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robdastud
08-27-2006, 05:11 PM
Ok so you all remember from friday that i got outted at work, well we exchanged numbers (for friend purposes) and i was all like call me and we'll hang out on saturday. blah blah blah, well i totally blew the kid off, and he called not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES.... ON SATURDAY... i was off at the outlets in Wrentham mass shopping (where everyone was extremly rude) and then i went out on a date, and i didn't return his calls, well quite frankly b/c i didn't want to.... im kinda all into nick and i really don't want to bother with anyone else, or hang out w/ other people... so how do i explain this tomorrow b/c im sure he's going to come down to my desk... Nick thinks i should tell him that these conversations are not work appropriate and just say something like i don't want to discuss this at work.... and i really kinda don't, but is that being rude, especially since i told him to call me on saturday?? i didn't know i was going to have such a rockin good weekend... also im going out w/ nick tonight to the movies after he eats...probaby around 955 we are going to see world trade center.... i spent pretty much friday through now talking to him, and id rather talk to him over some guy who has a partner at work that im not into at all, that id possibly be friends with but not even sure about that b/c like i agree w/ Lady T i don't really wanna go there at work, b/c work is work, i mean i have some good friends at work but i don't really want more...

thoughts

Cancel7
08-27-2006, 05:17 PM
Rob, I thought Nick was the guy from work. I am totally not keeping up. Maybe you need to start illustrating your posts, for slow people like me?

Wow, you are in a tough spot, and the fact that he called you three times, is almost scary. That is not cool. I mean, leave a message and if the person does not get back to you, wait until Monday and if they are standoffish, than take the hint.

I guess at this point, Nick's advice is the best route. It's going to be hard for you to do I think, but you have to kind of cut this guy off at the pass, and pretty quickly.

robdastud
08-27-2006, 05:23 PM
Rob, I thought Nick was the guy from work. I am totally not keeping up. Maybe you need to start illustrating your posts, for slow people like me?

Wow, you are in a tough spot, and the fact that he called you three times, is almost scary. That is not cool. I mean, leave a message and if the person does not get back to you, wait until Monday and if they are standoffish, than take the hint.

I guess at this point, Nick's advice is the best route. It's going to be hard for you to do I think, but you have to kind of cut this guy off at the pass, and pretty quickly.
Noooooo

Nick is the guy from the myspace page that ive been going out with...
jason is the guy from work....

Damocles
08-27-2006, 05:25 PM
I think you should be honest with the guy. Tell him you were out with this new person you are all high on at the moment and that you are sorry. Then tell him if he wants to just be a friend then you're cool with that, but if he wants any more then you gotta beg off. You are just too high on this guy.

Sometimes men are stupid, and only the direct approach works. Any guy who calls three times needs honesty or he'll be doing it again and at awkward moments.

Make sure to keep Nick in the loop as to what is happening so that if the dude calls when Nick is there it doesn't cause problems.

robdastud
08-27-2006, 05:25 PM
Rob, I thought Nick was the guy from work. I am totally not keeping up. Maybe you need to start illustrating your posts, for slow people like me?

Wow, you are in a tough spot, and the fact that he called you three times, is almost scary. That is not cool. I mean, leave a message and if the person does not get back to you, wait until Monday and if they are standoffish, than take the hint.

I guess at this point, Nick's advice is the best route. It's going to be hard for you to do I think, but you have to kind of cut this guy off at the pass, and pretty quickly.

well he called once left a message at like 11, then called and left no message but still showed up on my cell ID, then called later on like at 6. he has a partner too so i don't know why he's all up my ass so to speak.

and its not that im ditching everyone to hang w/ nick, i mean i have enough friends, i have some work friends actually enough work friends and i have my other friends so i guess what im saying is that i don't actually really 'like' the kid even so much as a friend and its kinda weird he called me 3 times on a saturday

robdastud
08-27-2006, 05:28 PM
I think you should be honest with the guy. Tell him you were out with this new person you are all high on at the moment and that you are sorry. Then tell him if he wants to just be a friend then you're cool with that, but if he wants any more then you gotta beg off. You are just too high on this guy.

Sometimes men are stupid, and only the direct approach works. Any guy who calls three times needs honesty or he'll be doing it again and at awkward moments.

Make sure to keep Nick in the loop as to what is happening so that if the dude calls when Nick is there it doesn't cause problems.

at the moment damo?? lol no... im the kinda guy and as are most guys, they know within 5 minutes of being w/ a date or someone whether they want to see them again, and furthermore usually if the guy is interested they call the next day...

lets put it this way i knew i wanted to see nick again after 1 minute. im usually pretty consistent with regard to this, its not a moment thing. its definently strong potential for something to become very serious, but i don't think you meant it that way but im just clarifying.

