Bizarro Thread

[BRUTALITOPS]

Up is down, right is left, good is bad. This is the bizarro thread.

Let me introduce myself.

My name is Grind, I often feel that I have a deep connection and responsability to the rest of society. The wealth I earn should be shared with everyone to make sure that everyone has the same opportunities that I am simply LUCKY to have. Nothing gets me more angry than when the government fails to step in and help those in need, and no one gets me more peeved than those that think government is ineffective. Love it or like it, government is a vital part of our existence, and we are lucky to have it.

Drugs, prostitution and other so called 'victimless crimes' (yeah right) shouldn't be legalized because it's wrong, and people shouldn't make their own decisions. I think it's our obligation to those that aren't as smart as the rest of us to make sure that the oppressed dont' continue to screw up their lives.

We also need to fully submit to the united nations. There are many culturally unique countries in this world (they are just as good as us, in fact... better), but they still need our assistence. Why should our country possess such a large portion of the world's wealth while we continue exploiting the poor african farmers and goat herders? I therefore support a global tax so that other culturally distict nations can have a shot at a brighter tomorrow. We also need to listen to what ALL nations say, even if they are dictatorships, because what REALLY makes america great is our ability to listen and to know that we must not assert ourselves so aggressively... it's much better to be the weak and pittied nation than the strong and hated.

This is how I feel,

I am Bizarro Grind.

[Damocles]

I hate this whole idea...

[BRUTALITOPS]

so you like it?

[Damocles]

LOL. People are going to be totally not confused by the whole backasswards totally upfront of this thread.

[BRUTALITOPS]

may I request that no one else participate?

[Damocles]

I am Bizarro Damocles...

Things I believe:

1. The Government is there to protect you from yourself.
2. The Government should insure that everything bad for you eventually becomes illegal.
3. Undeclared War is the tops! Every President should have one, maybe even two at a time!
4. The US should spend all its time fixing every other nation.
5. The UN is the most effective means of creating peace and is so totally uncorrupt that it has nearly reached perfection.
6. We should all be embarrassed of our success and give our money to the government to give to the needy. We can't trust ourselves to pick the right charities, or to even care enough. Only the government can care enough and it just isn't true that it overspends.
7. The best thing for the US would be if the Government just took over paying for all healthcare, it wouldn't even have to be an increase in taxing...

I am Damocles and I hate this thread.

[Annie]

I believe that the government should be there to keep the barbarians from the doors. If it does that, it's pretty good.

If they do the basic well, which currently is NOT describing the governments of the USA; federal, state, or local; then perhaps they can work on other things that have to do with the common welfare. This of course, common welfare, is referring to such as interstate projects. Certainly NOT welfare or anything smacking of redistribution of income.

[Damocles]

Um... You do know it is opposite day in here forever, right?

[Annie]

Um... You do know it is opposite day in here forever, right?

So it seems! :clink:

[Damocles]

Good Morning Folks! I'm for getting up now!

[klaatu]

Damn Holyrollers! We should move them all to an Island!! I was out all last night sucking tongues with a couple of strangers in a bathroom stall at this greesy nightclub .. and while we were lockjawed ... I slipped my hand into this one guys pocket and stole his blackberry! ..lol !!

Anyways ... saw a couple of crazy holyrollers picketing out in front of a movie theater last night ... I cant stand these people ...

Do you all love me?

Aint I the stud of the studs?

I wonder .. who has the biggest bulge? My guess is Adam ... but then again ...he is Jewish .. Im not so sure about that ... I know its not some holyroller ... lol! j/k

I had a wet dream about Jarod last night ... does anyone else here have wet dreams about Jarod? lol

Care , if you are reading this ... my hanging plant is dying ...do you thnk I should water more than once every couple of weeks ?

[Care4all]

now that was pretty funny klaatu! lol!!!!!

can't wait to see rob's respond!

who knows, maybe there will be a kiss and make up session somewhere down the road?

[Sir Evil]

Hmmm, opposite thread eh?......

Ok, I am a democrat, I post here on this board because I don't think I am always right, and like to hear possible other views, if your opposing view makes me upset I will post a rebuttal of something very well thought out, and meaningful, And I really hate to be patronized by my fellow dems!

[Dixie - In Memoriam]

Hello, I am Bizarro Dixie....

First and foremost, let me say, I am here to be liked and make friends and I genuinely care what each of you think of me! I am especially fond of people who have read a lot of socialist literature, and feel enlightened by what they learned, enough to set the rest of the world straight. These people should be respected as the smartest of the elite, and followed as if they were gods.

I believe we should completely segregated society, the more we can group people and divide them by class, the better... this allows us to award special benefits to various minority groupings, depending on who the cultural elite deem in need of benevolence at the moment. I choose to leave such details up to them, as they are profoundly more wise than myself. The cultural elite will also determine which social issues we are ready to handle, it is merely our duty to be the sheep. I believe in a Socialist Utopia... Funding should come from anything Capitalist, because Capitalism is our Enemy!

