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Beefy
05-06-2008, 10:28 PM
Okay, I am a total retard, but I've taken the first step in acknowledging that I'm a total retard. And by total, I mean 110%, USDA Grade A supertard.

On the flipside, its great to have these girls picking up on me all the time, I really thing I'm going to meet a cool chick sometime soon here. My confidence is up, I'm in the best shape I've been since High School, I'm in the best living situation of my life, and I'm ready for a woman.

That being said...

Last night, I'm at Yard House Waikiki sitting at the bar with a friend of mine, and there's these two girls sitting around the corner. One of them is a really, super cute, just gorgeous blondes, and her friend is a cute brunette. I'm making eyes at the blonde for a little while, trying to get the nerve to approach her and see if she wants to get a table.

So, about a half hour in, she approaches me and asks me my name! She came up to me and broke the ice, so we get to chatting. And I didn't have my glasses on so I didn't even realize just how supreme this girl was until she was up close, and she was so unbelievably attractive that I could feel my physiology change when she was near. She tells me she's from Arizona and is going home the next day (today) so she wanted to party that night (last night). Then, the bartender brings up a couple of drinks, and tells these girls they were on me, but they were really on the house, I never even asked for them, but the bartender (also really hot) was just trying to help a bruddah out! So here I am with these two girls, but I'm trippin that its getting late and I gave to work early, so my dumbass calls it a night. And after I kiss her hand, the blonde girl asks me for my phone number, I give it to her, don't even ask for hers and then depart.... She wanted me to come back to her hotel but I'm so far out of the game, I didn't realize it until this morning. Super, duper, ubertard.

I'm a retard, but at least I know I'm a retard. Maybe I'll figure this out soon.

Damocles
05-06-2008, 10:31 PM
At least you gave her digits.

BRUTALITOPS
05-06-2008, 10:46 PM
MBL... how the FUCK do you not even pick up on "wanna see my hotel room?" I mean jesus christ dude... wow.

Minister of Truth
05-07-2008, 01:38 AM
Shit, I'm just as unlucky as Beefy, but he has been in much more promising situations than I've ever been in, because I'm sure I would have done alright in both situations he has described so far...

Welcome to my world, dude. Or is it the other way around, since you are me elder?

FUCK THE POLICE
05-07-2008, 05:47 AM
Okay, I am a total retard, but I've taken the first step in acknowledging that I'm a total retard. And by total, I mean 110%, USDA Grade A supertard.

On the flipside, its great to have these girls picking up on me all the time, I really thing I'm going to meet a cool chick sometime soon here. My confidence is up, I'm in the best shape I've been since High School, I'm in the best living situation of my life, and I'm ready for a woman.

That being said...

Last night, I'm at Yard House Waikiki sitting at the bar with a friend of mine, and there's these two girls sitting around the corner. One of them is a really, super cute, just gorgeous blondes, and her friend is a cute brunette. I'm making eyes at the blonde for a little while, trying to get the nerve to approach her and see if she wants to get a table.

So, about a half hour in, she approaches me and asks me my name! She came up to me and broke the ice, so we get to chatting. And I didn't have my glasses on so I didn't even realize just how supreme this girl was until she was up close, and she was so unbelievably attractive that I could feel my physiology change when she was near. She tells me she's from Arizona and is going home the next day (today) so she wanted to party that night (last night). Then, the bartender brings up a couple of drinks, and tells these girls they were on me, but they were really on the house, I never even asked for them, but the bartender (also really hot) was just trying to help a bruddah out! So here I am with these two girls, but I'm trippin that its getting late and I gave to work early, so my dumbass calls it a night. And after I kiss her hand, the blonde girl asks me for my phone number, I give it to her, don't even ask for hers and then depart.... She wanted me to come back to her hotel but I'm so far out of the game, I didn't realize it until this morning. Super, duper, ubertard.

I'm a retard, but at least I know I'm a retard. Maybe I'll figure this out soon.

This was a good joke, Beefy.

Anyway, hope your livin nice up in Hawaii.

LadyT
05-07-2008, 06:12 AM
Wow. I mean, I have no words. You really are retarded. You're the battleborne of dating.

I mean.......jesus christ, you should have your man card pulled for that one.

I just hope its a joke you're playing on the board. If that's the case, well played, if not for all intents and purposes we're going to call you board vi rgin.

Damocles
05-07-2008, 07:29 AM
Some chick is going to walk up to Beefy and say, "I'd like to have sex with you!" and Beefy is going to say, "Really? I wouldn't like to have sex with me!" walk away then complain about it here....