Cancel7
08-27-2006, 05:28 PM
well he called once left a message at like 11, then called and left no message but still showed up on my cell ID, then called later on like at 6. he has a partner too so i don't know why he's all up my ass so to speak.

and its not that im ditching everyone to hang w/ nick, i mean i have enough friends, i have some work friends actually enough work friends and i have my other friends so i guess what im saying is that i don't actually really 'like' the kid even so much as a friend and its kinda weird he called me 3 times on a saturday

Yeah it is. Damo's right. (do not get used to hearing that Damo). Anyone calling you three times is going to need to hear something pretty blunt.

Cypress
08-27-2006, 05:30 PM
Calm down rob.

Its not like you promised to go on a date with this dude from work. You don't really owe him any long-winded explanations. Unless he keeps stalking you, and then you should tell him your already in a relationship.

robdastud
08-27-2006, 05:31 PM
Yeah it is. Damo's right. (do not get used to hearing that Damo). Anyone calling you three times is going to need to hear something pretty blunt.

i agree, but im also concerned about the fallout... i mean one place im very VERY discrete is work... i mean its my career, i don't care if family knows im gay (some do) and all my friends know im gay, but work is work.... i mean i could see me having this fallout and then him blabbering my business to everyone so to speak, thats why i kinda feel like im walking on eggshells, and i totally fucked myself.... big time.... but i really didn't do it to myself b/c he was the one who remembered me from fucking march... MARCH.... i don't remember what i wore yesterday who i saw last week, but this dude remembers from seeing me out in Hartford at a gay bar in MARCH

Damocles
08-27-2006, 05:32 PM
at the moment damo?? lol no... im the kinda guy and as are most guys, they know within 5 minutes of being w/ a date or someone whether they want to see them again, and furthermore usually if the guy is interested they call the next day...

lets put it this way i knew i wanted to see nick again after 1 minute. im usually pretty consistent with regard to this, its not a moment thing. its definently strong potential for something to become very serious, but i don't think you meant it that way but im just clarifying.
I don't mean it that way. I'm talking be specific. Tell him you are high on this new guy...

Don't focus on the "at the moment" focus on the "be honest" part of the message. Some men are smart as mud bricks when the gonads start to talk and won't understand subtlety. This way you are just being totally honest and not hurtful...

Tell him he can be a friend but if he wants more then he needs to back off, you got somebody you are interested in.

robdastud
08-27-2006, 05:33 PM
Calm down rob.

Its not like you promised to go on a date with this dude from work. You don't really owe him any long-winded explanations. Unless he keeps stalking you, and then you should tell him your already in a relationship.

well i did tell him to gimmie a call on saturday and we could do something (im too nice and hate telling people no) so i kinda blew him off... but i think part of it was i wanted to be nice b/c i felt like he had a one up on me...

Cypress
08-27-2006, 05:36 PM
well i did tell him to gimmie a call on saturday and we could do something (im too nice and hate telling people no) so i kinda blew him off... but i think part of it was i wanted to be nice b/c i felt like he had a one up on me...

So what? It happens all the time. Dude, most adult men know how to handle rejection by the time we're 18 years old. Most of us have hit on billions of chicks (or dudes) in our life. Just tell him you're in a relationship.

Cancel7
08-27-2006, 05:38 PM
i agree, but im also concerned about the fallout... i mean one place im very VERY discrete is work... i mean its my career, i don't care if family knows im gay (some do) and all my friends know im gay, but work is work.... i mean i could see me having this fallout and then him blabbering my business to everyone so to speak, thats why i kinda feel like im walking on eggshells, and i totally fucked myself.... big time.... but i really didn't do it to myself b/c he was the one who remembered me from fucking march... MARCH.... i don't remember what i wore yesterday who i saw last week, but this dude remembers from seeing me out in Hartford at a gay bar in MARCH

Hmm. You know Rob, it's still all kind of nebulous. Maybe you're gay, maybe you're straight, maybe you're bi. I wouldn't clarify for him if you haven't already. In this case, Cypress is probably right, no big explanations, unless he turns out to be a stalker. All things considered, it's probably best not to mention Nick. Why confirm for 100% certainty?

LadyT
08-28-2006, 07:37 AM
ahhckward!!!!!!

