Agnosticus_Caesar
11-29-2006, 12:15 AM
2002
- Saddam's gonna get ya. Get Ya! Boogedy!
- WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD
-9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11
- Cheney cites "Italian documents" as evidence that Iraq has been trying to buy uranium
- The IAEA (UN Atomic Energy Watchdogs) ask to see said documents
- Bush admin sticks out tongue and refuses to turn them over
-Mushroom clouds over US cities! Unless you vote Republican!
- Vote Republican for the mid-terms! 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD
- We, the Congress, do solemnly swear to try to keep our jobs by signing this here "Joint Resolution to Authorize the Use of United States Armed Forces Against Iraq"
- I, GEE DUBYA BEE, done swear that I will exhaust all diplomats before using war as a first...err... last resort_
- Bush asks the Pentagon for a date when US forces will be at a state of operational rediness. They tell him "Five months sir".
- We WILL get The UN to sign a second resolution authoriz... what, we don't have the votes? What about Lithuania? We paid good goddamned money to get those fucking vot...
- FUCK The UN!
-Iraq is found to be slightly over range with Al Samud II missiles, and destroys said missiles.
- Bush clears Brush
- George Tenet vets an October 2002 speech where Bush is to say that Iraq had tried to buy yellowcake uranium. Tenet refers to said claim as "Highly dubious" (Washintonese for "That's a complete crock of shit, Mr. President)
2003
- During "The State of The Union" speech, Bush makes nearly the same claim about yellowcake that Tenet vetted in October. When called on it, The Bush Admin blames Tenet for not vetting last minute changes that they did not allow him to see, and cites "massive intelligence failures" (unlike the "massive failures of intellect", that get Bush re-elected in 2004).
- Bush arbitrarily "decides" that Iraq cannot be reformed, and must be invaded. Reasons will be forthcoming, directly following information on who killed Kennedy, and why anything exists at all.
- Bush admin turns over "The Italian Documents" to The IAEA days before the invasion is to commence ( Stop us now, you commie UN bastards!).
- SHOCK and AWE!
- AWW! We missed!
- WMD? Who said anything about WMD? This is about LIBERATION BABY!
- Remember kids, 9-11 and Iraq are somehow linked. Brown people did it.
- De-Baathification is a resounding success
- De-Baathification is an astounding mistake
- Ari Fleischer quits, claiming to want "more family time" ( Washintonese for "I'd really like to stop telling hundreds of lies a week to people who know I'm lying, and are simply waiting for me to go stark raving Bush).
- Wilson tells the truth about his trip to Niger, and the truth about yellowcake and Iraq. Republicans mistake his text as saying "Yes, I am a traitor, please smear me, and expose my wife as a CIA operative".
- Carl Rove is officially nominated to lead Hell's armies into battle against God.
- Democrats filibuster
- God asks what this whole "Battle for Eternity" is about.
- D's and R's tell God to mind his own goddamned business.
- Remember kids, 9-11 is connected to Iraq...in our speeches, at the very least.
- American troops still searching for WMD, and the flowers that were supposed to be thrown at their feet.
- Saddam Hussein caught, a few partisans give a fuck.
2004
- Goddamnit! There is NO FUCKING INSURGENCY!
- It's all Foreign fighters I tell you!
- 9-11 Commission states that Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11.
- Cheney says 9-11 Commission is wrong. When asked by a quick-witted reporter if he had any intel The 9-11 Commission didn't have, Cheney answers "Maybe"
- Bush Admin officials admit that 9-11 had nothing to do with Iraq...late on a Friday, when no one is paying attention
- Bush Admin pretends it never said anything about Iraq and 9-11
- Republicans show how classy they are, and how much they respect the military, with tastefully rendered purple heart bandaids.
- Swiftboat Veterans For a Republican Majority
- Massive Intelligence Failures (Bush Wins).
- There IS NO FUCKING INSURGENCY!
2005
- There is NO FUCKING INSURGENCY
- Insurgents beg to differ
- Bush insists that the people want what he wants.
- Bush claims "fix" for Social Security
- Populace tells Bush where he can put his "fix"
- Stay the course
- You may not look at those coffins
- No INSURGENCY, they are "Foreign terrorist Fighters"
- Just a "Handful of Dead-Enders!"
- Okay, you got us, there's an insurgency. Whoops! (Cue Benny Hill music).
2006
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- (Most Republicans) Oh shit! We're gonna lose!
- ( Rove) No way, my computer predicts a permanant republican majority!
- Late October... - Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Later October " Boss, I think we should stop saying that STC thing"
- Bush That's because you're not staying the course!
- November 6th (Rove) We will keep both houses! Muahahahahaha!
- November 7th (Republican Staffer) Um, boss...Larry lost the Diebold access codes...
and on and on...