Wait, that just happened!

uscitizen
05-07-2008, 07:33 AM
yeah seems like he is wasting space in paradise.

BRUTALITOPS
05-07-2008, 07:41 AM
Some chick is going to walk up to Beefy and say, "I'd like to have sex with you!" and Beefy is going to say, "Really? I wouldn't like to have sex with me!" walk away then complain about it here....


HAHAHA. Awesome. A+

evince
05-07-2008, 08:05 AM
The saga of the Beefy one continues.

Hot babes sweatin over his manparts. Tourista chicks who take a break from modeling to visit the Islands and want to gaze at his volcanoe. Hell they want to hike his volcanoe.
Beefy is just too much man meat for himself at this delicate time of life. He so wants to take the next step BUT the hotness just keeps getting in the way.

Its your cross to bare my friend. Some people have MS or speach impediments. The Beefy man has the .......well .....the Hot Beefyness to overcome.

Struggle through my friend watch out for eruptions and know we are all with you brother.

LadyT
05-07-2008, 08:48 AM
.......

Wait, that just happened!

that has to be the funniest thing you've ever posted in the history of your message board life.

feel the pnwage beefy

Cancel7
05-07-2008, 08:50 AM
Does anyone else think that desh shouldn’t have used the word “eruptions” on this thread?

LadyT
05-07-2008, 08:51 AM
............
Its your cross to bare my friend. Some people have MS or speach impediments. The Beefy man has the .......well .....the Hot Beefyness to overcome...

More like beefy stupidness. I can't even pretend that this that was a good thing besides a blood test that says that the girl had super-AIDS

LadyT
05-07-2008, 08:52 AM
Does anyone else think that desh shouldn’t have used the word “eruptions” on this thread?


I'm guessing that wasn't addressed to me.

Damocles
05-07-2008, 08:56 AM
Well.. I for one watch out for spontaneous 'eruptions'...

evince
05-07-2008, 09:03 AM
Hey I was just playin with our tender Beefy guy.

Hes on the road to a new life and hes trying to define it. I love his posts from paradise.

Life has its erruptions and and they can own us or we can own them. I think hes doing a great job.

Battleborne
05-07-2008, 11:01 AM
Wow. I mean, I have no words. You really are retarded. You're the battleborne of dating.

I mean.......jesus christ, you should have your man card pulled for that one.

I just hope its a joke you're playing on the board. If that's the case, well played, if not for all intents and purposes we're going to call you board vi rgin.


elBeefy is the BB of dating?...hey he jerked your chain Ms.so cool...!:cof1:

Cancel7
05-07-2008, 11:46 AM
Okay, I am a total retard, but I've taken the first step in acknowledging that I'm a total retard. And by total, I mean 110%, USDA Grade A supertard.

On the flipside, its great to have these girls picking up on me all the time, I really thing I'm going to meet a cool chick sometime soon here. My confidence is up, I'm in the best shape I've been since High School, I'm in the best living situation of my life, and I'm ready for a woman.

That being said...

Last night, I'm at Yard House Waikiki sitting at the bar with a friend of mine, and there's these two girls sitting around the corner. One of them is a really, super cute, just gorgeous blondes, and her friend is a cute brunette. I'm making eyes at the blonde for a little while, trying to get the nerve to approach her and see if she wants to get a table.

So, about a half hour in, she approaches me and asks me my name! She came up to me and broke the ice, so we get to chatting. And I didn't have my glasses on so I didn't even realize just how supreme this girl was until she was up close, and she was so unbelievably attractive that I could feel my physiology change when she was near. She tells me she's from Arizona and is going home the next day (today) so she wanted to party that night (last night). Then, the bartender brings up a couple of drinks, and tells these girls they were on me, but they were really on the house, I never even asked for them, but the bartender (also really hot) was just trying to help a bruddah out! So here I am with these two girls, but I'm trippin that its getting late and I gave to work early, so my dumbass calls it a night. And after I kiss her hand, the blonde girl asks me for my phone number, I give it to her, don't even ask for hers and then depart.... She wanted me to come back to her hotel but I'm so far out of the game, I didn't realize it until this morning. Super, duper, ubertard.

I'm a retard, but at least I know I'm a retard. Maybe I'll figure this out soon.

Beefy if you weren’t in Hawaii, and lived somewhere on the east coast I’d drive over and sleep with you myself just to put a stop to this debacle. Well, unless you lived in Jersey. I don’t go to Jersey.