I'd very politely distance myself from him as soon as possible. If you go out with him, make sure you're with a friend and talk about your date and remember, 'BE ALOOF' -- "waa? you wanted to go out alone? why don't you tell me about your boyfriend and I'll tell you about mine"

He has a crush on you and has obviously had one on your for a very long time. Giving him any false hope or getting him into a comfort zone where he thinks he has a chance would be disasterous. But remember when you hang out with him, don't tell him anything too personal you wouldn't want anyone at work to know.

robdastud
08-28-2006, 07:42 AM
strange lady t totally!!! lemmet ell you im at work and haven't seen him yet but feel like im totally walking on eggshells... very odd, but lady t ... HE HAS A PARTNER!!! why's he all hitting on me...

robdastud
08-28-2006, 07:42 AM
nicks all like do i have to kick his ass, and i thought that was hot. :)

Damocles
08-28-2006, 07:43 AM
The same reason men with GFs cheat. He thinks you da man!

LadyT
08-28-2006, 07:46 AM
See, look at that. One cigarette and your walking on egg shells, what if you'd actually had drinks?

TheDanold
08-28-2006, 08:01 AM
Tell him you've become a holyroller and decided to go straight, if he wants proof bring lazypig to the company party, she'll get a free meal and you get freedom. Win-win.

robdastud
08-28-2006, 08:02 AM
See, look at that. One cigarette and your walking on egg shells, what if you'd actually had drinks?

i shudder to think.... however though i really didn't think he was all that attractive... but i know how i can get when i have drinks....

nick is just so da man... he works downtown and i have a window seat and can see his building from my window....

Damocles
08-28-2006, 08:05 AM
i shudder to think.... however though i really didn't think he was all that attractive... but i know how i can get when i have drinks....

nick is just so da man... he works downtown and i have a window seat and can see his building from my window....
'Dawg wears the beer goggles? Dang.

robdastud
08-28-2006, 08:07 AM
im just all nervous sitting here kinda like waiting b/c i know ill run into him again... he's always on my floor working w/ accounts payable (and probably stalking me on the side) but i don't like confrontation and id rather just not see him again LOL. if he comes over im just gonna be like i ended up having a very busy weekend, sorry i didnt' get back to you...

TheDanold
08-28-2006, 08:09 AM
im just all nervous sitting here kinda like waiting b/c i know ill run into him again... he's always on my floor working w/ accounts payable (and probably stalking me on the side) but i don't like confrontation and id rather just not see him again LOL. if he comes over im just gonna be like i ended up having a very busy weekend, sorry i didnt' get back to you...

Don't forget to minimize the justplainpolitics window, it would be pretty funny if he looked over your shoulder and came on here!
:eek:

robdastud
08-28-2006, 08:27 AM
Don't forget to minimize the justplainpolitics window, it would be pretty funny if he looked over your shoulder and came on here!
:eek:

oh im all over that danomano!!! but that would be pretty phunny.

LadyT
08-28-2006, 09:15 AM
Don't forget to minimize the justplainpolitics window, it would be pretty funny if he looked over your shoulder and came on here!
:eek:

Kudos. That joke was actually funny. Keep up the good work.

Damocles
08-28-2006, 09:20 AM
I like the JustinInCT user made on the fly thing too! I was dying!

TRGLDTE
08-28-2006, 11:03 AM
i agree, but im also concerned about the fallout... i mean one place im very VERY discrete is work... i mean its my career, i don't care if family knows im gay (some do) and all my friends know im gay, but work is work.... i mean i could see me having this fallout and then him blabbering my business to everyone so to speak, thats why i kinda feel like im walking on eggshells, and i totally fucked myself.... big time.... but i really didn't do it to myself b/c he was the one who remembered me from fucking march... MARCH.... i don't remember what i wore yesterday who i saw last week, but this dude remembers from seeing me out in Hartford at a gay bar in MARCH I thik you give too much power to the fear of what he might blab. So what might he blab about? About what you did OUTSIDE of work? Definitely do not tell this guy secrets if you think he might go off.

TRGLDTE
08-28-2006, 11:10 AM
I don't mean it that way. I'm talking be specific. Tell him you are high on this new guy...

Don't focus on the "at the moment" focus on the "be honest" part of the message. Some men are smart as mud bricks when the gonads start to talk and won't understand subtlety. This way you are just being totally honest and not hurtful...

Tell him he can be a friend but if he wants more then he needs to back off, you got somebody you are interested in. Yeah. Nobody likes to be played, so go with the being honest approach, and use that. 'If you let him get false hopes, he'll feel played, that's dishonest, that's not your style, you've been played, it hurt, you woudn't want that for anyone else, etc."