- Saddam's gonna get ya. Get Ya! Boogedy!
- WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD
-9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11
- Cheney cites "Italian documents" as evidence that Iraq has been trying to buy uranium
- The IAEA (UN Atomic Energy Watchdogs) ask to see said documents
- Bush admin sticks out tongue and refuses to turn them over
-Mushroom clouds over US cities! Unless you vote Republican!
- Vote Republican for the mid-terms! 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 9-11 WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD WMD
- We, the Congress, do solemnly swear to try to keep our jobs by signing this here "Joint Resolution to Authorize the Use of United States Armed Forces Against Iraq"
- I, GEE DUBYA BEE, done swear that I will exhaust all diplomats before using war as a first...err... last resort_
- Bush asks the Pentagon for a date when US forces will be at a state of operational rediness. They tell him "Five months sir".
- We WILL get The UN to sign a second resolution authoriz... what, we don't have the votes? What about Lithuania? We paid good goddamned money to get those fucking vot...
- FUCK The UN!
-Iraq is found to be slightly over range with Al Samud II missiles, and destroys said missiles.
- Bush clears Brush
- George Tenet vets an October 2002 speech where Bush is to say that Iraq had tried to buy yellowcake uranium. Tenet refers to said claim as "Highly dubious" (Washintonese for "That's a complete crock of shit, Mr. President)
2003
- During "The State of The Union" speech, Bush makes nearly the same claim about yellowcake that Tenet vetted in October. When called on it, The Bush Admin blames Tenet for not vetting last minute changes that they did not allow him to see, and cites "massive intelligence failures" (unlike the "massive failures of intellect", that get Bush re-elected in 2004).
- Bush arbitrarily "decides" that Iraq cannot be reformed, and must be invaded. Reasons will be forthcoming, directly following information on who killed Kennedy, and why anything exists at all.
- Bush admin turns over "The Italian Documents" to The IAEA days before the invasion is to commence ( Stop us now, you commie UN bastards!).
- SHOCK and AWE!
- AWW! We missed!
- WMD? Who said anything about WMD? This is about LIBERATION BABY!
- Remember kids, 9-11 and Iraq are somehow linked. Brown people did it.
- De-Baathification is a resounding success
- De-Baathification is an astounding mistake
- Ari Fleischer quits, claiming to want "more family time" ( Washintonese for "I'd really like to stop telling hundreds of lies a week to people who know I'm lying, and are simply waiting for me to go stark raving Bush).
- Wilson tells the truth about his trip to Niger, and the truth about yellowcake and Iraq. Republicans mistake his text as saying "Yes, I am a traitor, please smear me, and expose my wife as a CIA operative".
- Carl Rove is officially nominated to lead Hell's armies into battle against God.
- Democrats filibuster
- God asks what this whole "Battle for Eternity" is about.
- D's and R's tell God to mind his own goddamned business.
- Remember kids, 9-11 is connected to Iraq...in our speeches, at the very least.
- American troops still searching for WMD, and the flowers that were supposed to be thrown at their feet.
- Saddam Hussein caught, a few partisans give a fuck.
2004
- Goddamnit! There is NO FUCKING INSURGENCY!
- It's all Foreign fighters I tell you!
- 9-11 Commission states that Iraq had nothing to do with 9-11.
- Cheney says 9-11 Commission is wrong. When asked by a quick-witted reporter if he had any intel The 9-11 Commission didn't have, Cheney answers "Maybe"
- Bush Admin officials admit that 9-11 had nothing to do with Iraq...late on a Friday, when no one is paying attention
- Bush Admin pretends it never said anything about Iraq and 9-11
- Republicans show how classy they are, and how much they respect the military, with tastefully rendered purple heart bandaids.
- Swiftboat Veterans For a Republican Majority
- Massive Intelligence Failures (Bush Wins).
- There IS NO FUCKING INSURGENCY!
2005
- There is NO FUCKING INSURGENCY
- Insurgents beg to differ
- Bush insists that the people want what he wants.
- Bush claims "fix" for Social Security
- Populace tells Bush where he can put his "fix"
- Stay the course
- You may not look at those coffins
- No INSURGENCY, they are "Foreign terrorist Fighters"
- Just a "Handful of Dead-Enders!"
- Okay, you got us, there's an insurgency. Whoops! (Cue Benny Hill music).
2006
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- (Most Republicans) Oh shit! We're gonna lose!
- ( Rove) No way, my computer predicts a permanant republican majority!
- Late October... - Stay The Course!
- Stay The Course!
- Later October " Boss, I think we should stop saying that STC thing"
- Bush That's because you're not staying the course!
- November 6th (Rove) We will keep both houses! Muahahahahaha!
- November 7th (Republican Staffer) Um, boss...Larry lost the Diebold access codes...
and on and on...