On foreign policy, I prefer to keep my head in the sand and pretend there is nothing outside of my own little fantasy world. America is my Neverland, and I simply don't comprehend a different reality. All of these people... Osama, Saddam, Abu Zarqawi, Abracadabrajihad... They are all made up people! YES! It's a conspiracy by George W. Bush and the PNAC Neocon Skull and Boners to fool us ALL!

I am a devout Atheist, I can't imagine why people would ever believe in a greater force than themselves. Religion is just a fad, an imagined security blanket for the insecure, a pacifier mankind has not broken itself from in all its history. The notion that something must have originally created life, is just absurd.

[Care4all]

Ok, my name is Care4all

And I am the meanest SOB that ever existed in our history.

I hate all posters.

I love the administration.

I love sending our children to war.

I love having enemies.

I hate those in need because they are lazy and stupid and drag me down.

I love our govenment because of what they can do for ME, ME, ME!

I LOVE DECEIVERS and darkness so much that I am willing to die for it.

I hate sunshine or anything that sheds light on the truth...

I hate our constitution and think it is a useless piece of crap to just walk on...

I hate terrorists so much that I think we should torture and kill them all.

But if we don't kill them, I think they should be locked up forever, without EVER being given a trial.

I think that we should drop the bomb on the middle east to get rid of all of those islamofascists because they are coming to get me over here.

I think our government should censor our media during times of war so that we don't have to hear the bad....and even arrest the journalists for receiving any pertinent and classified information.

I also believe that the administration should be allowed to put fake news stories in the media without us knowing it is coming from our government via people like Armstrong.

I believe that our congressment like Duke Cunningham should never had been charged with a crime because deals are necessary for us to get the best product.

there's more, but I am getting tired...

thank you for listening:D

care4all...

[FUCK THE POLICE]

" Dixie's Pinhead Quote of the Moment:
"God" may be capitlalized, because that is a reference to a person.
Watermark displays profound ignorance of religious belief as well as grammar. "

You're an idiot. The only reason 'God' is capitalized is because you're referencing a single individual, a name. It's like Anthony O'Neal. To capitalize "He" when in reference to God is simply bad grammar, and it annoys us non-holyrollers because it's simply so retarded.

[Dixie - In Memoriam]

The only reason 'God' is capitalized is because you're referencing a single individual

"God" is capitalized, as well as "He" and "His" when referencing "God" because it is a profoundly important and significant thing. "God" is not a person or an individual, "He" is not even a gender-specific pronoun, when referencing God.

I am sorry you apparently don't understand religion or grammar, but it is grammatically correct to capitalize God, and any other references pertaining to God.

[Care4all]

The only reason 'God' is capitalized is because you're referencing a single individual

"God" is capitalized, as well as "He" and "His" when referencing "God" because it is a profoundly important and significant thing. "God" is not a person or an individual, "He" is not even a gender-specific pronoun, when referencing God.

I am sorry you apparently don't understand religion or grammar, but it is grammatically correct to capitalize God, and any other references pertaining to God.

And that is precisely what I was taught, in school when growing up....and I only went to public schools and schools on military bases....not any religious schools.

must be "something" from yesteryear...huh dixie? ;) Another thing bites the dust! oh no!

[Damocles]

*Ahem* Bizarro thread... No serious debate here! Unless you are going backwards!

:P

[evince]

I am a conservitive religious right republican.

Grind is hot!

[FUCK THE POLICE]

The only reason 'God' is capitalized is because you're referencing a single individual

"God" is capitalized, as well as "He" and "His" when referencing "God" because it is a profoundly important and significant thing. "God" is not a person or an individual, "He" is not even a gender-specific pronoun, when referencing God.

I am sorry you apparently don't understand religion or grammar, but it is grammatically correct to capitalize God, and any other references pertaining to God.

No, you don't. God isn't profoundly important except for causing the pointless deaths of millions of people.

[FUCK THE POLICE]

And that is precisely what I was taught, in school when growing up....and I only went to public schools and schools on military bases....not any religious schools.

must be "something" from yesteryear...huh dixie? ;) Another thing bites the dust! oh no!

It belongs in yesteryear, back with hosing the blacks like they use to do in Dixie's homland (he probably has fond memories of hosing blacks, to bad he has to act like he's not a racist now).

[Damocles]

I believe you guys are remembering that this is a serious thread about how we believe... Not a fun thread where you pretend to believe the opposite of what you do! So stop trying to make this thread fun!

[Sir Evil]

I never saw a thread hijacked on this board.

[Damocles]

I never saw a thread hijacked on this board.
Yeah, it's not like it happens all the time, that's why I'm so surprised at the way they have started in on the jokes ruining a serious debate thread!

[evince]

Bush is just a brillient Man with a remarkable deep insite.

When I gaze upon his face I feel a deep admiration and love, But damn he looks hot in those jeans.

Hands off Dixie hes mine!

