Why It Is So Important To Be Nice And Cordial In Your Posting

[Nomad]

I disagree with the OP.

Spitting verbal bile at people on an internet forum who you consider to be assholes who deserve it, is a good way to blow off steam and get it out of your system. Much better than getting involved in a road rage incident or a shoving match in the supermarket checkout line or, worse yet... shooting someone.

I'm all in favor of vicariously bitch-smacking douchebags on my computer screen.

AND FUCK ANYONE WHO DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME, DAMMIT!!!!!!

[PoliTalker]

Hello Nomad,

I disagree with the OP.

Spitting verbal bile at people on an internet forum who you consider to be assholes who deserve it, is a good way to blow off steam and get it out of your system. Much better than getting involved in a road rage incident or a shoving match in the supermarket checkout line or, worse yet... shooting someone.

I'm all in favor of vicariously bitch-smacking douchebags on my computer screen.

I would contend that chat room flame wars actually contribute more to hatred and frustration. Sure, one gets to 'get it all off one's chest,' but the flip side is, in order to dish it out, it is also necessary to take it. Most flamers say it doesn't bother them, but the reality is they have merely become desensitized to it. In order to engage in online flame wars, it is inherent that one will internalize a lot of hatred directed at them as well. That doesn't just go away. It gets wired into the synapses.

And it can be rewired by simply immersing oneself in something else.

If it is perceived that writing caustic things directed at willing adversarial flamers online is the only thing preventing one from going physical with a road rage incident, or possible manslaughter charge, the indication is that this describes a psychological issue which should be dealt with by moving away from vitriol, not fighting fire with fire, or getting more deeply immersed in stress.

Part of the problem is: The endorphin rush associated with 'vicariously bitch-smacking douchebags' is very short-lived. Lasts about as long as it takes to read the next come-back. Then the cycle of internalized rage repeats, somebody else has to be told off, etc. Each participant in the flame war is feeding off the other, and ramping up internalized frustrations.

One could have a much more peaceful life by rising above that. I know it doesn't mean much, but I know firsthand how much more peaceful and content a life can be after a decision to cease partaking in flame wars. I used to dish it out and swallowed my share. It's funny I should end up here, kind of like a sober alcoholic hanging out in a bar, but my transcendence is so complete I am never even tempted to engage. My mind is so much more at ease. Tolerance for diversity has returned.

The reason I'm here is the activity level. I can filter out all the comments from anybody on my IgList and still find way more conversations that I can keep up with. I'm like a gold prospector in here. I don't want all the dirt. I'm in it for the nuggets. The tools allow me to sift through the dirt and find 'em. Part of why I endorse restraint is I feel so at ease I want to share this secret for dealing with the stress of being so well informed. When you are informed, you will be internalizing a lot of horror in the first place. A method of dealing with that mentally is essential if one doesn't want to devolve into a hammer looking for a nail. Thinking of the opposition in a different way helps greatly. Instead of thinking that somebody is a 'douchebag,' for instance, try thinking of them as a person who has some issues just like most of us.

Abstaining from flames leaves one with a higher quality of online discussion experience. I skip right past all the trash talk and get right to actual ideas and discussions that interest me. I do find the traditional left/right debates fascinating when it comes down to conceptualizing policy. I want what's right for the USA, I want to be well informed, and I like to know what motivates people to take their positions. I'm not trying to change anybody's mind, but if that happens, great. I just think our nation is more functional if we stay politically engaged and talk about what's going on.

I think conservative voices are just as important as liberal voices. I want to hear why the two sides take their positions, so I can sort it out logically. I could do very well without the sandbox fights. We should have more respect for one another, and our self-government would work a lot better. Now who doesn't want our government to work better?

[PoliTalker]

Another thought about using online flame wars as a way to avoid road rage:

I figured out years ago that if I am getting angry at other drivers the fault is mine for letting them get to me.

There is, of course, nothing we can do to change the traffic we encounter. But what we can do is control how we react to it. I know if I am starting to get angry at other drivers, that something is bothering me and I need to do something to de-stress. Something is troubling me. I need to go to a concert, commune with nature, do some gardening, whatever. Getting angry because drivers are doing what is really very expected, is like a psychological barometer.

Most people don't listen to it, but it is a good indicator of the true answer to the common question: 'How are you?'

[PoliTalker]

If you find yourself getting angry and frustrated with other drivers, it is an indicator that you've got some mental house-cleaning to do.

Going online to chew out a stranger who doesn't deserve it is not the answer.

That will not lead to peace of mind.

[Nordberg]

Why do people get angry at other drivers or even other people? When I see a shitty or aggressive driver, I give them lots of room and stay away. There are some insane people on the road. No reason to confront them, since there is no profit in it anyway,

[PoliTalker]

Hello Nordberg,

Why do people get angry at other drivers or even other people? When I see a shitty or aggressive driver, I give them lots of room and stay away. There are some insane people on the road. No reason to confront them, since there is no profit in it anyway,

Same here. When you drive the limit you have to watch your rear as much as where you are going. I have changed lanes, even pulled off the road to let crazy aggressive drivers by. Not that it always helps them. Sometimes they are buried in a tight pack of other aggressive drivers at the next light when I come rolling up just about the time it turns green. If there's an open lane, I just roll right on by. I have even pulled over for the same stupid driver more than once. Several times for the same driver in some bizarre cases. Really, how fast one gets to the next red light does not control how long your trip takes. It's how many lights you have to wait for.

I'm constantly amused at the ones who ride my bumper as I am slowing for a red light up ahead. I've got a simple habit. Light ahead red, foot off gas. Just let it coast. So I get these people who ride my bumper as I am slowing down. Like I'm not flying up to the pack of waiting cars up ahead fast enough. So they get a chance, they pass, hit the gas for a moment, then they too have to hit the brakes. So they go zooming up there and stop, I am still rolling, slowing down, coasting. Light flips green, off they go, I am right with them. I never had to stop. Too funny. They must be in a real hurry to buy more tires and brakes, because they are going to need them sooner. Mine last forever. And they burn way more gas than me, too. Oh darn. I'll just pocket the savings and enjoy the peace of mind.

And the screwy thing is it really doesn't take much longer to drive somewhere safely. The only way to shorten your drive time is to get into the next light cycle ahead, and that takes such dangerous speeds it's a totally unsafe trade-off for a few minutes of time. Occasionally you do miss a sequence if you end up too far back. It's not the end of the world. Again, few minutes of time is a wise trade-off for safety and possibly, the rest of your life. Over 30,000 people a year die in USA traffic deaths. If we had that many deaths in a war there would be protests and demonstrations. But since it's on the highway we just don't talk about it.