause so many to stop or reduce their participation tells us the effect. The consequences of using mean words result in people not talking. And not listening, not communicating. Did we come here to participate in communication or shut it down?

We came here to talk about politics, talk about the business of our nation; learn, share, understand.

All of that is impacted by being mean. Impacted negatively. It hurts. Yes, mean words hurt people, hurt conversations, hurt good communication.

Nice people are driven away. This becomes a place for mean people and mean conversations. And that is exactly what we see, what others see, what turns off people who wander in here, sends them away, keeps this place limited; held back; less than it can be.

Most people don't want to talk about politics. We are unusual. We are willing to come here and talk about politics. That makes us special, rare. We all know people in real life that we can't talk politics with. We save our comments and bring them here because political comments are welcome here. We are the ones who care enough about what is going on in our country to come here and talk about it all. That makes it even more important that our conversations accomplish something beneficial. Being mean, turning people off, driving away positive contributions to the conversations is counteractive to helping our nation.

Standard anti-troll thread thief disclaimer:

If we care so much about what is going on in our country to come here and discuss politics, why do we allow ourselves to be so mean that it shuts down good discussions and instead turns into stupid flame wars with strangers over the internet? Ridiculous. Just ridiculous.

And helping our nation improve is why we are all here. We can all think of ideas to help our nation. We come here to share them, talk about what we can do.

Being mean undoes the good we accomplish by coming here and sharing.

Some people around here need to give their attitude a tune up.

Why are you here? To share bad feelings? If so, why? What does it do for you to make other people feel bad? If there is ANY benefit to being mean, how long does that feeling last? Is it truly rewarding? Does it make you feel content? That fleeting little endorphin rush from being able to let loose with your anger. Does that really do any good? Maybe you should just stop and think about the big picture of what you are doing.

Maybe you need to examine just why you act mean. What are you trying to accomplish? Sounds like a cry for help from a messed up mind to me.

The we/they thing is real strong here. WE are the good guys; and THEY are the bad guys. We have to fight the bad guys so our goodness can reign. Right? Is that it?

Well if that's the motivation then the next logical question is if you are the good guys, how does being mean make you good?

Mean people suck. No part of being good involves being mean. Being mean is being bad. Be good. Be nice!

Don't be mean.

Respect other people as you would like to be respected yourself.

It's the golden rule.

And it makes sense.

For the good of humankind.

Being nice is the right thing to do.

Im not a liar


I will never be NICE to liars


its like being nice to someone trying to murder you


its counter productive

[PoliTalker]

Hi Frank,

If I am in conversations like the ones that regularly take place here... ...I speak the same way I am being spoken to.

OK, the difference here is stark.

You are letting other people set your tone.

I strive to set my own.

I don't want other people to control the way I talk. I want to control how I talk.

[PoliTalker]

Hello evince,

Im not a liar


I will never be NICE to liars

Everybody lies.

[Frank Apisa]

Let's be real, no one on this board is changing their mind about anything. But good conversations and discussion of ideas are far more likely to happen when people aren't cussing and screaming at each other.

Once again...you are looking for a healthy, pleasant, fresh air environment...in a slaughter house.

I am NOT disagreeing that polite, reasonable, logical conversations suck in some way...but I AM saying that looking for that here...rather than going to sites where that is encouraged...

...is bullshit.

Anyone complaining about the tenor of the conversations here...IS doing the equivalent of looking for a nice picnic setting in an inner city slum.

Get that...or don't get that.

It is what it is.

[Frank Apisa]

Hi Frank,



OK, the difference here is stark.

You are letting other people set your tone.

I strive to set my own.

I don't want other people to control the way I talk. I want to control how I talk.

Then do it.

But you have taken to lecturing others to do as you do.

That is where my comments are aimed.

By the way...no one is setting my tone for me. I decided to join this forum because I saw it as a welcome relief from the highly moderated, often cliquey, forums THAT REQUIRE YOU TO HAVE YOUR TONE SET FOR YOU.

Now...when I first came here, I lectured Evince on his/her tone.

I was wrong.

This is not a site for the faint of heart.

Lecture as much as you want. I think you are wrong...and I will have my say and move on.

[cawacko]

Once again...you are looking for a healthy, pleasant, fresh air environment...in a slaughter house.

I am NOT disagreeing that polite, reasonable, logical conversations suck in some way...but I AM saying that looking for that here...rather than going to sites where that is encouraged...

...is bullshit.

Anyone complaining about the tenor of the conversations here...IS doing the equivalent of looking for a nice picnic setting in an inner city slum.

Get that...or don't get that.

It is what it is.

polite isn't the correct word. People can be passionate about their ideas and beliefs while still expressing them without constant cussing and name calling.

[evince]

Posting on here is not about me


its about killing lies

On sites lie this I can hand out facts and truth to way more humans than I could as an old lady in person.

I post as a public service


I love the subject of Politics


I am very informed

those are my talents


To help the world you need to rely on your talents.

In person Im a warm and fuzzy 60 year old lady

I have always had the handicap of being very hourglass shaped and seen as someone incapable of intellect


Yes this life time tomgirl who never dressed for sexy could NEVER escape the shape that my genes gave me


Guys have gone goggle eyed all my life


even though my face is merely average

no make up

Nothing but comfort clothes like jeans and sweats and T shirts all my life


I even hate jewelry (metal feels creepy on my skin)



People are always blown away at who I am inside


My good nature and my big boobs and round ass get silly people to automatically assume Im nothing more than those things.


You would be blown away here how sweet I am in person


Only drug dealers and assholes know my intolerance and fierceness in the face of wrong doing


I greet all new people to me as soon to be friends


those that after knowing me refuse to give up the vacuous bomb shell image just get heaved by the wayside politely.


those who just love me more after knowing whats inside become life long friends


those that expect me to stand by and watch people be treated badly rue the day they met me.


but that is enough about me



online gives me the power to NOT be hampered by those image problems



the internets levels the playing field for me


Im here to take out liars


Im here to educate fools to the facts they can ignore in real life



yes Its fun in a way for me


I LOVE THE SUBJECT


but it aint about my pleasure


Its about facts their sacredness


I can reach a much more massive amount of people

and they actually see ONLY my thoughts instead of my kaboom getting in the way.