[BRUTALITOPS]

i love the way that even though desh chooses to praise bush, she still is able to maintain perfect grammar. It's not at all ironic or suggests that her brain is most likely fried from one too many hits of acid. She's a really up standing member of society, no question about that.

By the way, may I suggest that our side convos should not be in bizarro speak?

your not welcome . .

[Damocles]

Good Morning again! I'm not tired so I won't go to bed now. I won't be seeing any of you tomorrow.

[Damocles]

The Broncos didn't just score a touchdown and are looking really bad this pre-season! Man this sucks!

[KingCondanomation]

I never knew about this thread but the Care4All part gave me a laugh.

I am bizarro Dano, I believe that the answer to a great jobs crisis is to increase taxes and regulations to help attract job-creating investment and if we can accumulate a shitload of debt from all the spending then that can only help. I further believe this is "reform" rather than just a continuation of what we have been doing for the last 50 years of increasing regulations and debt.
I also believe Watermark is a sex god and that this thread is still funny 4 years later and that Grind is glad he created this thread and doesn't look back on it and wish it never existed as it is not lame.

[FUCK THE POLICE]

I am bizarro Watermark

I believe that we should eliminate all science funding and cut off the trivial amount of our spending that goes towards making sure that children don't starve to death so that we can give even more tax breaks to the rich and corporations. I believe that the free market is magic, and that the government is a magical whirlpool that's incapable of doing anything economically productive, because that violates my morals.

I believe that teenagers should be castrated for masturbating or having sex outside of marriage, and that anyone who miscarries should be put on the guillotine, and fetuses should have more rights than mothers because they're the most innocent thing possible. Also, since we don't have enough entertainment for conservatives in this nation, I propose making the penalty for every crime death, best for conservatives to enjoy it. Science education also needs to be replaced with bible study classes.

Unions need to be abolished, because they are an abomination before the lord. It makes sense to favor corporations at every single possible turn over individuals; and the rich at every single turn over the middle class. Hey, eventually maybe the money will get to you after they've spent it! This is much better than it getting to them after you've spent it, trust me.

Christianity should be made the national religion and we need to ban cursing and pornography and pot and alcohol (on penalty of death). Police will be replaced by efficient private security officers, so that people will be able to enjoy the efficiency of the market in providing them all the protection they can afford. It's more important to lower taxes than to eliminate debt, and we should deliberately make the government inefficient so that we'll have even more excuses to cut taxes on the rich and corporations.

Finally, I love conservatives, think they're completely rational and intelligent, and enjoy they're moral innovation that has made the world a much better place over the years. Greed is good and suck my cock.

[/MSG/]

I am bizarro Billy.

I value and respect every living human beings opinion, especially over my own. I hate listening to music that isn't pop, because pop is the only musically diverse music out there. I also detest the mere thought of drinking alcohol and am ashamed of my Irish heritage. I would never even look at a gun, unless it was in my lifetime military career, because I could not see a better career than the military. I also cannot stand people who disparage our government and especially our various police agencies. We need them to protect us from ourselves, because only their authority is incorruptible.

My idols on this board are Dixie and Watermark. Dixie for his vast knowledge of everything there is to know, and Watermark for his outstanding awesomeness.

[BRUTALITOPS]

Grind - making quality threads since 2006.

[ZappasGuitar]

may I request that no one else participate?

this isn't the most AMAZING thread I've never posted on in WEEKS!

[KingCondanomation]

I am bizarro Watermark

Nuff said

[Cancel 2018. 3]

FAIL

[Damocles]

This thread is so full of success! Nothing will ever be more successful than this thread.

[BRUTALITOPS]

This thread is so full of success! Nothing will ever be more successful than this thread.

i believe you meant to say that this thread sucks and everyone makes way better threads than me

[Damocles]

i believe you meant to say that this thread sucks and everyone makes way better threads than me
I have nothing but contempt for this thread and its author.

[DamnYankee]

This thread is not gay.

[Mott the Hoople]

I hate this whole idea...
I do too. What ever happened to peanut butter?

[Mott the Hoople]

This thread is not gay.It's not exactly dark and foreboding either.

[Mott the Hoople]

I have nothing but contempt for this thread and its author.You say that like it's a bad thing.

[Minister of Truth]

1) Grind is smart
2) In reference to Grind's above post, I have not been making quality threads since before 2006
3) This thread is not further proof that we need a fucking gravedug emoticon!!!

[cancel2 2022]

I am bizarro Billy.

I value and respect every living human beings opinion, especially over my own. I hate listening to music that isn't pop, because pop is the only musically diverse music out there. I also detest the mere thought of drinking alcohol and am ashamed of my Irish heritage. I would never even look at a gun, unless it was in my lifetime military career, because I could not see a better career than the military. I also cannot stand people who disparage our government and especially our various police agencies. We need them to protect us from ourselves, because only their authority is incorruptible.

My idols on this board are Dixie and Watermark. Dixie for his vast knowledge of everything there is to know, and Watermark for his outstanding awesomeness.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXp96Um-TAs"