Damocles
05-07-2008, 12:13 PM
Beefy if you weren’t in Hawaii, and lived somewhere on the east coast I’d drive over and sleep with you myself just to put a stop to this debacle. Well, unless you lived in Jersey. I don’t go to Jersey.
I heard they have gardens there

evince
05-07-2008, 12:14 PM
There are a shit load of Jersey guys thinking of moving today.

Cancel7
05-07-2008, 12:22 PM
There are a shit load of Jersey guys thinking of moving today.

Oh yeah right Desh! :)

LadyT
05-07-2008, 12:31 PM
Beefy if you weren’t in Hawaii, and lived somewhere on the east coast I’d drive over and sleep with you myself just to put a stop to this debacle. Well, unless you lived in Jersey. I don’t go to Jersey.

As long as we're clear. Jersey's mine!

LadyT
05-07-2008, 12:31 PM
There are a shit load of Jersey guys thinking of moving today.

?

evince
05-07-2008, 12:33 PM
As long as we're clear. Jersey's mine!

They have just changed their minds

Cancel7
05-07-2008, 12:49 PM
As long as we're clear. Jersey's mine!

You can have it! I am forced, on occassion when I go with my one friend Mac who doesn't fly, to drive through that shithole on my way to DC. I throw beer bottles out his window the whole way!

Damocles
05-07-2008, 12:50 PM
You can have it! I am forced, on occassion when I go with my one friend Mac who doesn't fly, to drive through that shithole on my way to DC. I throw beer bottles out his window the whole way!
Where do you get all those beer bottles?

Cancel7
05-07-2008, 12:51 PM
Where do you get all those beer bottles?

LOL! I have none. I make all those beer bottle stories up.

Damocles
05-07-2008, 12:52 PM
And I thought I had found the origin of the Mount Trashmore!

BRUTALITOPS
05-07-2008, 02:38 PM
As long as we're clear. Jersey's mine!
you can have it

BRUTALITOPS
05-07-2008, 02:39 PM
DAMNIT darla already took my one liner.

uscitizen
05-07-2008, 03:13 PM
Grind ia a true politician, here all the time until elected admin.
Have not seen him much since....

BRUTALITOPS
05-07-2008, 04:16 PM
Grind ia a true politician, here all the time until elected admin.
Have not seen him much since....

what are you talking about i've been on the board more than ever.

uscitizen
05-07-2008, 05:11 PM
Yeah right, remember big brother is watching.

Beefy
05-07-2008, 09:59 PM
Beefy if you weren’t in Hawaii, and lived somewhere on the east coast I’d drive over and sleep with you myself just to put a stop to this debacle. Well, unless you lived in Jersey. I don’t go to Jersey.

There are airplanes you know.

FUCK THE POLICE
05-07-2008, 10:06 PM
I'm Beefy and I live right next to New York, give or take a thousand or so miles.

Beefy
05-07-2008, 11:42 PM
I'm Beefy and I live right next to New York, give or take a thousand or so miles.

I'll bet you're an even bigger tard than me.

FUCK THE POLICE
05-07-2008, 11:56 PM
I'll bet you're an even bigger tard than me.

I'll bet you're an even smaller tard than me.

Beefy
05-08-2008, 12:08 AM
I'll bet you're an even smaller tard than me.

Well then. Maybe.

Minister of Truth
05-08-2008, 01:16 AM
Yeah right, remember big brother is watching.

Hey Grind, have you read any good PM's yet? :clink:

LadyT
05-08-2008, 10:06 AM
I'll bet you're an even bigger tard than me.

I don't know Beefs......I think WM would have sealed the deal.

Chapdog
05-08-2008, 12:36 PM
She wanted to use you for a one night stand.
:1up:

FUCK THE POLICE
05-08-2008, 01:01 PM
I woulda hopped on it like a virgin.

Cancel7
05-08-2008, 01:02 PM
There are airplanes you know.

I'm probably too kinky for you.

Damocles
05-08-2008, 01:19 PM
I'm probably too kinky for you.
Anybody with this kind of game... Yeah, you probably are!

evince
05-08-2008, 01:19 PM
Oh man you sure know how to play them Darla.

Cancel7
05-08-2008, 01:27 PM
Oh man you sure know how to play them Darla.

LOL. I didn't get my reputation as a message board harlot for no reason you know!

Topspin
05-08-2008, 02:27 PM
beefy are you gay? would you have gone if it was a guy??
you make the 40yr old virgin look like a porn star.
WTF is calling in sick for anyway?

Beefy
05-08-2008, 10:25 PM
beefy are you gay? would you have gone if it was a guy??
you make the 40yr old virgin look like a porn star.
WTF is calling in sick for anyway?

No top, I'm not gay, I'm just out of the game. I'm not used to this shit. But now I know. It seems like lately the women are falling out of the trees onto me and I'm letting them drop. But no more. I have a date next weekend with a really cool cute gal who writes for the AP, and hopefully another one tomorrow with a really cute and fun lady who runs a youth after-school camp in town. Then there's another one who I've been talking to at one of my job sites. I guess I'm just not used to girls wanting to have sex with me right off the clip so I react poorly.

I'm content to just start dating. I don't have to suddenly become Peter North.

Minister of Truth
05-09-2008, 12:24 AM
Tell the cute reporter that you're Iron Man. That will get the blood flowing in her veins! :cool:

FUCK THE POLICE
05-09-2008, 12:34 AM
Tell the cute reporter that you're me. She'll jump right on you. If you've ever wanted to have sex in public, it would be your chance.

Minister of Truth
05-09-2008, 12:39 AM
Or just wear Axe deoderant. Women will jump all over that as well. Especially if they are cheerleaders. If you want to be the domiant partner in the encounter, you might not want to use it, because she will pwn you, but its good fun at least...

Beefy
05-09-2008, 12:41 AM
Jesus, you guys are highly unfunny.

Minister of Truth
05-09-2008, 12:43 AM
Come on, you gotta admit those Axe commercials rock. I use Old Spice, myself, and have never purchased an ounce of Axe... :)

FUCK THE POLICE
05-09-2008, 02:47 AM
Jesus, you guys are highly unfunny.

Christ, they, woman, is lowly funny.

FUCK THE POLICE
05-09-2008, 02:48 AM
Come on, you gotta admit those Axe commercials rock. I use Old Spice, myself, and have never purchased an ounce of Axe... :)

It's posts like this that cause me to doubt Three's intelligence.

uscitizen
05-09-2008, 06:57 AM
I though old spice was for old men ?
I figured I was required by law to start using it at 65 ?

LadyT
05-09-2008, 07:09 AM
Anybody with this kind of game... Yeah, you probably are!

+1 damo

Cancel7
05-09-2008, 07:54 AM
Jesus, you guys are highly unfunny.

They really are. Good luck on your dates Beefy, I’m not surprised that women are falling all over you at all. I was always mystified why they weren’t. Probably they always were and you just didn’t realize it.

evince
05-09-2008, 08:16 AM
No top, I'm not gay, I'm just out of the game. I'm not used to this shit. But now I know. It seems like lately the women are falling out of the trees onto me and I'm letting them drop. But no more. I have a date next weekend with a really cool cute gal who writes for the AP, and hopefully another one tomorrow with a really cute and fun lady who runs a youth after-school camp in town. Then there's another one who I've been talking to at one of my job sites. I guess I'm just not used to girls wanting to have sex with me right off the clip so I react poorly.

I'm content to just start dating. I don't have to suddenly become Peter North.

Thats my boy. When you look at the game in differnt light you find the women who will make your life a joy. Hotness is a good thing but a real woman has much more to offer than just hot sex. We all have different things to offer, both men and women. Finding the person who provides the type of hotness as well as the type of personality that complements the way you find joy in life is a gem to behold. We are designed to pair off and pretending that sex up front is the best way to get there will lead you to waste time with someone who provides great sex but cant fill the other side of the ticket. Fearing pairing off is a sure way to end up stuck in the game which leaves a person filling unfullfilled. When you find someone who does it so well you want to fill their ticket (compromise for those that think the word is evil) you will never be happier. The Beefy is on the way to being the happiest mutherfucker on the planet. You go my man.

LadyT
05-09-2008, 10:05 AM
Thats my boy. When you look at the game in differnt light you find the women who will make your life a joy.......... The Beefy is on the way to being the happiest mutherf$#cker on the planet. You go my man.

Desh, don't encourage this. And lets be honest: he's on his way to having his first period.

evince
05-09-2008, 10:07 AM
Period of happiness that is

LadyT
05-09-2008, 10:11 AM
Period of happiness that is

period of menstrual cramps.

Pretty soon, me, Darla and him will swamp feminine product stories on Jollie's posts. It will be good times.

Cancel7
05-09-2008, 10:14 AM
Desh, don't encourage this. And lets be honest: he's on his way to having his first period.

LOL. Mean!

evince
05-09-2008, 10:17 AM
He may just be able to join you and talk about how he has to shop for his lady on her heavy days and which products she perfers.

LadyT
05-09-2008, 10:19 AM
He may just be able to join you and talk about how he has to shop for his lady on her heavy days and which products she perfers.

lol! nice!!!!!!